Move Out or Stay Home

[GbyeNice2KnowU]

I don't know what to do. This is a really tough decision for me. My bf and I just broke up over this because I have this need to be on my own and he's perfectly content staying home with his parents... even though he's going to be 30 this year. Any advice would really be appreciated.

I don't know whether I should move out or stay home with my parents. I'm 26 years old. I want my own place more than anything, but I can't really afford it on my own. I can do it, but it would be really, really tight... I would have a little over $400/mo. for food, gas, etc. I don't know if that would be enough. OR I can stay home while housing prices go down and save money in order to put a decent down payment down on a house. The problem with that is any house that I could afford would be pretty run down. I would need to do a lot of fixing, and I'm not handy. A condo would be my best bet, but add on the association fee every month, the price goes up at least $125-160/mo. Either way, it would really be tight.

This weekend I looked at some apartments. I got so excited that I even went looking for furniture. I was trying to take the initiative and get a place thinking my bf and I would move in together, but things didn't work out that way. He mentioned to me last night that he asked his friends to go in on a house with him. That really hurt me so bad because that obviously means that he's not ready to settle down with me, so I broke up with him.

Sorry I got off track. I don't know what to do. It would be a one year lease. Do I go for it or no? I could always come back home, but I don't know if that's going to be worse than just staying home now.

Please help!

[starryedd]

The day is going to come where you will move out of your parent's place.
I'm 23 yrs old and have been living on my own since May 2005. Its rough, I make a decent amount of money but I don't have much room for saving money. I love the independence and I budget my money monthly which helps a ton.
It sounds like you really want to make the move to your own place. Maybe if you found the right apartment that you fell in love with you might be willing to take the plunge into living on your own. Your boyfriend's decision to move in with some of his buddies completely goes against what he told you he wanted, which was to continue living at home. Doesn't sound ready for a committed relationship that included living together.

If your ready to try living on your own, its doable...just might take some planning and the desire to really want it to work. :-)

[paiger81]

Well, I'm one of those people who just didn't want to live with the 'rents, left for college at 17 & never went back. Yeah, it sucks when you are barely scraping by, but at the same time, that feeling of independence is worth it for me.

Depending on your area, $400 can be a lot of a little. In my area, it's doable, I have farmer's markets (cheaper, but better tasting fruits & veggies) and my gas bill for my CRV has been about $60 a month (BUT GAS IS AT $2.29, so hopefully that bill will be lowered this month) I live in an area where I have to drive everywhere.

[Chameleon]

I'm sorry about your relationship situtation. Have you lived on your own before? Had your boyfriend? How long were you two together? Had you ever talked about getting married?

I think it's a good idea to live on your own or with a roommate before moving in with a significant other - that way you can seperate the annoyances of living with someone from the annoyance of living with someone you love.

If you guys went directly from living at home to living together, it would be harder to seperate if living with you was just an escape from your/his parents or if it was what you/he really wanted. I don't know if you guys are going to reconcile but give him some time to stand on his two feet. That way he won't go from being babied by his mom (that's the only reason I'd think a 30 yr old man would have no plans to leave his parents house like he initially said) to expecting being babied by you.

[GbyeNice2KnowU]

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to continue looking for a place to rent. Right now I'm having a hard time finding a decent place I can afford.. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to save money and look for a condo/house to buy. I really want to be out on my own. I think having my own place is totally worth not having any money. If it gets too bad, I can always go back home (well, not if I buy). Any lease I sign will only be for a year.

As far as my r/ship goes, my bf and I have talked about living together. We went and looked at a couple of places, but after seeing how much rent costs, he decided that he would rather buy a place instead.

I don't know if this is going to come out right, but I'll say it anyway. If this r/ship isn't moving towards living together/eventually getting married, then I don't want to be in it anymore. My ex and I were together for 4 years, always talked about moving in together/marriage, but it never happened. He's married now. I feel like he knew I wasn't the right person and that's why nothing happened. Maybe my bf now feels the same way. I'd rather end it sooner than later.

Thanks again.