weekends

[RaeRae]

How do you spend your weekends? I'm 10 hours from home and only know a few people, who I really don't think I click with that much. So what do you do with all this time? I'm considering getting a second job just to get out of the house some. Seriously, all I've done today was get groceries, eat pretty much all of them because I was so bored, and watch crappy tv.

It makes me feel so worthless and depressed, just sitting around and being lonely.

[Krissy2006]

I understand how you feel, except I'm the one who isolates myself. I like my down time don't get me wrong, but sometimes you just wanna let lose. Do you think you could hang out with the few ppl you do know, and just think of it as better than being home alone?.. or m/b there is something you can do like a hobbie you enjoy?? For goodness sake though don't get another job haha, that would just be torture, unless you really enjoy wha tyou do :)

[RaeRae]

I guess what's weird is that typically, like you, I isolate myself. I guess it made me feel good just knowing that there were people around I could hang out with if I needed to, but I was pretty notorious for staying in on weekends.

I think I just, right now, don't feel very comfortable spending time with myself, for some reason. I need to relearn how to spend quality time with myself and not hate that time.

[GoogleGirl]

That would be me all the time. When I try to see what other people are doing, the response is either nothing or they are busy with other things. I'm starting to feel quite depressed about always being alone. I stay with my mom on the weekends just to have someone to talk to, but she seems to have the same problem as me. I don't really have many friends. One of my closest friends goes home on the weekends so that sucks for me. And my boyfriend is in another state. He lived with me for a while and so we would occupy each other, but now he has a roommate and has new friends. I'm still stuck...I know EXACTLY how you feel.. :googly:

[LaFille]

home improvements! you feel so productive after just working a couple of hours on painting a room or a piece of furniture or something...

[wordsmith]

I work so many weekends, I actually LOVE to just chill when I have one off.

I also am not averse to going and doing things solo...but that takes practice to get comfortable with.

[lonestar]

I am trying to see if I can get a short-term pizza delivery job on top of my regular job (maybe delivering on weekend nights or even weeknights after working hours) so that I can make a bit more money to put into my car...

Also, I spend a lot of time on the comp on weekends because that's when I do most of my web design work...tomarrow for the holiday I would like to go to Lake Travis though...

[Deni81]

I know the feeling. I tend to have very low-key weekends. I spend time with family, sister and hubby or catch up on cleaning, errands etc.

I would love to go sometimes to a bar or dancing, but I don't have anyone who interested in that.

[capella]

I am pretty bored out of my mind this weekend. But I did work something like 47 days in a row so not working is a strange feeling right now. And the cash reserves are a little low so it's not like I can go live it up. And I live in bumpkinville. Most people around here think drinking a case of Budweiser and shooting at the cans is a GREAT night of fun. :eek:

I was having this convo earlier with the hubby. I think sometimes you are just at a point where there aren't a lot of people around who fit the bill. I could find someone to go hang out at joe schmoe bars with, or go to uber yuppity wine bars with... but what I really want is just a couple of people, in the same stage of life as me (not that I have anything against single people, it just seems singles don't want to hang out with someone who isn't...), which means they are in a serious relationship or married, no kids, 25-35ish, who don't feel the need to be all pretentious and "urban chic" or something. Is there anything wrong with a BBQ, or chilling out to a movie, or game night or something? I happen to like suburbia. I am just a little too young to feel that way apparently. :rolleyes:

All my friends are downtown people. I'm not all that downtown-y. But I'm not Budweiser Can Shooter-y either. :( Blah. It's something I've noticed that goes in circles. Sometimes you have more people to connect with than other times. And I have so little free time available that I won't spend it doing something I don't really want to be doing. Sometimes that can be isolating when you're not up for what everyone else is. I'm sort of over the crowd mentality. It's just another adjustment to grown up life.

[Deni81]

Amy, you brought up a good point. The singles vs. married debate. I have hung out with you and you are NOT the smug married female type. The few girlfriends I have left here, are that way. Everything is "we did this, we liked that movie". It's like they have to remind me that yes, I am married and oh so happy.

I am 25 and single. And I'm actually ok with it. I wouldn't mind hanging out with married people, as long as the women don't try to make me feel bad about my single status. It's just hard to find cool, independent married women to befriend.

[capella]

Amy, you brought up a good point. The singles vs. married debate. I have hung out with you and you are NOT the smug married female type. The few girlfriends I have left here, are that way. Everything is "we did this, we liked that movie". It's like they have to remind me that yes, I am married and oh so happy.

