Job Search: Feeling Embarassed and Hurt -- Does anyone relate??? Help!!!

[Nehalem58]

I spent four years getting a bachelors degree at a highly ranked university (and a business minor from one of the top 25 business schools in the nation), two years getting a master's degree at a highly ranked university and department, and six years in the National Guard as an "internship." I majored in liberal arts geography (its more than memorizing states and capitals). I never was good at math and never wanted to be an accountant, teacher, nurse, or lawyer like my friends. I thought that despite this and given my background, I would still be able to find a relativley decent job paying 40K a year. I was wrong. I cannot for the LIFE of me find a job that pays more than $25,000 a year. I am qualified for hundreds of jobs, all the up to the part that says "2-3 years experience required."

I am just embarassed as all hell that I cannot find a "grown-up" job. It just aches to tell everyone who asks that I am working at a hotel front desk and absolutley hate it and cannot find anything better. Its especially embarassing to talk to my parents about this because they thought I would be like everyone else and get a decent job right out of college. They kind of look down on me for not being smart enough to set myself up for a job post college.

I am also extremely hurt. I worked SO HARD for six years, and I am getting nothing from it. I got a 3.7 GPA as an undergrad, that was not easy, as well as a 3.9 in grad school, all the while having my hands tied behind my back with the national guard. I STILL graduated undergrad in 3.5 years and got my masters in 2 years. I worked so hard, and its not paying off, none of it. I honestly did NOT have any more time or energy to do interships or have extra jobs, my classes and the national guard sucked the living life out of me. I did as much as I possibly could, (and even went nuts doing it) and now I am told by everyone I didn't do enough, "I didn't do an intership and have the right job experience." I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO THAT!!! I dont know about your college experiences, but I worked hard for good grades and worried everyday about being sent to Iraq. I just feel hurt because I worked so hard for so long, pushed myself beyond my limits and all I can get for it is work at a hotel front desk where both the employees and guests treat me like garbage.

I am so embarassed about not being able to find a decent job like so many people I know, and I am hurt that I worked so hard for nothing.

[wordsmith]

I wasn't in the national guard, but I absolutely busted my ass on my schooling, pushed myself incredibly hard, and didn't get any real breaks, so I can somewhat sympathize. I had to start from ground level with my job, finding a place that would take me with no experience (and, yeah, it had to be someplace small, and someplace in the middle of nowhere, and not someplace with any cache to speak of or name recognition). And I was super proud of my scholastic accomplishments and still am. But my job pays very little (less than the 25K you referenced, in fact). I guess I could look at it and say that I'm hurt I worked so hard to "only" make that much...but the truth is, it's a very demanding job, and certainly one that I'd call a "grown up" job.

There isn't any shame in doing what job you have to do to make things work for you. There isn't any shamein doing something "for now," with the thought to move on to other things when it works out. Lots of people are underemployed for their educational level, or are paying their dues at totem pole bottoms. It's not an uncommon thing...the people who are able to sidestep these roles are the exception, not the rule.

[HIKU]

getting your foot in the door is the first step, who care if you dont have experience... i'm assuming your very intlnt so.... fluff up your resume... I personally vouch for my friends who wants "work experience"...

[PenforPrez]

I am just embarassed as all hell that I cannot find a "grown-up" job. It just aches to tell everyone who asks that I am working at a hotel front desk and absolutley hate it and cannot find anything better. Its especially embarassing to talk to my parents about this because they thought I would be like everyone else and get a decent job right out of college. They kind of look down on me for not being smart enough to set myself up for a job post college.

That's me too. I'm four years out of school, and I'm having trouble getting any job at all. I can't make any career headway at all, and I'm ashamed of that myself.

I'm especially offended when family members will say: "You're so brilliant, why can't you do it?" I've got a former professor telling me this right now, too. I know they mean well, but that bugs me. What am I supposed to do? Create a job out of the blue?!

I've never been in the National Guard either, but I've fought a daily battle with depression and near-constant exhaustion most of my life. That's hard as hell, too. I couldn't get an intership, either; my department didn't offer them. They expected all of us to either teach or go to grad school. I'm clueless, which is the other category.

So, yeah, same feeling here. Don't feel bad. :)

Paul

[Nehalem58]

Yeah, you can also add that I batteld depression my entire college career and still succeded in my eyes. I grew up with overweight depressed parents, so I was at a disadvantage before I even started and didnt even realize it until I was in grad school. I have overcome the depression through counseling ect., but it still can't make up for starting college with my head all messed up. I was also totally screwed over by the national guard. They cheated me out of my freshmen year of college. They told me that I would finish my training and be back in time for college. Yeah. Right. I missed my fall semsester of freshmen year, which I had been looking forward to my ENTIRE life, and had to adjust. Everyone else my age had already moved on and I felt totally out of place and alone. I was trying to end up with a white collar job with blue collar parents. That makes it all the harder. They grew up when you could make a living with a blue collar job. But you can't anymore. And they dont seem to understand that.

