How do you get your wife to agree to a 3way

[lost_in_06]

At least once in my life I want to experience sex with to ladies. Call me a sicko or perv but I can't help but fantasize about it.

Instead of stepping out on my wife I would like her to take part, but i have not idea how to go about this.

Anyone ever been in this situation? How did it go down?

[CTGirl]

At least once in my life I want to experience sex with to ladies. Call me a sicko or perv but I can't help but fantasize about it.

Instead of stepping out on my wife I would like her to take part, but i have not idea how to go about this.

Anyone ever been in this situation? How did it go down?

I've had bfs bring up this subject before, and I think that if they'd stuck around for the long haul, I prolly would have given it a shot. I think you've really gotta bring it up very carefully if it's not something you ever mentioned to her in the past. I had one bf who used to mention it all the time, and because I wasn't ready for that, it really got on my nerves.

Also, she's prolly gonna see this as an issue with her not being "enough" for you, so be prepared for that response.

[Chameleon]

You would probably be best served searching the Savage Love advice archives. Good luck with that. Sometimes fantasies are better left as such. Would you be game if your wife wanted a threesome with two guys?

[Vickilynnct]

Bring it up playfully at first....to make her comfortable. Do you know how she'll respond. What would you say if she came up to you and said "honey, i think it would be great if we invited another guy to join us in bed so i can have both of you?"

Are you prepared to answer the question of who the other person is?

[MetFanL]

Get a Real Doll. It's a 3-way w/o all the jealousy b/c it's a toy.

[allie1105]

At least once in my life I want to experience sex with to ladies. Call me a sicko or perv but I can't help but fantasize about it.

Instead of stepping out on my wife I would like her to take part, but i have not idea how to go about this.

Anyone ever been in this situation? How did it go down?

I'm sorry, not only do I think that is gross, but I feel bad for your wife. If my husband asked me to do that, which he wouldn't, I would be really upset. I would take that as he thinks I am inadequate in bed, and he is not attracted to me. Maybe you should have thought more about doing that while you were single.

[spokes]

Get a Real Doll. It's a 3-way w/o all the jealousy b/c it's a toy.

this statement should have also included the "or so i have heard" - otherwise who knows what people might think :rolleyes:

dude once you have determined your apporach, let us know how about her reaction.

[springhaze]

I'm sorry, not only do I think that is gross, but I feel bad for your wife. If my husband asked me to do that, which he wouldn't, I would be really upset. I would take that as he thinks I am inadequate in bed, and he is not attracted to me. Maybe you should have thought more about doing that while you were single.

While it's perfectly okay to have that opinion, you have to keep in mind that not everyone feels that way. For example, I wouldn't mind having a threeway with my boyfriend and another girl if it was the right girl. To each her own ;)

To the OP- you need to find out your wife's attitude on the subject first, then tread lightly from there. Good luck!

[Winter Storm]

I would just come right out and ask her how she feels about that stuff. Me and my ex talked about it and with who out ofour wildest celebrity fantasies. We were half-kidding but it opened the lines of communication on it.

[Illuminous]

I discussed this with and ex and we even agreed on a girl, but at the last second, he backed out. It was too much to share me with anyone. It was really sweet, in a weird way.

[Kitty]

You probably already kind of know if this is something she'd go for or not. I think you should just bring up the subject and ask. It's definitely NOT my thing, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

[Krishna]

I love that you guys give me chances to use my favorite tv quotes on here...from the British show Coupling comes my steadfast answer to threesomes...

A Girlfriend's Three-Stage Strategy for Having a Threesom:
1. Darling, I'd love to try a threesome.
2. Darling, one day I'd consider a threesome.
3. Darling, I'm pregnant, there's your threesome!

[meatwad]

Chances are you missed out on this one when you got married. Should have probably got it out of the way before then.

[EmberMae]

If she hasn't already indicated bisexual tendencies at this point, I'd say it's an extremely bad idea.

[SunDevil]

This is one of those single things most of the time.

How could you go back to having sex with just her afterwards. You will really be fantising about it then.