I am 25 and single. And I'm actually ok with it. I wouldn't mind hanging out with married people, as long as the women don't try to make me feel bad about my single status. It's just hard to find cool, independent married women to befriend.
LOL! I am not "girly" in general, this is true. I, too, have friends who are like OOH, look at this thing WE'RE doing. WE just had the best time, blah ditty, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, I got my house clean this weekend, Ti HEE! :googly: I also think part of my particular issue is where I live. I realize it's not fun to drive 40 minutes to the boonies for BBQ and board games. :rolleyes: None of my other downtown-y girlfriends are really into coming up here. And there is only so much of the Eola Wine Bar I can take. :razz:

[PenforPrez]

Being the nerd by default that I am, I work as many quiz bowl tournaments on Saturdays as I can get; I work 15 to 20 tournaments a year. Just reading questions and advising on problems and promoting the questions I help write. It's a lot of fun to me.

Sundays are always a problem. I usually shut out the world too, most Sundays. I was hoping that working weekends on this new job would help Sunday loneliness; it hasn't at all. :(

(not that I have anything against single people, it just seems singles don't want to hang out with someone who isn't...)


I, in my singleness, have found the OPPOSITE to be true. It's the couples who don't want a single, non-attached third-wheel friend tagging along. That's why I have no friends to hang out with; nearly all of them are attached. I wonder if it's looking at the same issue from a different point of view.

Paul

[capella]

I, in my singleness, have found the OPPOSITE to be true. It's the couples who don't want a single, non-attached third-wheel friend tagging along. That's why I have no friends to hang out with; nearly all of them are attached. I wonder if it's looking at the same issue from a different point of view.

Paul
I have a few single friends and it seems like I can't really relate to most of them (not all, Deni!!). But mostly there is a friction there and I get the feeling they are uncomfortable. I also am not about to go out with them to pick up guys. My husband might have a tiny problem with that. :rolleyes: So there is a little bit of disconnect there. It could just be a perception thing though. Perhaps it's just not discussed enough there.

And being in your mid-20's means that it's pretty mixed up still. There are a lot of singles and a lot of couples. I imagine the older you get the more likely to be paired off people are and this becomes less of an issue. (Don't flame me for that, it's not that I feel like that's how it should be or that everyone should aspire to coupledom. It just seems that is what generally happens with 30-40 somethings.)

[lonestar]

A lot of my friends back home got into relationships. It definitely changes my relationship with them...though I have tried to get along with both and go out with both parties on occassion. Oftentimes they would want to 'set me up' with a friend of theirs - someone who I would in all probablity not be interested in.

You see, I myself am something of a misanthrope, so the few relationships I get into I get really don't last that long. I suspect that the other party in the relationship grows weary of my own flaws as well.

I generally spend a lot of time on my own. I like it. As I said before I get rather bored and fed up with others. I am certainly not what you would call a "people person". So, my weekends are spent on my work or enjoying things on my own time...and that's fine with me. I like to talk to my brothers, maybe take a drive, work on website design, go swimming, listen to a record. I would say the only contact I get is with people at work and the rare friday night out a bar.

I imagine someday when I visit home my friends will have settled down and gotten married and had children - and I won't have to put up with the little terrors except on a visit. Then I may reflect with happiness on my choices.

[PenforPrez]

I have a few single friends and it seems like I can't really relate to most of them (not all, Deni!!). But mostly there is a friction there and I get the feeling they are uncomfortable.

Quite frankly, I am uncomfortable with that. I only want to hang out with couples just so I'll have a place to go with somebody. I hate seeing couples all happy and flirty with each other when I can't get a girl to commit to a date longer than two seconds. :googly:

I also am not about to go out with them to pick up guys. My husband might have a tiny problem with that. :rolleyes:

LMAO!! I kind of hope so. :huge: :rolleyes:

And being in your mid-20's means that it's pretty mixed up still. There are a lot of singles and a lot of couples. I imagine the older you get the more likely to be paired off people are and this becomes less of an issue.

Eh? Where are all these single people at?? Everybody was paired off when I was 22. Everybody was paired off when I was 18. Now I'm 26, and everybody's still paired off. I still think I live in some alternate universe where single people do not exist. I'm not flaming, just telling it as I see it. :)

It's like what the Eagles said in "Desperado:" "Your prison is walking through this world all alone." ;)

Paul

[lonestar]

Everybody was paired off when I was 18. Now I'm 26, and everybody's still paired off. I still think I live in some alternate universe where single people do not exist. I'm not flaming, just telling it as I see it. :)

Paul

You're not missing much. :neutral:

[capella]

Eh? Where are all these single people at?? Everybody was paired off when I was 22. Everybody was paired off when I was 18. Now I'm 26, and everybody's still paired off. I still think I live in some alternate universe where single people do not exist. I'm not flaming, just telling it as I see it. :)

