When your problem is yourself

[need2startover]

I had an experience with my soon to be ex roomate today that made me question some things about myself and im relating very well to a line of a matchbox20 song that goes," I cant make myself go away". It seems to be a pattern in my life that people say I look angry or unhappy all the time, even when I dont feel that way. Since Ive been in DC ive lived in two places b/c I was in an internship program and we only had housing till a certain point and then I got a job so I found another place. in the first place one of my roomates asked a coworker of mine if she thought I was wierd because Im never happy. IN the second place my roomate got mad at me because I didnt smile a lot and she said I always am on the phone and look unhappy. Shes asked me whats wrong with me and stuff like that.. There are things about her such as shes one of those daddy does everything for me kinda people that I wanna slap upside the head but still. Ive been very nice to her and accomodating of her cat which im allergic to being here and always giving her the closest parking space dumb shit like that that she stresses she deserves b/c shes the "landlord" even though daddy owns it and she pays rent. whatevet, anyway.. From my knowledge people say the things about me being unhappy b/c im always on the phone with my family or fiance. I miss my fiance very much and my dad's health is not the best right now. So yes I wasn't happy and havent been but I dont really understand what I am doing that turns people off from me so much. Is it because I am so focused on things outside of where I live (this wont really matter as of Saturday b/c Im leaving DC but still.. ) I dont know i frustrates me b/c I dont see how im rubbing people the wrong way and I want to change that if its me but that line of distinction is very blurry for me right now.. I understand that there's a lot left out in this post to be able to really understan whats going through my head right now but I needed to vent.

[PenforPrez]

I don't see you standing in your own way. You're just having trouble with a lot of serious concerns. I'm having a hard time seeing how people could think you to be unhappy because you're always on the phone. Seems to me that would be a good thing; talking on the phone, keeping social contact, etc.

You can't help being stressed out; I worry about my father at his age (nearly 80), so I know that concern. People just tend to turn off depressed people; I've seen that in my own experience.

The best thing you can do is take care of yourself; go out and do things you enjoy when you can. Dress nice lots; do little things to boost your confidence. You'll feel better and people will notice that. Little things add up to big things. :)

Paul

[tina1979]

I don't know if you have always been like that or if its simply because you are stressed right now.

I, however, have always had that look about me. I showed a picture to a friend yesterday of me and my daughter and she looked at it and said "oh! you're smiling". Thats just me. I have always had a serious look about me. If I knew how to play poker I'd probably be really good at it.

Another friend tells me I have an emotionless face. She says she can never really tell when I am happy pr sad, because I always look the same.

It kinda bothers me, but they are right. I can't fault them for telling me the truth. You'd probably think I hated your guts unless you got to know me. I don't smile and I don't talk alot. Then you would know, thats just me... Don't get me wrong, its not like I never smile or laugh or talk. Hell! Once you get to me and I have a few drinks I run my mouth.

For the most part though, I just take advantage of the fact that I have a good poker face. I don't let people se when they have hurt me, until I am ready to let them know. Stupid stuff like that. Its advantageous, sometimes.

[winneythepooh7]

I think for one, that is just one of the problems with having a roommate. Plus it is also hard not to let things like when someone's parent pays their way constantly, bother you, if you are not in a similar boat. It's just human nature not to see the negative sides in another person's life.

[CityGal]

Have you told others what is going on in your life? Maybe that will help. If you have then they should understand that it is not all cheese and crackers. If you feel like you are giving off a bad vibe, then I guess try to smile more. Although I don't know but I have often been told that I always have this serious, mean look to my face, but then when I smile they always think I am up to no good...apparently I have a devilish smile. ha. So like WTF. Anyway...people are not always going to have a postive attitude all the time. The things that are happening in your life right now are serious things and people should understand that it is not a picnic for you.

[wordsmith]

People have always told me I'm enigmatic and don't smile enough. It's not that I'm not happy, it's that I didn't get orthodonture when I was a little kid because my parents couldn't afford it, and though my teeth have pretty much corrected themselves by this point, when I was a kid, I was self conscious and didn't like showing my teeth. So I kept a guarded, close mouthed "Mona Lisa" smile, and now it's just habit.