Tip to guys doing online dating-

[gymgurl]

Okay, so this may not apply to just guys but since I don't really receive a lot of messages from females I'm not sure if they do it too....but, over the last few days I've gotten mail from guys who send the initial hello, so I send a hi back, ask a few questions about them and then they reply, answering my questions and then that's about it.

Take for instance this: (since there is no personal infor and it's so basic I figured it'd be alright to post)

...Yeah, that does sound like a good opportunity. I've had a few friends who went off to europe and they loved it!

My summer's been good. I worked and did some camping, hung out with friends, etc... It flew by pretty fast! - this is the second e-mail from a guy who initially contacted me. What am I supposed to say back?

I don't get this? I'm assuming because they are contacting me in the first place they are interested? Or do people generally just send random messages on sites like this (this one was myspace) just because they are bored at the moment?

If you're going to reply to a message you get from a girl, ask her some further questions to keep the conversation going. I'm tired of one-sideness from people (and yes, this is a direct result of my previous thread :p and some late night-I-need-sleep-frustration).

[Brillo25]

In my experience, every time a strange (usually literally) girl has sent me a myspace message out of the blue, it's always turns out to be because she's interested. Especially with guys, I doubt they would send a random myspace message to a random girl just to kill time.

Actually, I just had a friend of a friend start communcating with me through that site the other day. She's single and of course I'm thinking based on past history with that site that she's interested, and we're emailing and all but I'm so stressed out from the two girls I'm kinda seeing right now that I do NOT want to try any others at the moment, so I'm trying hard to be social without conveying possible dating interest. But she's a friend of a close friend of mine so I don't want to blow her off either. Kind of tricky.

I always try to ask follow up questions in getting to know someone over email, so I feel what you're saying about it being frustrating trying to keep the email conversation going without getting that.

[CTGirl]

I feel ya, I've started getting messages from random dudes on myspace myself. The thing is, if he's interested, and he started it, let him do the work. If you like him, then make the effort to create some conversation too, but otherwise, let it go, if he can't keep your interest, he can't keep your interest.

BTW, how do these people find me??? I'm kinda new to this whole myspace thing, but if you do basic searches in there, you get thousands of people, how do these random guys end up sending messages to me?

[SunDevil]

It took me about 3 months to figure out that you can search by zip code. Click the browse link that is to the left of the search one at myspace.com.

[CTGirl]

It took me about 3 months to figure out that you can search by zip code. Click the browse link that is to the left of the search one at myspace.com.

Yeah, I tried that, you get thousands of people when you do that, how can you find anyone that way?

[twentity]

I'd say that if they are not asking questions about you then they are self-centered and you don't need to be bothered with them. In real life or online I will ask questions because as previously stated you want to get to know someone but if they are not asking questions of me then I just let it go.

[spokes]

in my opinion some people just don't take an extra minute to try and figure out how thier e-mail might be interpreted, and to think how would they respond to such a message.

i also love the intial e-mails that are loaded with tons of gammer and spelling errors (although i should note that i don't put much eefort into my posts here so i guess this is the pot calling the kettle black).

[wordsmith]

Actually, I just had a friend of a friend start communcating with me through that site the other day. She's single and of course I'm thinking based on past history with that site that she's interested, and we're emailing and all but I'm so stressed out from the two girls I'm kinda seeing right now that I do NOT want to try any others at the moment, so I'm trying hard to be social without conveying possible dating interest. But she's a friend of a close friend of mine so I don't want to blow her off either. Kind of tricky.


Mention casually in your friendly conversing that you're seeing somebody (or two somebodies). That should clue her in that you're just talking to be friendly.

[gymgurl]

BTW, how do these people find me??? I'm kinda new to this whole myspace thing, but if you do basic searches in there, you get thousands of people, how do these random guys end up sending messages to me?


This I would like to know too, like sometimes I'll get random messages from guys from the states (I'm in Canada).... I don't really understand that, like I've never contacted this person before (I can understand if you know them from a message board or something). Are people that open to starting very long distance relationships right now?

(I could see if again if you knew them from somewhere else because it just kind of happens incidentally but to specifically look them up seems odd).

[gymgurl]

i also love the intial e-mails that are loaded with tons of gammer and spelling errors (although i should note that i don't put much eefort into my posts here so i guess this is the pot calling the kettle black).

sorta like this....? (Just received it from someone I've never talked to before)

"you should write a few more intro paragraph so i can determine you a portioh of you inytiergy " ........huh??? :confused:

[CTGirl]

sorta like this....? (Just received it from someone I've never talked to before)

"you should write a few more intro paragraph so i can determine you a portioh of you inytiergy " ........huh??? :confused:

lol, I've gotten some classics, like this one from some random dude:

"very sexy and HOTTTT auchhhhhh. I am breaking the ice,. I just had to check you out ;)
check me out,and let me know if i am your type :D!!!
hope we stay in touch
if you have msn our yahoo, it will be great that way is better to knwo you. don'y you think? :) "

Or this one's good too:

"hi,
whats up?
everyone has a story on here , so tell me whats urs?. ru
married?
b/f?
single?
lookin 2 settle down?
or just 4 fun?
freinds with benifits?
my story is that im out of where i was , today i dont want to settle down 4 now and i would love 2 find ONE friend with benifits to have fun with and then take one day at a time, u open 2 that? "


Or this one here is my favorite, some random guy sends me a message, and all it says is this:

"You're way to pretty for me to not know you. "

LOL, guys are so strange sometimes......

