traveling alone (ladies)

[weary]

for those of you who've done it...any pointers? i've done it in the states many times, and to south america with just 1 or 2 friends (also girls), but will be taking my first trip by myself soon. i was nothing but excited for the getaway from everything until the other day it occured to me to be a little scared. well, not really scared, but i guess just a little aprehensive? anyone want to share their experience/advice?

[RealChic1999]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/158005059X/002-4176871-9220851?v=glance&n=283155

I got the above book, A Woman Alone, a few months ago. I've only gotten around to reading a few chapters...they're interesting short essays by female travelers.

[wordsmith]

It's about the same as traveling in a small group. As a lone traveler of either gender, it's just a good idea to be very aware of your surroundings at all times (similarly to how you would walking by yourself at night, say). I've never had any real problems traveling alone.

There's no need to be scared. Just be aware.

[Winter Storm]

I also haven't had any problems traveling alone. Just dont tell anyone you are alone and don't tell anyone where you're staying.

[wordsmith]

This is a really basic thing, but very effective, and it's easy.

Stride with purpose. Look like you are running shit, know exactly where you're going, at all times. Even if you're lost. Visibly flustered women and those who are moseying along timidly are proven to be more targeted by anybody who wants to mess with you. Give off the vibe that you're somebody to be reckoned with, and you're exponentially more likely to get passed by as a potential target, because you're not an easy mark. Look assured. Body language can be everything.

[weary]

thanks guys. i guess it's mostly just common sense stuff. i definitely used the confident stride like you suggested words, when i was new to NYC. i would be lost having gotten on the wrong train and sometimes even wound up in the wrong borough...but i walked like i owned the damn street! i knew i'd pulled it off when someone asked me for directions! :huge:

for the most part i should be fine on this trip b/c i will be able to blend in w/ the local population appearance-wise. i guess i'm just thinking about it more b/c it's another country and even though i pretty much speak/understand the language, i'm not 100% fluent and sometimes get flustered when i forget a word or how to conjugate a verb in the tense i'm speaking in. nothing shouts TOURIST like lapsing back into english mid-convo by accident! :surprised

[wordsmith]

thanks guys. i guess it's mostly just common sense stuff. i definitely used the confident stride like you suggested words, when i was new to NYC. i would be lost having gotten on the wrong train and sometimes even wound up in the wrong borough...but i walked like i owned the damn street! i knew i'd pulled it off when someone asked me for directions! :huge:

I remember that well from when I lived in Chicago.

[coll214]

I've done it before and will be again in two days... I've flown places and like everyone said, just look like your either waiting for someone or that you know exactly what's going on, regardless if you do or not.

I'll be taking a small road trip by myself soon and while slightly nervous, I WANT to as well; to know that I can. Even when i did my cross country with just my cousin we just made it look like we knew exactly what was going on... and when in doubt put on sever bitch face and ppl left us alone. LOL

[weary]

... and when in doubt put on sever bitch face and ppl left us alone. LOL

LOL...yup. just reminded me of another good idea: sunshades. easier to look around and not look lost.

[hello_kitty83]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/158005059X/002-4176871-9220851?v=glance&n=283155

I got the above book, A Woman Alone, a few months ago. I've only gotten around to reading a few chapters...they're interesting short essays by female travelers.

Another good book is Solo Traveler: Tales and Tips for Great Trips by Lea Lane. I read it a few months ago and I was inspired to take a trip on my own. I haven't yet, but now it sounds less scary and more fun!

[Trillian42]

I'm really glad I came accross this thread. I've been thinking about taking my first solo road trip over this holiday weekend. I've always loved to travel, but always felt I should never go alone, being female and all. But lately I've been thinking why the heck not, it's so hard to make plans with a group, sometimes I just want to go on my own and I am confident in my abilities. I'm guessing after I make my first solo trip, it will be much easier next time. :huge: I'm definently going to check out those book suggestions! and make sure I'm aware and "walk with a purpose".