And, how do you know she wouldn't like the girl more than you?

If you really, really want to try it, and don't care about the future of the relationship too much...

1. Get her and a close girl friend really drunk and see if you can get them to make out, and then progress from there.

2. Or, move to southern Utah, convert to the fringe Morman church, and say "Hunny, this is my second wife".

3. Save up $2000-3000 (or $1,000 if you get your wife to come with you somehow) and head to Nevada. There are some places where there are girls that will be glad to take part in your fantasy.

4. Go on a trip to Cancun during Spring Break, go to a bar, get your wife and a girl drunk and head back to the hotel room. What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.


I don't know, I can't get one girl. And Krishna, I'm a big fan of Coupling also. But I haven't seen the last season.

[Krishna]

I don't know, I can't get one girl. And Krishna, I'm a big fan of Coupling also. But I haven't seen the last season.

My boyfriend got me hooked on it, but I think he regrets it when I quote that episode back at him!

[hoodie]

To each their own, but I'm going to back up allie and say that I personally wouldn't want to do it.
I tell my bf which celebs I think are hot, and fake-flirt (dance, ass slap) with some of my chick friends, but the idea of seriously making out or more with a girl doesn't appeal to me at all. In fact, I sort of gag when I try to picture it. Ladies can be lovely, beautiful, sexy, and all of that in my opinion, but I don't want to get intimate with them and I definitely don't want them to get intimate with my guy. That thought doesn't just make me gag, it makes me want to vomit.
Sure its fine for me and my boy to joke about it, but if he seriously offered me the option of having one with me, or him having one without me, and seriously meant this, I'd take it as more than a fantasy...that's borderline obsessive. I feel strongly that once I'm committed to a guy and vice versa, it's just us two. If he knew that, and planned to screw two women anyways whether I'm one of them or not, I'd be running out of his life so fast his head would spin. It's wouldn't be an issue of sex anymore, it'd be about respect. But that's just me.

Like Frank Drebbin says in Police Squad movies: "I like sex like I like my basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible". :)

[shinyleaf]

check out last months' Maxim. I think there's a Q & A with Heidi Fleiss on this subject in there.

by the way, if you're wife isn't cool with your proposition, try not to convince yourself that you "tried" and it's therefore "ok" to go it alone (read: cheat)

[PenforPrez]

Am I the only straight guy who DOESN'T want to try two women? The whole two women thing has never really turned me on. :googly:

I agree with the comments that you should have brought that up before you got married. It's a totally different story now; at least to old-fashioned me, it is.

Get a Real Doll. It's a 3-way w/o all the jealousy b/c it's a toy.

That is, until the doll accuses a guy of being unfaithful with his right hand. :huge: :evil:

Paul

[bluup10]

I'm sorry, not only do I think that is gross, but I feel bad for your wife. If my husband asked me to do that, which he wouldn't, I would be really upset. I would take that as he thinks I am inadequate in bed, and he is not attracted to me. Maybe you should have thought more about doing that while you were single.

Well, I actually have a different opinion on this. I don't think he's perverted or anything...He's a normal, sexual being. Just like you and I. Who ever said sex just needs to be the missionary? Some people think vanilla sex is yawn. I certainly think so!

One's sex life should change always. And if a 3 some is the flavour of the day, as long as his wife is up for it, go for it. It's got nothing to do with being inadequate. I recently had the offer of 2 guys pleasing me. I turned it down cause I don't know the second guy from Adam, for no other reason. Lots of couples are into Swinging, etc.

Trust me, perhaps some of your best friends are as well!

[bluup10]

Chances are you missed out on this one when you got married. Should have probably got it out of the way before then.

