Anyone feel like this?

[TosaGirl]

I am wondering if anyone else feels like I do. I got my Masters Degree thinking that after I got this wonderful degree my life would "fall into place". I am 25 years old, I have now been out of school for a year and a half, I am not doing what I went to school for. I have known what I wanted to do since I was in 8th grade.

In relationships, well thats a whole different story. I have written about how I am 25 and have never had a boyfriend, and feel like I am such a loser because of it. I know thats not true. When I was in college I was always so popular, had lots of friends, knew everyone. Then I graduated and I don't know many people. Live in a new city, don't know how to meet people. I am friends with my co-workers but I want my own friends, my own life.

To top all this off, I am not someone who is in great shape, in fact, as some say, I am "well endowded". I have been feeling bad about my body, and trying to not do this. I feel like I am going into a depression, but I refuse to allow it.

I am wondering if the choices I have made in my life are the right choices. I wonder what the wait is for me to meet someone suitable for me? Even if he is not "Mr. Right", just someone good enough for a few dates.

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like people on here can somehow help me, steer me in the right direction...

T

[crazy-girl]

I read in some horrible internet e-mail forward that some of the most interesting people still don't know what they want to do when they are 40 years old. I freak out about my career choices too but when you get right down to it---that's not a permanent thing. It might take a while but in time it will work out----sometimes the road trip to your dream job isn't the most fun though.

As for your body---I can hear ya on that one. I am now in my 3rd week of non-smoking after chaining since I was in college (early college) I never worked out---ate whatever I wanted to and couldn't walk up the stairs at work if I needed to. So, I decided to change. I quit smoking---i'm taking yoga and I've been trying to watch what I eat for a year.

The most important thing to remember is nothing is permanent. That can be a good thing. You have the power to make a change in whatever you want to change. It won't be overnight but only you can make it happen.

I know it sounds sappy and very Oprah but if you don't like something in your life---fix it.

[clueless]

I feel the same way about some ofthe things you discussed. One good thing is that I lost 25 pounds on weight watchers, so I am less concerned about my weight now. I got my law degree in May and sit at work every day thinking, "Is this what I have worked so hard for?" My debt is so high that I cant imagine ever paying it off. Now I wonder if being an attorney is really what I want to do... only problem is nothing else really interests me either!!

[TosaGirl]

Thank you for the encouragement /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif Actually, I am trying to change my life and myself. I am working on getting a breast reduction (for medical reasons, not just personal/cosmetic), and I am trying to eat better so I can lose weight. I can not join something like weight watchers as I do not have the money to spend on that kind of thing, so I need to do it from within.

As for the job, I continue to look and try to make the best out of the job from day to day. I dont mind my job now, its just not what I saw myself doing after obtaining my degree, so I will be changing my vision around to fit what I am able to do.

Thanks /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[westie1]

When I read your message-I felt like I was reading something I wrote! Geez dont feel bad!
Everything in my life is a complete 180 from what I thought it would be. The girls that WERE my best friends for most of my life -there were 4 of us-we have all grown apart/some have just turned b****y and psycho!
So-for the last 2 years-I've had no real close girl friends. I've been married for 3 years to a great guy-but he doesnt understand it all.
On top of that-I've gained 40 pounds since high school-and I feel like the michelin man,lol.
I've tried weight watchers(only to gain it back)-I know the only way I will get back to a healthy weight is if I exercise every day-and I hate exercising!(its so boring!grr!)
On top of this-I'm working at a salon near my hometown-so I see plenty of people that I graduated with-and of course-they havent seen me since I weight 115-so they all say-oh you look so different!(thank you)
I'm back in school-finishing up my degree in graphic design and photography-and I was hoping that being back in school-I would meet some new people,make new friends...but everyone is 18-and all they do is drink(yawnnnn)
I just get to feeling soo hopeless-when will this all change??


Thanks for letting me vent...

westie1

[sunbear]

Hi Westie,
I can see where you're coming from with you r high school friends. I'm drifting apart from my highschool friends and of course next year is my 10 yr reunion- yay!
:rolleyes:
I was the only one in my group that pursued college and a career, they're all married with children. I'm not ready for that, I'm in a relationship but not married yet. Anyways, the way they've played the cards since I left home is that I know nothing about what they're going through, I know they have it tough and their self esteems are dragging. One of my ex- best friend slandered me to another one and that's when I threw in the towel on them both, esp. when the other's husband verbally knocked me out when I called her up. And I dread going to my hometown, the first thing that happens is that someone knocks me over about some "juicy" gossip about who got divorced with five kids, who gained weight, etc. of course with a screaming child on their shoulder. Nobody talks about careers, interest, or noone has even congradulated me about getting through school.
The only way I've managed socially is by hanging out with friends or aquaintences through school or work. I know just because you're married doesn't make you a different person. Just get through school and grit your teeth, graphics design is a good field. I think it's going to move from there, you'll start being around people who will be much more like your peers.

[Westie1]

The whole mess with my ex-friends really blew me away!
I wish I would've had a little warning about how crappy friends get in your 20's ,so I would've been a little more prepared!
I'm sorry you've gone through that crap too Sunbear.
I wish I knew when things will start to change-it's taking it's own sweet time,lol.

Oh yeah-and you better believe I wont go near that 10 year reunion either. I suppose all of the former 'friends' will be there-and I'll feel like I'm in front of the firing squad.

If you decide to go-I give you BIG BIG kudos for being that tough and brave. :)

Keep in touch-

westie1

[sunbear]

Westie,
I've gone through crap, but I'm still a good person and I'm still happy with the choices I've made.
I think you have to convince yourself of that. It's tough to keep itin that perspective.
I've learned a lot about people when I went away to college that my high school friends do not realize, and in a way they have been so transparent to me. The one that slandered me is married- basically because she needed a father for her kid. She told me that I was the lucky one because "I didn't have to come home to the same face every night". I have much higher hopes for my marrage. Also, the same couple have three kids now
and together make $20/hr, when he works- when I last spoke with her he couldn't keep a job. I KNOW how miserable she is and how tough she has it. I have it tough as well, but I'm at least in a position where I don't have to lie about someone to feel better about myself.
The best advice I heard before I went away to school is to "only be around the people who will make you(or let you) feel good about yourself". Even if your social circle is small, who are you supposed to apologize to? Going to school is worth it, my sis works in your field- she loves going to work and makes good money. She doesn't even have her degree yet- she even knows that she has it good compared to most people our age.
I can't tell you how long it's going to take, except that you're on your way there. Hang in there-



-Never compromise yourself, you're all you've got. Janis Joplin_