[coll214]

Go for it Trillian!! I am. it's freaking everyone else out I know, but I don't care. We can trade stories afterwards :huge:

[Trillian42]

Go for it Trillian!! I am. it's freaking everyone else out I know, but I don't care. We can trade stories afterwards :huge:

I'm pretty sure my parents will be the most freaked out - but it's time I took the leap! LOL

[AshleyJordan]

I've traveled alone, twice- once in the Middle East and once in Jamaica (two very different places, each presenting very unique potential dangers!) Both times I met amazing people, and was glad to be "open" to the experience, but was very nearly robbed and assaulted in Jamaica. . . looking back, I should have been a little more weary because there is a thriving informal economy that sometimes exploits women travelers. (And the locals, too, for that matter.)

Overall, I'd say that it's all about striking a balance- you want to enjoy the place and meet the people, but you don't want to be a target, either! A woman traveling alone often is, so I guess my only advice would be to know where you're going, set boundaries, and not be "too" friendly. BTW, I've also traveled with some other girls who totally lacked common sense, and gotten lost in San Francisco's crackhead district and on the Paris metro thanks to them. In retrospect, you may be better off-- because at least you have no one else to get you in trouble/lost!

[and1grad]

A friend of mine traveled alone for the first time last year and she said it was one of the best things she's done for herself b/c it gave her confidence that she could do that sort of thing as well as built up her self-confidence all around. I'd definitely recommend it and of course, be careful. Have fun.

[wordsmith]

A friend of mine traveled alone for the first time last year and she said it was one of the best things she's done for herself b/c it gave her confidence that she could do that sort of thing as well as built up her self-confidence all around.

That's exactly the effect it had on me, when I went abroad on my own.

[Trillian42]

Well, I survived my first solo vacation. (much to the relief of one of my coworkers, who was very alarmed that I planned on visiting a state park by myself *gasp*!) I spent a couple nights in a Bed & Breakfast in Corydon, IN (first state capitol/very small town). I had fun wandering around the town and visiting the historic sites. Staying at the B&B was great as a solo traveler, because all the guests had breakfast together, and it was a chance to socialize and share our plans for the day. I also went to a State Park for the day on Sunday, but it was so awful hot that I hiked one trail and by the time I made it back to my car was so sweaty and dehydrated, I decided I'd had enough hiking! So I visited the pioneer village, then went back to the B&B to relax and read. (Something I don't often take the time to do.)

All and all it was a good time. I love seeing new places, visiting historical sites, going to parks. But I have to say given the choice to travel alone or with somebody, I would choose to go with somebody. Although given the choice to go alone or not at all, I would go it alone! :huge:

[Kitty]

That's awesome that you did the trip solo! Glad you had a great time!

[disillusion]

I just did a cross country trip by myself. Took the train from NY to AZ, drove through the desert and monument valley. I found it very peaceful and didn't worry about being alone at all, the worst part was bringing too much luggage from one person to drag around...
I also took to bus alone from NY to Wisconsion a few years ago. A few weeks later I went to FL with my ex and wished I was still traveling alone :huge:

[wordsmith]

Well, I survived my first solo vacation. (much to the relief of one of my coworkers, who was very alarmed that I planned on visiting a state park by myself *gasp*!) I spent a couple nights in a Bed & Breakfast in Corydon, IN (first state capitol/very small town). I had fun wandering around the town and visiting the historic sites. Staying at the B&B was great as a solo traveler, because all the guests had breakfast together, and it was a chance to socialize and share our plans for the day. I also went to a State Park for the day on Sunday, but it was so awful hot that I hiked one trail and by the time I made it back to my car was so sweaty and dehydrated, I decided I'd had enough hiking! So I visited the pioneer village, then went back to the B&B to relax and read. (Something I don't often take the time to do.)

All and all it was a good time. I love seeing new places, visiting historical sites, going to parks. But I have to say given the choice to travel alone or with somebody, I would choose to go with somebody. Although given the choice to go alone or not at all, I would go it alone! :huge:

This trip in particular sounds like something I would REALLY like to do, and would enjoy solo or with somebody. I go to state parks alone all the time (there are a lot where I am), but I'd like to do the B&B thing sometime for a long weekend. Just a little retreat. And I'm all about relaxing and reading.