It's like what the Eagles said in "Desperado:" "Your prison is walking through this world all alone." ;)

Paul
Location, location, location? In my particular town (which is not Orlando proper, but about 45 minutes north), there are people my age. But most of them I would not get along with. They did not get an education, tend to be very redneck/hillbilly, have 5 kids even though they are 22, and have been/are married and generally to the aforementioned dudes who like to shoot the bud cans off the fence. I am thinking a dinner party would be somewhat uncomfortable. I might, however, win plenty of Scrabble games were I to get them to play. Like I said, a lot of my issue is with where I live. I don't really relate to my neighbors. :rolleyes: Maybe I need to drink more beer and go bowling. LOL!

[lonestar]

go to more rat-shoots. My youngest brother just moved to the Daytona Beach area to go to Embry-Riddle and he says that the townies like to go on "rat-shoots"...

[Kitty]

I typically go shopping, lounge around watching netflix, go out to dinner, to the movies, to museums, visit my mom, relax in the hot tub, read, go to the library, run errands, etc.

[wordsmith]

I, in my singleness, have found the OPPOSITE to be true. It's the couples who don't want a single, non-attached third-wheel friend tagging along. That's why I have no friends to hang out with; nearly all of them are attached. I wonder if it's looking at the same issue from a different point of view.

Paul

Co-sign.

It's no fun to get ditched for "our couple friends." Or, "Well, we figured you wouldn't want to go, since it's couples." Lame.

It's so funny to me. I look at my dad...he's still tight with his high school friends (even though they don't all live in the same area anymore. And ALL of them are single, a bunch of bachelors. Yet, they're still tight. They never did the "drift apart if we're not all in the same relationship boat" thing. I think that's admirable.

I don't like that you suddenly become a pariah who "just doesn't understand" to your married/coupled up friends, if you are single.

Oh, and I'm highly educated, and I like to drink beer and go bowling. :rolleyes:

[lonestar]

Well I still think the worst is the "surprise" blind date...there's no worse way for the "couple" that you are friends with (or are friends with half of) bring a friend along to try and "hook" you up...what an embarrasing amd uncomfortable situation for both me and the other person. Particulary when your friends are not that stealthy about their intentions...

Being left behind is better than being caught in that situation, I think...

[RaeRae]

I generally spend a lot of time on my own. I like it. As I said before I get rather bored and fed up with others. I am certainly not what you would call a "people person". So, my weekends are spent on my work or enjoying things on my own time...and that's fine with me.


That's exactly how I am, but for some reason, I feel that I shouldn't be like that. But honestly, I don't like the people in my program in grad school.. they're too bookish, which isn't a surprise, I'm really not the "school type," I just happen to be smart, which as sad as this is, I'd give anything not to me (and my brother feels the same way, interestingly enough). I guess I feel like people judge me because I like to avoid people?

[lonestar]

That's exactly how I am, but for some reason, I feel that I shouldn't be like that. But honestly, I don't like the people in my program in grad school.. they're too bookish, which isn't a surprise, I'm really not the "school type," I just happen to be smart, which as sad as this is, I'd give anything not to me (and my brother feels the same way, interestingly enough). I guess I feel like people judge me because I like to avoid people?

Well I think a lot of people put emphasis on getting out and meeting a bunch of people and always striving for contact. I don't think this is a requirement for everyone, though. I find going out and meeting people rather overrated. I guess some would call me a loser for not having a ton of friends or spending most of my time alone, but I really couldn't care less.

You just have to determine that for yourself...are you happy spending time with yourself or do you want more than that?

[05girl]

I can totally relate to the original post. I feel like I spend the majority of my weekend wasting away. I live with my aunt, uncle & two little kids. Sometimes I do the "family" thing and go to rec sports games.. where I usually feel out of place. Most of the time I sit at home watching TV or burn money at the mall. I enjoy having the money to shop, but I hate shopping simply because I have nothing better to do. I don't have any close friends here, and really can count the number of people I know socially on two hands.
I as well have thought of a second job, but I have worked retail jobs requiring weekends since I was 16. I would like to freaking enjoy my weekends.. I don't like my job so I look forward to Fridays, but I can't figure out why...
A part of me truly hates weekends. The other half hates weekdays. It's a sucky feeling!

[capella]

Oh, and I'm highly educated, and I like to drink beer and go bowling. :rolleyes:
Yes, but I am certain that is not ALL that piques your interest. :frustrate

And I think that single people have encountered the "couplefriends" problem with a lot of other married/coupled friends and thus automatically have that reaction of discomfort with other coupled people.

