Ex's that come back..

[GoodGirl77]

My former bf of a year and I broke up in March. There has been hardly any contact since then. Occasionally, we run into each other at work, but he's always pretty cold. Just yesterday, he sent me a 'happy 4th' email. He knew my mom had planned to come for a visit over the 4th and he said that he'd 'love' to meet my mother while she's here and take her and me to dinner and a show. In three more emails today, he said he would 'love' to take me to his best friend's wedding at the end of the month if I would like to go. This seems totally bizarre to me. In all of our dating, he never sent three emails in a month, much less in a day. i'm not too sure what to make of it.. Any thoughts?? Does he just need a date for the wedding, or is he trying to get back into my life?

[wordsmith]

I smell ulterior motive.

Or him getting dumped by somebody.

[gymgurl]

I smell ulterior motive.

Or him getting dumped by somebody.


Yah, I'd take extra caution with that too. Do you know if he's been seeing someone recently? It could be an ex-booty call. But on the other hand, he could be finally realizing what he lost in you and trying to get it back...the whole 'love to take you' sounds pretty strong. I'd definitely approach it very slowly though.

[Chameleon]

Run, run, run, run, run. And did I mention Run?

This is the same uncommunicative guy that played mind games, refused to be seen at a work function with you, kept you hostage in a car instead of taking you to that party, with the super controlling mother who takes up most of his time, who most likely had something on the side while he was dating you (kicking you out of his place at a really random time).

Why is he interested in your plans and your family all of a sudden (how did he know your mom was visiting, by the way?). Why risk another psychotic episode from him?

Just out of curiousity, did he break up with you or did you break up with him?

[beeblebrox]

My mom calls those emails feelers. He's trying to gauge how you're doing while not looking like a prick. Don't trust or believe. I made the mistake twice getting back together with exes, not a good idea. You'll get burned only in different ways by them. My most recent ex from a couple of years ago broke up with me and it wasn't until recently that I found out why through his wedding website that he was dating someone else and he blamed a lot of stuff on me and treated me like crap. Don't get back together with that guy, not good.

[winneythepooh7]

Ignore it. Don't repeat this dangerous cycle.

[GoodGirl77]

Run, run, run, run, run. And did I mention Run?

Why is he interested in your plans and your family all of a sudden (how did he know your mom was visiting, by the way?). Why risk another psychotic episode from him?

Just out of curiousity, did he break up with you or did you break up with him?

My mom's been planning to come out over the 4th for months. So, I guess he remembered from me telling him months ago.

As for who broke up with who - I think he could sense my pulling back. The day I was about to bring it up he brought up a change in me and said he thought we should take a break for a month. I think he wanted to be the first to say something. After the month, he told me he just didn't know how he felt about me.

[Chameleon]

Run. Run run run run run.

Be the first to say "Leave me alone, dorkwad!". I don't know what's come over him but when an emotionally withholding control freak like your ex goes from ice cold to geyser, run. I don't think anything good can come of getting back together with him. Didn't he start off real strong when your relationship started, "I love yous" within a couple dates? (Why do I remember all of this?!)You got off the crazy train long ago (even though he'd like to believe that he kicked you off), don't get back on.

[Starsailor]

My ex of 3-4 years contacted me earlier this year after a year of no contact. I couldn't really work out why he was getting in touch. I mean, the ideas of wanting to get back together, perhaps genuinely wanting to be friends, simply being lonely, or honest curiosity about what I've been up to came to mind...and all were fully valid possibilities...but I still didn't get it. I drove myself crazy for about 2 months thinking "should I or shouldn't I respond??" Finally, I just spoke to him. It was about what was best for me, not giving into him, and I needed to get it over with. I did, and everything's good. He's not in contact and I expect it to stay that way from now on.

[enigma]

My most recent ex contacted me recently too. He wanted to see how I was doing, and wanted to see if we could get together sometime. I said I was free during the week and he said he only wanted to see me on the weekend... :rolleyes:

[coll214]

Yah, I'd take extra caution with that too. Do you know if he's been seeing someone recently? It could be an ex-booty call. But on the other hand, he could be finally realizing what he lost in you and trying to get it back...the whole 'love to take you' sounds pretty strong. I'd definitely approach it very slowly though.
Ditto to what she said. Mine did the same thing recently and honestly right now I need to decide if I want to deal with his crap.

[GoodGirl77]

My most recent ex contacted me recently too. He wanted to see how I was doing, and wanted to see if we could get together sometime. I said I was free during the week and he said he only wanted to see me on the weekend... :rolleyes:

They must all be the same. My mom wanted to meet him to see if he was as horrible as she thought, so it was planned dinner tonite at 6. He emailed this morning to say that his mother now needs him to be at a family gathering tonite and this weekend would be better for him, but sorry for the change of plans. Confirmed my mother's feelings...

[wordsmith]

My most recent ex contacted me recently too. He wanted to see how I was doing, and wanted to see if we could get together sometime. I said I was free during the week and he said he only wanted to see me on the weekend... :rolleyes:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Rock on, Mr. Transparent!

[GoodGirl77]

They must all be the same. My mom wanted to meet him to see if he was as horrible as she thought, so it was planned dinner tonite at 6. He emailed this morning to say that his mother now needs him to be at a family gathering tonite and this weekend would be better for him, but sorry for the change of plans. Confirmed my mother's feelings...

The three of us ended up havind dinner on monday. It was actually rather pleasant, surprisingly. But, after last nite, I think it was all a plan of his. He dropped by last nite, asked if we could talk a little and watch some tv. After the show was over, he said he hoped we could hang out again, hugged me and then started kissing me and getting quite aggressive. I think that was what he wanted all along and why he came back into my life. When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he said that i looked like someone he wanted to do this with last nite, that I was comfortable. How do some guys think they can treat women like they're objects to be taken on and off the shelf? Sorry for the rant. Dont' think I'm ever going to trust enough to date again.

[wordsmith]

When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he said that i looked like someone he wanted to do this with last nite, that I was comfortable.

Wow. Nice.