Flaky people

[dollface]

So my friend invites me out for tonight. Says he'll call me...then I never hear from him! This is after a date canceled because he was "in a terrible mood and wouldn't be good company."

Geez Louise, I know people are flaky, but flakiness isn't good for someone who is paranoid like me and always blames herself ("I guess no one wants to hang out with me").

How do you balance being laid back with setting boundaries? For example, what should I say to the friend who said he'd call me but didn't?? I don't know if I should just let it slide or what. I don't want to be too uptight, but I also don't like it when people don't follow through as I feel it's very rude. He could have at least called me to let me know his plans had changed.

[CTGirl]

ugh, I feel the same way, and have a couple friends who do the same thing. I find that unless they have a genuine interest in changing that behavior for you, theres' nothing you can do about it, so it's best to just not count on them and keep in the back of your mind the reminder that they just might flake out on you like they usually do. Its hard not to have that paranoia, but you've gotta try and tame it to maintain your own sanity.

[DavidB]

Flakes are just part of life, you find 'em at work, you find 'em at the bar, you find 'em in your family! If you're looking to date the guy, it ain't gonna work. Guys like that will drive you up a wall, trust me, as a guy.

If you just are friends and want to keep it that way, yeah, you should say, "Hey, fella, you're not blowing me off, are you? Didn't think so, but don't let me hang, it's not cool. If we have plans, stick to the plans...'cause I can always find others to roll with."

I used to be like that 'cause I thought it was cool. Buddy of mine said, "Damn, David, when'd you become such an asshole?"

I pulled myself together.

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life