[lighthouse4life]

for those of you who've done it...any pointers? i've done it in the states many times, and to south america with just 1 or 2 friends (also girls), but will be taking my first trip by myself soon. i was nothing but excited for the getaway from everything until the other day it occured to me to be a little scared. well, not really scared, but i guess just a little aprehensive? anyone want to share their experience/advice?
Hi weary,
I travelled alone to the Middle East when I was 19. I loved it and would definitely travel alone again to some other destination, as long as I was really prepared ahead of time.

My advice based on my trip is:
- sunglasses are your friend.
- try to dress up in a way that helps you fit in. This is very important. Of course, in some cases, you can't (if you are Caucasian in Korea or something like that). Then, you have to use the self-confidence trick :huge: .
- if you are lost, do not ask directions of a taxi driver, or anyone in the street. Go find a reputable store like a pharmacy, a clinic, a dentist's office, etc.
- When taking a taxi, know exactly where the taxi has to go (the directions) and do not let on that you have no idea how to get the destination. Taxi drivers have a way of picking up of cluelessness and will give you a much longer ride than necessary. (not all, of course, but some of them).
- do not take a taxi alone at sundown or after. Take a bus, subway, minibus, train etc, where there are other people. If you are on a minibus and suddenly everyone is off the bus, you can hop off and get another one (if the area is safe of course).

This list soudns paranoid, but hey, better safe that sorry. Besides, I'm paranoid even in cities like New York. LOL.

[J-girl]

So I think I am going to do it. I am going to travel alone. My friends are either strapped for cash, have vacations planned in august or have boyfriends.

But I am probably gonna go through one of those Contiki or Trafalgar deals. Anyone tried those?

[and1grad]

I heard Contiki is cool but they get you up really early in the morning to make all those destinations in those timeframes.

[Empressallie]

I heard Contiki is cool but they get you up really early in the morning to make all those destinations in those timeframes.

See, i like that. If i wanted to sleep I'd stay home and not spend all that money on a vacation!

[J-girl]

I heard Contiki is cool but they get you up really early in the morning to make all those destinations in those timeframes.
Thats not a bad thing because they give you a lot of downtime as well during the day. And you can always sleep en route. lol. Or during the TOUR! hahah!

But I am wondering if it is safe enough to do it on your own.

[and1grad]

My friend did it on her own and had a good time. The people are all in our age group so it ends up working out pretty nicely.

[J-girl]

Mucho Gracias! :)

[mishl982]

See, i like that. If i wanted to sleep I'd stay home and not spend all that money on a vacation!
Not if you partied hard the night before :p

[hajime]

for those of you who've done it...any pointers? i've done it in the states many times, and to south america with just 1 or 2 friends (also girls), but will be taking my first trip by myself soon. i was nothing but excited for the getaway from everything until the other day it occured to me to be a little scared. well, not really scared, but i guess just a little aprehensive? anyone want to share their experience/advice?

It's an experience not to be missed. There are a lot of positive aspects to traveling alone. For one thing, when you're in a large group, sometimes the locals won't dare approach or try to talk to you. I think it's easier to really get a closer look at the local culture and people when you're traveling with a partner or just by yourself.

Plus when I was traveling by myself, I learned a lot about discipline and taking responsibility for myself. It was a sobering feeling to be completely dependent on myself for everything- not even a roommate to look out for me.

I quite enjoyed the experience and think I've grown stronger in many ways as a result. There will definitely be unexpected setbacks, but the feeling of self-sufficiency and complete freedom (do/go wherever you want, whenever!) make up for those.

[wordsmith]

It's an experience not to be missed. There are a lot of positive aspects to traveling alone. For one thing, when you're in a large group, sometimes the locals won't dare approach or try to talk to you. I think it's easier to really get a closer look at the local culture and people when you're traveling with a partner or just by yourself.

