Is it possible for a dumper to fall back in love with a dumpee?

[fatfaso]

When a dumper breaks up with somebody because they "don't feel the same way" anymore, but its during a time of great stress during their life, and dumper and dumpee were each other's first loves, is it possible that the dumper can realize they actually DO still love the dumpee and want to get back together?

Part of me feels like that when a person dumps their loved one, it is usually final, even if they still love the dumpee. I think it would be hard to get back together again because the dumper and dumpee might be apart for a significant amount of time and even if the dumper regrets breaking up with the dumpee, they might just have happy memories of their past love with the dumpee, but not be in love with the dumpee any longer. After all, how can somebody fall back in love with somebody when they aren't spending time together for a long period of time? Do past loves just spontaniously fall back in love with each other after a break up that has lasted 6 months or longer? How can that possibly be?

Some people say that sometimes the dumper just needs to deal with other things in their life, but after they deal with them, they might realize that their life is incomplete without the dumpee, and then they are ready to be in a relationship with that person again. Do you think this happens?

What are your guys' thoughts?

[wordsmith]

Usually, when somebody dumps you, they're not doing it on a whim, they've given it a great deal of thought, and though it's news to you, they've already come to terms with how they're feeling, over the course of God knows how long. Nobody gets up in the a.m. and says, "Think I'll dump my S.O." It's usually something they're pretty solid on.

That being said, I think it's almost always a done deal.

[SpaceMonkey]

God I hope so.

[biodork]

I don't think it's common, because I agree that usually when you get dumped it's because the dumper doesn't want to be with the dumpee anymore. I think it's possible though, my bf told me he didn't realize how much he cared about me until after he'd broken up with me. Luckily he was able to tell me a year and a half later (and I was able to forgive him) and we have been together since. I think my bf would fall into the category of "needed to figure out things in his life before he was ready to be with me." But I do realize that something like what happened to me is probably rare.

[Kitty]

Some people say that sometimes the dumper just needs to deal with other things in their life, but after they deal with them, they might realize that their life is incomplete without the dumpee, and then they are ready to be in a relationship with that person again. Do you think this happens?


hmm..I think if this is the case, then the timing wasn't right for the relationship. And, really, I don't think that situation is in ANY way fair to the person who was dumped and they shouldn't put themselves back in that situation.

I agree, when you've been dumped, its a done deal. Don't look back.

[gymgurl]

I would say yes. I broke up with my last boyfriend because he moved and I was not at the right time in my life to make a decision to move there with him. I was incredibly stressed over work and figuring my own life out at that point. Once things got more in order in those situations (a few months later), I realized how much I missed him and want him back really bad (still working on getting over this...think I'm almost there). I tried to get back together but I dont' think he's intersted unfortunately so now it's time for me to try and move on.

I would definintely say it's possible though, of course the type of situation you are in can play a big difference.