I know that I do not act all couples-only with my friends (as Denise stated). But for some reason I still get the vibe that my single girlfriends expect me to act that way. This is what I don't get. I have been married for almost 3 years. We're WAAAAAAAYY past the attached to the hipbone era. But I get treated by some single friends like every other married friend they have. It's definitely a two-way street.

This is also why I've started to seek out other couple friends. I really think it's an issue that both sides of the friendship need to deal with. There are those married folks out there who really wouldn't mind getting away from the hubby for a while. :rolleyes:

[winneythepooh7]

Yes, but I am certain that is not ALL that piques your interest. :frustrate

And I think that single people have encountered the "couplefriends" problem with a lot of other married/coupled friends and thus automatically have that reaction of discomfort with other coupled people.

I know that I do not act all couples-only with my friends (as Denise stated). But for some reason I still get the vibe that my single girlfriends expect me to act that way. This is what I don't get. I have been married for almost 3 years. We're WAAAAAAAYY past the attached to the hipbone era. But I get treated by some single friends like every other married friend they have. It's definitely a two-way street.

This is also why I've started to seek out other couple friends. I really think it's an issue that both sides of the friendship need to deal with. There are those married folks out there who really wouldn't mind getting away from the hubby for a while. :rolleyes:

I totally understand where you are coming from Amy, and I'm not married yet.

In general on the weekends, I catch up on things I didn't have time to do during the week. Grocery shopping, bills, cleaning, laundry, mani/pedi, shopping in general. I also enjoy cooking so I will cook big meals on the weekends, as well as bake. When the weather is nice, I go to the beach. We also tend to hang out with our "couple friends" on the weekend. I've tried to get involved with female social groups but right now, they've died out. I have a lot going on myself right now with weddings and such coming up, and all the stuff related to them, so I haven't been active in seeking out new friends. I am just too busy on the weekends for that now.

[RaeRae]

I can totally relate to the original post. I feel like I spend the majority of my weekend wasting away. I live with my aunt, uncle & two little kids. Sometimes I do the "family" thing and go to rec sports games.. where I usually feel out of place. Most of the time I sit at home watching TV or burn money at the mall. I enjoy having the money to shop, but I hate shopping simply because I have nothing better to do. I don't have any close friends here, and really can count the number of people I know socially on two hands.
I as well have thought of a second job, but I have worked retail jobs requiring weekends since I was 16. I would like to freaking enjoy my weekends.. I don't like my job so I look forward to Fridays, but I can't figure out why...
A part of me truly hates weekends. The other half hates weekdays. It's a sucky feeling!


You captured exactly how I am feeling. I think I'll spend by days in the library doing my work and nights in the gym because it's empty on weekend nights, and that's how I like it.

We should be weekend buddies :)

[Deni81]

As a single woman in her mid 20's, I am way over the club/hooking up scene. Yes, I like to look and flirt with guys. But I am not looking for girlfriends to relive my freshman year of college. I would just love to have a close group of smart, lively and interesting women in my life to go to dinner/drinks, movies or concerts with.

[winneythepooh7]

OK, rant here: I know I've posted this before, but my guy just doesn't understand why it's so hard to find quality female relationships. Because he's a guy, and more accepting of his friend's bad behaviors, attitudes, etc. and still lives in the same general area he grew up in, it's "easy for him". He expects me to be friends with a bunch of these snotty shopaholic materialistic women that are the girlfriends of his guyfriends. I have nothing in common with them, nor do I want to throw myself on them just because they are with a guy he is friend's with. We got into an argument about something else earlier, and he just had to be a brat and throw this into the argument. When he is calm and rational, he can't stand them either!! WTF?

[pisces2473]

Winney, are you OK seeing these women socially, like if both guys and girls get together at someone's house? You just don't want to hang out with the chicks, right? At least you aren't refusing to hang out with them when it's a group thing. You need to tell M that you're tolerating them because they come with the package...but you don't want to be BFF with them.

[winneythepooh7]

Winney, are you OK seeing these women socially, like if both guys and girls get together at someone's house? You just don't want to hang out with the chicks, right? At least you aren't refusing to hang out with them when it's a group thing. You need to tell M that you're tolerating them because they come with the package...but you don't want to be BFF with them.

No, I am fine with that. And it's like one person in particular I don't really care for (I guess the other women would be more her friends and not in our circle anyways). I am friends with like everybody else and have no complaints. I think I probably had told you about this person before, possibly off the boards.

[pisces2473]

Yeah, I remember you telling me that story. I just wasn't sure if it was the ENTIRE group or not.