having a break down in front of your boss

[dreams82]

So, I just cried in front of my boss. I have been making some very silly, stupid mistakes lately and she talked to me yesterday about it, and I said I would pay closer attention to detail. So then I messed up not once, but twice last night when I made name tags for a meeting held at my agency last night, and I put out a sign that said July, not June. She told me about these mistakes this morning, and I told her I was so sorry, and started to cry. She quickly asked me if I wanted to go for a walk and we went for a walk outside. Now I appear unstable, and incapable, wonderful. I guess once you're at rock bottom there's no way to go but up. I am so embarressed right now, but she said not to be, and she doesn't want this to ruin my day. I know she only wants to see me better myself and succeed, she is on my side. How do I stop making dumb mistakes and stop disappointing her? I am so much better than the mistakes I make, but I am in a rut. Has anyone had a break down in front of their bosses? How does one overcome this?

["kelly"]

I had a really big breakdown in front of my boss once. I'm talking full scale sobbing, nose running, uncontrollably shaking (I was super stressed). She didn't know what to do with me at all. I ended up walking out after I crossed my fingers that everyone had gone home - my skin was all red and blotchy. Only one fellow saw me, and he cringed, and gave me a pat on the back. That was nice, but embarassing.

The next day however, she called me back into her office, and told me I was a total drama queen and I should pull myself together.
That spun off a new set of tears, but thankfully in the privacy of the toilet.

Anyway, nowadays she and I get along fine. I wouldn't say its friendly, because she definitely didn't have my best interests in her heart.
I have gone out of my way though, to have social interactions with her - like recommending an art gallery I knew she'd like, and having a meaningful conversation about it. I think in the future if I asked for a recommendation, I'd have a glowing one.

[biodork]

I have had several break downs in front of my boss. It's a little different for me, she is my boss/mentor, but still. I am an emotional person, not to mention I had a very hard time when my grandfather died last september, which was also the same time I had to take a biochemistry course which was sorta hard. When it comes to talking about myself and problems I have, I tend to do that. But she understands at least. I'm still embarassed, but she doesn't hold it against me. I'm sure your boss understands you are stressed as well.

[Empressallie]

Oh abbey dont worry. I had a COMPLETE breakdown at the end of April in my editors office. My FAV co-worker suddenly quit (i'm talking like my best friend here, a girl who planned my bday, spent new years together, told serets to) and I lost it. Well, my co-worker and i both kind lost it.

My editor took me into her office and i was shaking and crying over how my life would be without her here (yeah, i cried AND i dissed my job). My boss, who is so not emotional, was really cool. She said some nice things to me and then decided the best thing to do would be to drink. So we went to the restaurant downstairs and got tanked off pinot noir and talked about life. 3 or 4 glasses of wine later i stumbled home and cried to my mother on the phone the whole way.

This will pass. This same boss just gave me a glowing recommendation for a new position in the company AND totally revised my resume to be the best it can be. Your boss seems like she wants to help you Abbey, and we are all human. Those mistake are so small, it doenst mean you can't do your job.

PM me if you like. THings will get better.

[DontHate]

How do I stop making dumb mistakes and stop disappointing her? I am so much better than the mistakes I make, but I am in a rut. Has anyone had a break down in front of their bosses? How does one overcome this?
Well, it sounds like you're extremely stressed and that's probably why you're making mistakes. Sometimes you just need a good cry to let it all out. I've found that I'm at my worst (work-wise) when I'm uptight and stressed out. When I allow myself to laugh at my mistakes and keep going that's when the quality of my work improves.

Feel better. :)

[yankeeyosh]

Trust me...it's gonna happen soon. I can sense it.

[Melissa22]

I had a break down in front of my boss about two years ago. I was twenty years old working in a textile converting company located in nyc. One of the accounts that I was managing ordered a couple hundred yards of fabric for a trade show she was doing and I got the word that the factory wasn't going to be able to supply it to us in time for her. This was after I had already reassured her that it was going to be ready in time and after she broke down to me and said if this doesn't go right she's going to have to file for backrupsy because of all the loans she received for her new maternity line. So there I was standing there in front my boss that stands six foot change, not a very nice demenor, and just too busy to deal with me not being able to fix the situation by myself and tears start forming. I tried my best to kept it in but I saw that he realized how it was taking a toll on me and he helped me out told me not to worry about it. He thought the client was the brick and went along with his day.

[Melissa22]

Thanks for bring back the memories.

[SpaceMonkey]

Well, I've been on the other side of it with someone I supervised having a break down in my office. It sounds like your boss was pretty supportive with you, so I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself about not "disappointing" her. She seems to think that you're capable enough, but that you're probably just letting these little mistakes get to you which kind of builds them up in your mind until you get to the breaking point.

[java_jenny]

I've had a few breakdowns - at different jobs but I wouldn't worry too much. It is embarrassing but I am a passionate person so it's almost unavoidable at some time or another. Bottom line is...I doubt this will ruin your career or put in a lower class as far as your boss is concerned. Anyone with any common sense will know that you're not unstable just because you had 11 melt down at work. Chalk it up to having a bad day.

One thing I would suggest is to slow down and double check for errors. I know it gets crazy at work and you're probably feeling like you need to rush but I totally believe that it's much better to take 2 or 3 minutes longer to slow down and double check things rather than having to repeat the entire task again.

Hang in there. Hope the rest of your day goes better.