Can someone please explain the prevalent attitude that "Sex-After-Marriage" is boring? And that it should be boring? Cause then I'd stick to my single girl glorious sex life. Sorry, now you all know I've got a wonderful sex life!! :huge:

[allie1105]

To each their own, but I'm going to back up allie and say that I personally wouldn't want to do it.
I tell my bf which celebs I think are hot, and fake-flirt (dance, ass slap) with some of my chick friends, but the idea of seriously making out or more with a girl doesn't appeal to me at all. In fact, I sort of gag when I try to picture it. Ladies can be lovely, beautiful, sexy, and all of that in my opinion, but I don't want to get intimate with them and I definitely don't want them to get intimate with my guy. That thought doesn't just make me gag, it makes me want to vomit.
Sure its fine for me and my boy to joke about it, but if he seriously offered me the option of having one with me, or him having one without me, and seriously meant this, I'd take it as more than a fantasy...that's borderline obsessive. I feel strongly that once I'm committed to a guy and vice versa, it's just us two. If he knew that, and planned to screw two women anyways whether I'm one of them or not, I'd be running out of his life so fast his head would spin. It's wouldn't be an issue of sex anymore, it'd be about respect. But that's just me.

Like Frank Drebbin says in Police Squad movies: "I like sex like I like my basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible". :)

First of all, sorry if my opinion came off as rude. Its interesting to read this thread, though - to see how many men/women would consider it. Personally, its not for me. Even if I weren't married, I don't think I could ever do something like that. As stated above, I do the same things with my girlfriends - the fake flirting thing - but to actually make out with a girl does not appeal to me.

Second, I believe exactly what hoodie posted above, about once she is committed to someone, its just the two of them. That is how I feel...especially with marriage. If you invite another individual into the bedroom with you and your spouse, you are opening a whole new can of worms. Marriage can be challenging enough at times, and adding third wheel can't make it easy.

Now, granted, I don't know exactly what goes through my husbands head, but I have joked around about this before. He thinks the idea of two girls is just wrong and gross (now, keep in mind he was raised extremely catholic). I think that if he thought otherwise, I would feel a little jealous and hurt. But that's just me :)

[Chameleon]

Well, I actually have a different opinion on this. I don't think he's perverted or anything...He's a normal, sexual being. Just like you and I. Who ever said sex just needs to be the missionary? Some people think vanilla sex is yawn. I certainly think so!

I'm sure this has been discussed before but "missionary" sex isn't the only option for monogamous couples.

lost_in_06, it is said that a lot of guys have the threesome fantasy, but I doubt the reality of it lives up to the expectation. Remember Ross's threesome in Friends? Someone always feels left out. What if your wife enjoys the encounter with the woman more than she enjoys being with you? What if she sees you slobbering all over this new chick and feels disgusted and violated? Not everyone enjoys watching their partner boning another person. If you do enjoy this fantasy, will your wife be up for repeating it or is she more likely to serve you divorce papers?

Unless you are really good at multitasking (some people barely do enough to satisfy one partner) someone is going to get bored and you won't have a director and fluffer helping you through all the awkward moments. How much do you know about this third person? What turns them on? What would make them run screaming from the room?

There are couples that engage in this kind of activity (swingers and the like), maybe you and your wife are swingers and she's just been waiting for you to broach the subject (ha!) or she's really bored with her sex life and also believes another person will spice it up. You won't know until you VERY tactfully bring it up and go easy on the alchohol - you definitely want informed consent on this (well, that should go without saying).

[SunDevil]

Can someone please explain the prevalent attitude that "Sex-After-Marriage" is boring? And that it should be boring? Cause then I'd stick to my single girl glorious sex life. Sorry, now you all know I've got a wonderful sex life!! :huge:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/163494156.html

This article is a good start. I can't find the other article right now, but there was a scientific study done by the BBC that found women in stable relationships wanted less sex after 4 years, and a lot less after 10. Where men wanted close to the same amount over 30 years. Women have the power to say no and not worry too much about losing their man once they are married. A single gal turning down sex for months at a time will get a guy to reconsider spending his life with you compared with a different girl.