[PenforPrez]

Same thing with my father, except my father thinks mental illness is fake. I fought depression for 15 years and never could get it properly treated until three months ago. Now I'm still out of work and can't afford it. That figures. :googly:

[Jman06]

Heres the problem. It doesnt really matter where u went to college or what your gpa was. My ex had a 3.6 gpa and couldnt find a job. I mean it happens to a lot of people out of college these days so don't feel too sorry for yourself.

The reason employers don't really care about your school or gpa is because you learn everything about your job at your job. So your gpa just tells them that you might learn stuff easier than others but thats all. The reason every job u see requires 2-3 years experience is because your probably looking on online for jobs and employers have to pay to advertise jobs and if there going to pay there going to want someone with experience so they don't have to train them.

So most new grads including my ex has to get entry level jobs through people they know or temping. Or start at the bottom of a good company doing BS work and then hope they like u and offer u a entry level job.

And you can still get an internship after college. A friend of mine is trying to do this. Not having time to get one in college is not an excuse. Experience is more important than a super high gpa or graduating on time.

[leoisillon]

Heres the problem. It doesnt really matter where u went to college or what your gpa was. My ex had a 3.6 gpa and couldnt find a job. I mean it happens to a lot of people out of college these days so don't feel too sorry for yourself.

The reason employers don't really care about your school or gpa is because you learn everything about your job at your job. So your gpa just tells them that you might learn stuff easier than others but thats all. The reason every job u see requires 2-3 years experience is because your probably looking on online for jobs and employers have to pay to advertise jobs and if there going to pay there going to want someone with experience so they don't have to train them.

So most new grads including my ex has to get entry level jobs through people they know or temping. Or start at the bottom of a good company doing BS work and then hope they like u and offer u a entry level job.

And you can still get an internship after college. A friend of mine is trying to do this. Not having time to get one in college is not an excuse. Experience is more important than a super high gpa or graduating on time.


Well said.

[Jman06]

And another thing to note about internships is that many people have to do them UNPAID to get experience. So think about this...they could pay someone with no experience to work or just not pay an intern to do the same work. Thats your value to a employer if u don't have any experience. Literally nothing because of the competition for UNPAID internships.

[PenforPrez]

So most new grads including my ex has to get entry level jobs through people they know or temping. Or start at the bottom of a good company doing BS work and then hope they like u and offer u a entry level job.


So what about those of us like myself who are unable to accomplish any of the above? Are we just screwed?

[Jersey_Steve]

You already did 6 years in the Guard, why didn't you stay in? If you did that much time, you couldn't have hated it THAT much.

If you were in the ANG and in college, you could have done Green to Gold and come out a 2nd Lt.

Though I'm curious, I've never heard of anyone doing an internship in a branch of the military. Even if you were to do some sort of clerical/administrative work, you would have to be enlisted.

Could you tell me what you did in the Guard? You've roused my curiousity.

[Jman06]

So what about those of us like myself who are unable to accomplish any of the above? Are we just screwed?


Sort of. I mean a lot of life and finding jobs is just random luck. I know sales jobs are easy to get your foot in the door. But sales isnt for everyone. I think u should be able to find some temp jobs. You also need to tell everyone u know that you are looking for a job. Friends, relatives, etc and eventually you might luck out and get a lead.

[PenforPrez]

Sort of. I mean a lot of life and finding jobs is just random luck. I know sales jobs are easy to get your foot in the door. But sales isnt for everyone.

Gone broke twice doing sales. Never again.

I think u should be able to find some temp jobs. You also need to tell everyone u know that you are looking for a job. Friends, relatives, etc and eventually you might luck out and get a lead.

I've done a thread on here on my lack of success at finding temp jobs. They just make their assumptions about me and send me on my way.

I've done the whole networking thing. Told everybody I need job. And told them. And told them. Net result in FOUR YEARS: Nothing.

Networking only works when the people you talk to actually get back in touch with you. Which has been my biggest problem up to now. Just one loud busy signal is all I get. :googly:

Paul

[Jman06]

Hmmm. We'll like I said u need to kind of get lucky sometimes. I have not met u so its hard to say much more but a lot has to do with how you project yourself to people. If u seem depressed and unconfident it turns people off. I'm not saying your like that but its possible considering your posting on a QLC board.

You could also look outside your city. Try to learn a trade?

[Nehalem58]

I'ts always easy for people who have jobs to give advice about getting them. Just like with relationships.

I am not asking for advice here. I already know what to do in finding a job. I do have a master's degree after all, I am stupid. You guys are assuming things without even understanding what I am talking about. I never liked the national guard, I dont want anything to do with it anymore. I am currently looking for a job and I am smart enought to know that the internt is not where you find them. I don't need job search advice.