[gymgurl]

aww, try not to feel too bad. I started crying in front on my former boss once too. Actually first I cried in front of the people I worked for (i was an assistant to two people) then I cried in front of the guy who hired me, and it was all because i was quiting! haha. I just felt so bad, I hated the job but the people were great, so leaving was really hard and I felt like I somehow let them down.

[workaholic?]

I've had breakdowns in front of people i work with, one of whom i severely dislike. I just wasn't understanding certain aspects of my job and no one was helping me. They threw me into the fire and expected me to know things that there's no possible way i could know. The guy who i don't like really didn't know what to do with me...he was nice and all, but you could tell he was uncomfortable...asked if i wanted him to leave, etc. After that breakdown, my office neighbor who could here the sobbing came by and asked what was wrong, and i broke down again. he was helpful, giving me some good resources to find the things I don't know. I avoided my boss at all costs, because I know how he his...he's probably one of the nicest people i know...we go to church together even...and i knew he'd want to know what was wrong and try to help, and i knew i would just start crying again.

All in all, the breakdowns in front of people at work didn't have such a bad effect. Finally, people realized that i'd been hung out to dry basically and needed help. They remembered that i just came out of college a year ago and that i'm only 21 and that i'm a woman in a predominantly male industry, making things just that much harder. People are more helpful now, giving me good tips and hints when they think of them, and instead of feeling patronized, i just thank them for their help and use their info. Things are much better now.

[glitterchick81]

I've had tons of those. I know it doesn't make me look good or anything but really...every job I've had so far has stressed me out to the breaking point.

[rocket333d]

I'm usually have very delayed-reaction breakdowns, so I'm lucky enough to slink off the the bathroom before I cry. But about two months ago, I was feeling incredibly fragile, as my best friend had discovered that there was a very good likelihood that she may have contracted HIV. She couldn't afford an instant test, so she took a three-week one at a local clinic. (She didn't want to ask her dad for money because she didn't want him to know) She kept calling me, scared out of her mind and we'd both cry.

The office was very tense, and we were rescheduling all appointments and everything due to a leave of absence for one of my bosses. It was very difficult, but most were understanding. One day, one of the bosses came to me, ranting about how it was all wrong. I had been given instructions it turned out I had misunderstood. I started crying right there. I don't think anyone believed me when I explained about my friend and that's why I was so upset.

I think I lost that job because of that moment. Luckily, I was immediately transferred within the same company.

And my friend was fine. She needs to re-test, of course, but the likelihood of her having the disease has plummeted.

[DavidB]

How does one overcome this?


Hey, you know what might work? Take the weekend to just cool out, relax, go to the pool, whatever - just pull yourself back together 'cause you know, we've all had talking to's by bosses (and don't think for a minute that your boss probably has never had a talking to by one of her previous bosses).

On Monday, stop in w/ your boss, or better yet, why don't you two go to lunch if you can. Don't need to genuflect and apologize all over yourself (I'm sure she knows you feel cruddy), but come in, chin up, tell her you appreciate her pointing out your mistakes and you're going to concentrate to get the tasks done right the first time, and if you have questions, is she OK if you come by and ask...her answer will be "Of course", but it puts you in a position of recongizing her experience and that you'll use it if you need it.

I've been dressed down, more than once, and it sucks. I haven't cried, I just took up smoking...ok, that's not true, but it does take your momentum and feeling of self-worth down to about zero. But it comes back. Get some easy wins, some things you can do to show your boss you're on it...that'll fix a lot in a hurry. Ask for a special project or to help your boss out with a sticky situation...you show that extra effort and you can have a really strong recovery from this.

And have a cocktail, for crying out loud, it's been a tough week - might I suggest an ice cold gin martini? The only way to fly.....

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life

[thedave]

So, I just cried in front of my boss. I have been making some very silly, stupid mistakes lately and she talked to me yesterday about it, and I said I would pay closer attention to detail. So then I messed up not once, but twice last night when I made name tags for a meeting held at my agency last night, and I put out a sign that said July, not June. She told me about these mistakes this morning, and I told her I was so sorry, and started to cry. She quickly asked me if I wanted to go for a walk and we went for a walk outside. Now I appear unstable, and incapable, wonderful. I guess once you're at rock bottom there's no way to go but up. I am so embarressed right now, but she said not to be, and she doesn't want this to ruin my day. I know she only wants to see me better myself and succeed, she is on my side. How do I stop making dumb mistakes and stop disappointing her? I am so much better than the mistakes I make, but I am in a rut. Has anyone had a break down in front of their bosses? How does one overcome this?

Well, after reading your story, I tried to put myself in your bosses shoes. If I was your boss, I wouldn't look down on you. I'd be sort of happy that you care that much that you cry. It shows some level of committment.
I don't know how you can improve. i don't know the situation. But don't beat yourself up about it. If you know that you try and you care, keep plugging away. The results will show up by themselves.
You sound like you are dedicated. Trust in yourself. It'll work out.

[beeblebrox]

Some bosses thrive off of the breakdowns like my former boss who drove me to tears with her behavior. She liked to see me frassled in that situation. Soon after, I quit. It's best not to break down in front of a boss and keep composed. I almost did today when I was talking to my mom about my relationship issue in the phone room. She yelled at me on the phone not to cry. I think crying is acceptable if you find about a death in the family, but otherwise, keep composed.