I'm not saying all married couples have boring sex, but unless both partners can come up with new and wild ideas, and can keep up the frequency of sex, it will become routine. And married couples can have very intimate sex on a level that single people probably can't reach (unless they have been going out for years). But adding two work schedules, kids, family get togethers, errands, and everything else into the mix will change what sex was when you first started the relationship. Jealosy will make things iteresting and keep you interested/paranoid about each other, but it is a fine line and easy to cross over to where you hurt the other person.

[wordsmith]

This is a QLC-related topic why?

[lonestar]

What if your goal in life was to have a threesome by age 25...if you fail, you could really go into a bad QLC... :huge:

people have to have goals...

[old_school_soul]

This is a QLC-related topic why?

Well, I think there's lots of topics that could be questionable.. but i agree.

At any rate, if you want a 3 some, go to Nevada and get 2 hookers. It's a lot less dramatic, and there are no strings attached. I've known people who have been involved in 3 somes, and it has always created a huge amount of drama if they had a serious relationship with one of the members.

[wordsmith]

All I'm saying is, when this is a newbie's first posting topic, I smell troll. But that's just me.

There's nothing wrong with posting about sex, we post about sex all the time...but when you don't know anybody here, and start off with a "controversial" topic about threesomes, pretty much seemingly only to get attention, I can't help but be skeptical that you're for real.

[meatwad]

Can someone please explain the prevalent attitude that "Sex-After-Marriage" is boring? And that it should be boring? Cause then I'd stick to my single girl glorious sex life. Sorry, now you all know I've got a wonderful sex life!! :huge:

It's got nothing to do with that. If you want to bang your wife with a stuffed aligator while she's stapled to the ceiling and she's into that, hey, go with it. But when you get married you promised to be with that one person. If you both want to go out and find someone else to spice things up then nobody's going to stop you, but chances are you're going to put your marriage at risk. I know three couples personally that have tried it, two of them married couples. All three relationships ended VERY badly. So in my limited experience it's a bad idea if you want your relationship to last.

We're not all going to agree on this and asking for advice about something like this on a message board probably isn't the best place to find sound advice.

[lonestar]

It split up Tom Arnold and Rosanne Barr...and they were a match made in heaven.

[CTGirl]

It's got nothing to do with that. If you want to bang your wife with a stuffed aligator while she's stapled to the ceiling and she's into that, hey, go with it. But when you get married you promised to be with that one person. If you both want to go out and find someone else to spice things up then nobody's going to stop you, but chances are you're going to put your marriage at risk. I know three couples personally that have tried it, two of them married couples. All three relationships ended VERY badly. So in my limited experience it's a bad idea if you want your relationship to last.


Yeah, a friend of mine was just talking to me about this last night - ruined his relationship with his gf and best friend, so clearly that particular plan was a bad one. I agreed with him that the only way you can really do it (if you must) is completely anonymously, so there won't be any drama/jealousy afterward. If you're already in a relationship though, you're prolly outa luck.

[mishl982]

Just get into a topic talking about each other's fantisies. She might be open to your ideas, you might be open to hers.

[hellboy]

Lets say what you think happens. What if she says she has a similair fantasy and wants a three some with you and another dude? Are you okay with that? Fantasies..let them be just that.

[tina1979]

Lets say what you think happens. What if she says she has a similair fantasy and wants a three some with you and another dude? Are you okay with that? Fantasies..let them be just that.
I have to agree... Fantasies aren't always as good in reality.

also, you do need to be prepared to agree to one of her fantasies (even if its with another guy) if she agrees to this.

[spokes]

maybe she wants to "dance" with five or 10 guys - then what.......

[BadKitty]

At least once in my life I want to experience sex with to ladies. Call me a sicko or perv but I can't help but fantasize about it.

.Instead of stepping out on my wife I would like her to take part, but i have not idea how to go about this.

Anyone ever been in this situation? How did it go down?

I don't think that's sick or perverted, but it may cause more problems that you would be prepared to deal with - jealousy, confusion, loss of intimacy, weirdness with the third person, etc.

Just be sure to discuss all possible consequences. I also think it would be good to approach the issue gradually, gently. Don't push her.

I haven't read all the posts, so I am sorry if my answer is redundant.