I am just seeing if anyone else has gone through or is going through the post graduation woes. As in, you thought that you were pretty well prepared to get into an industry, in my case tourism, only to find out that it isnt exactly what you thought it would be and all of the key people in the industry you interviewed in college (I massively networked it in the entire metro area) tried to be nice instead of telling you the hard reality of it all. Networking didnt do me any good. There just were no jobs, and of the few that were open, it was too competative to get in.

Another thing, not everybody knows what they want to do when they are 19 years old. How can you find "internships" and "expierience" when you don't even know what you want to do? I didn't figure out what I wanted to do until I was 24 years old, and I graduated college and found out that the tourism industry was so competative I had no chance in getting a professional job, even if I had internships and job experience (I was told this by the top marketing guy for the greater Minneapolis convention and visitors bureau).

I just want to see if any of you went through this. It's embarassing and kinda hurts that you worked so hard for something and you didn't get where you wanted to go. In three months this will all be behind me. But right now its the reality of my life.

[Nehalem58]

It's just frustrating I guess. And it hits you all at once like a ton of bricks.

[wordsmith]

Where did you go to school?

[jxu66]

Here is another idea. If you cannot find a job in your area, you should prepare to move. Sometimes, the job market at one place is so bad for a particular field that it is worth to move to another state. This is speaking from personal experience.

[CuranderaC]

Here is another idea. If you cannot find a job in your area, you should prepare to move. Sometimes, the job market at one place is so bad for a particular field that it is worth to move to another state. This is speaking from personal experience.


Yeah, why don't you scope out the opportunities in Orlando, NYC, LA, Las Vegas? Those towns are big on tourism.

[Nehalem58]

I lived in Phoenix for the last two years, I know what you're talking about.

[Jedi of Zen]

I'm not gonna get into my own story, but I know how it feels to pour so much of your heart and soul into doing well at school - and to be hailed and admired by professors and other students alike on how awesome you're doing - and then, when the time is ripe, only to be told that you still haven't done enough. Now I'm sure the fact remains that to some employers out there, a superior academic background simply "doesn't matter", but I for one tend to question the managerial and intellectual capacity of such individuals - unless of course the company in question happens to have two big golden arches on the sign in the parking lot; in which case, no, I suppose GPA indeed really doesn't matter.

[PenforPrez]

I've long said employers don't know what they want. The longer I go, the more convinced I am of that. In fact, I have a flyer from a career counselor who said just that and addressed the issue. It's entropy on a frightening scale.

Paul

[gysberger4]

I completely know what you are going through. I currently work for the government in a job that doesn't even require a college degree, let alone the Master's degree in Geography/Climatology that I have; and I work at this job because it was the only job I could get.

The way the government works is that they try to eliminate as many people as possible at the beginning, instead of looking at the best people for the job. They put your resume through a computer program and if you don't have enough of the specific words that they want to see in your resume, then you are thrown out of the pile with no shot at all. So now here I sit, with my six years of college education and two degrees behind me, and am not even getting a chance at the jobs I really want because I lack the government's definition of 3-5 years experience or one chemistry, physics, math, etc. course in college, which throws me out of the pile from the get-go. I feel like no matter what qualifications I have they will never be enough and I am afraid that I won't ever be able to get a job in the field that I want because I lack the experience in that particular field, either that or a basic 100 level college class that won't affect my job skills whatsoever.

[Nehalem58]

I understand what you are going through. Getting a job with the government can be a real headache. And you can't just "start from the bottom" because you are apply for jobs that are already AT the bottom!

[g8ergal83]

I have a degree that I worked my ass off for, too. I have a job that will get me no where, too. I graduated with my bachelors in 2004, at 20 years old. I started my first job at a local tv station that may and within about 4 months I was the senior person. No prospective employers believe that and my former boss won't tell them because he hired this guy named "Wiz" (if you've heard of him, PLEASE tell me you hate him too) who sucked the life out of everything the station had and turned it into "Wiz" station. He didn't even work there. He wasnt even on the payroll. Everyone hated him, except the manager, who didn't know a damn thing about television. So instead of titling me "Production Manager" he gave it to this guy Wiz, saying that titles dont mean anything anyway. I've had many interviews in the past 3 years, all of which I was prepared for and had a demo reel to show them, etc. Now i'm working a job that a todler could do and I hate (I really mean HATE) this job. I know i'm a woman in a mans profession, but Jesus Christ. I know what I'm talking about! I know what I'm doing! I can do what I say I can do! Why havent I been hired?!?!?!?

[Nehalem58]

Because real wages have not risen in over ten years and middle management has more or less been virtually wiped out during the past 15 years...making middle class employment very difficult and impossibly competative. I am in the same boat you are.