Having travelled both domestically and abroad individualy AND as part of a musical ensemble, I did notice that when you're part of a group that's there to give a concert/show/etc., your being approached is definitely NOT hindered. Everyone wants to talk to the performers.

[J-girl]

Well I would like to socialise with the locals that my favourite part but at the same time I want my trip to be relaxing as well. A break from the daily grind if you may.

[Empressallie]

Do you have any friends abroad? I went to the czech republic by myself last year and met up with a few Czech friends. The freedom of being alone was great, but with a local connection.

[J-girl]

Do you have any friends abroad? I went to the czech republic by myself last year and met up with a few Czech friends. The freedom of being alone was great, but with a local connection.
Well I have some friends in France who were on exchange to my uni but I dont think I am going to France or England.

[aggiegrad05]

I travel alone all the time both in the States (I went to Wrigley Field by myself when they were playing the Astros and sat in the bleachers with my Bagwell jersey on and was fine) and in Europe, mostly because I had to travel somewhere for work and will take an extra day or two to see the city. I go to Finland about 2 times/year for work and try to go somewhere new each time.

Like everyone said, it's about acting confident. Always carry a map with you that has the street detail on it, but never pull it out on the street. If you see you're lost, duck into a store or a restaurant, go to the bathroom and look at the map to get your bearings. Keep one hand resting loosely on your purse strap so that no one will be able to pick it. Always keep enough cash (obviously local currency) on you to grab a taxi if you get too lost. Know your hotel name AND address in case you do need a taxi to get back. Don't carry around your camera in your hand (just take it out for the quick shot). I don't know where you're going, but I've found that it's good to have your ipod with you...helps you to blend in. Don't wear a shirt with "USA" in huge letters across the front (sounds stupid, but I've seen people do it). Learn the basics (yes, no, please, thank you) in whatever the local language is in -- it's fun, helps you to blend in and locals appreciate the effort. Don't carry your passport with you. Carry a bag that's big enough to fit a small umbrella (nothing worse than being lost in the rain and soaking wet -- been there, done that) and a book for solo meals/coffee or if you find a bench in a good spot. But don't get too apprehensive about going places/doing things and end up with your nose buried in a book the whole time you're there. Be friendly, smile and be open to new people and experiences.

I think that being a woman traveling alone as opposed to a man actually has a lot of plus sides. It's easier to meet the locals and if you do get yourself lost or in a jam, I've found that people are very willing to help if you just turn on the charm a bit.

Traveling alone can be the best experience, really. It's so liberating to leave all of your friends and things behind and just rely totally on yourself. It's a huge confidence booster post-trip too. Just be aware of your surroundings, keep everyone's advice in mind and don't be so worried about everything that you forget to have fun!

EDIT: Just realized this was an old thread. Oh well. :)

[JamieMarie]

I went on a Contiki Tour last summer and it was the best time I had in long time!!!! I went alone and in some ways I think that is the best way to go. There were a lot of others that were on the tour alone as well!! When you are alone it makes you come out of your shell and you meet a whole new group of people. I now have friends from Austraila! On my tour Americans were one of the minority groups. There were a few people from Candada, a few from Brazil and one from Ireland as well. The rest were from Austraila. Honestly, Contiki or at least my tour manager was pretty flexible. Just because on the intinerary there is a city tour, doesn't mean you have to do it. You just have to tell the tour manager you are not going, but you don't get your money back. There were a few that did that because they didn't have the interest or because they had already been to that city/town. There are other excursions that you can sign up for as well. There is definately down time. You can go and explore the different cities with a few people from your tour or go alone. I hung out with different groups according to what I was up for that day. They always kept us going!! It was a lot of fun!

I guess the thing is if you are going to do a tour is to keep an open mind and try to go with the flow! I think for the most part everyone on our tour was pretty easygoing. You have to be. You will be on the tour with the same people from 10-20 or more days. If you are someone that needs alone time I would suggest getting your own room, which might help.

Anyways, I just really loved the tour and could go on and on about it!!!! If you have any questions please send me a message!