[Jake536]

Well it looks like they are very fond of you atleast?


lol, I've gotten some classics, like this one from some random dude:

"very sexy and HOTTTT auchhhhhh. I am breaking the ice,. I just had to check you out ;)
check me out,and let me know if i am your type :D!!!
hope we stay in touch
if you have msn our yahoo, it will be great that way is better to knwo you. don'y you think? :) "

Or this one's good too:

"hi,
whats up?
everyone has a story on here , so tell me whats urs?. ru
married?
b/f?
single?
lookin 2 settle down?
or just 4 fun?
freinds with benifits?
my story is that im out of where i was , today i dont want to settle down 4 now and i would love 2 find ONE friend with benifits to have fun with and then take one day at a time, u open 2 that? "


Or this one here is my favorite, some random guy sends me a message, and all it says is this:

"You're way to pretty for me to not know you. "

LOL, guys are so strange sometimes......

[CTGirl]

Well it looks like they are very fond of you atleast?

True, I mean, it's nice to know that random dudes on the internet find me attractive, lol, but do girls ever actually go for this stuff? Like the one asking me if I wanna be a friend with benefits or something - does he really expect me to be like "Yes, random dude, I'd love to have sex with you." Has anyone ever done that?

The only messages I ever respond to are ones where the guy actually tries to make conversation with me, and seems like someone cool that I would actually like to get to know.

[HereComes30]

Glad you started this thread. I have sent well over a dozen messages via Myspace over the last couple of weeks to people I do not know. But based on their profiles, I would like to get to know. Although the initial message is a little generic, I try to ask questions or mention things that caught my attention on their myspace account and why I choose to send them a message. To date....1 response. And I think that was just because she was a fellow alumni. And I definitely answer her questions and then ask more...only makes sense.

Mostly I have just received messages back from old high school friends.

[PenforPrez]

Meanwhile, nice intelligent guys like me who are curious and do ask questions can't get responses. That happens to me quite a lot.

[dengeist]

Okay, so this may not apply to just guys but since I don't really receive a lot of messages from females I'm not sure if they do it too....but, over the last few days I've gotten mail from guys who send the initial hello, so I send a hi back, ask a few questions about them and then they reply, answering my questions and then that's about it.

Take for instance this: (since there is no personal infor and it's so basic I figured it'd be alright to post)

...Yeah, that does sound like a good opportunity. I've had a few friends who went off to europe and they loved it!

My summer's been good. I worked and did some camping, hung out with friends, etc... It flew by pretty fast! - this is the second e-mail from a guy who initially contacted me. What am I supposed to say back?

I don't get this? I'm assuming because they are contacting me in the first place they are interested? Or do people generally just send random messages on sites like this (this one was myspace) just because they are bored at the moment?

If you're going to reply to a message you get from a girl, ask her some further questions to keep the conversation going. I'm tired of one-sideness from people (and yes, this is a direct result of my previous thread :p and some late night-I-need-sleep-frustration).

Eh. This is one of my main hang-ups about online dating. I haven't really attempted to mess with myspace like that, but from using other dating sites women are equally guilty of doing stuff like this. But they are less likely to send out random messages.

I've had women give me their phone number, then not pick up the damned phone...WTF?!? Who does that?

Also sometimes, I see profiles where the woman can't even be arsed to write a real one, so it's hard to write an opening message, because there isn't much to go on besides how she looks. If you're really interested, you'll end up sending a weak message, which screws you over.

I've gotten messages that just say "Hi." My favorites were the sites where, you can see how many times a person has viewed you and you send an message and get no response, but they continue to view you multiple times!

This is why I like meeting in real life better, because at least I can see how sincere a person is, whether I'm wasting my time and move on.

/rant

Not trying to defend the guy because I would never send a message like that. But it seems like he was trying to connect on the Europe thing, but he left out the story, so it failed. Then he tried to share a little bit with his interests: camping, hanging out, etc.

You could try to ask him about the camping or just outright ask him about what he does when he hangs out.

It seems like he's a trade off talker, give a little bit to invite a little bit, share a little bit more to respond a little bit.

[gymgurl]

Meanwhile, nice intelligent guys like me who are curious and do ask questions can't get responses. That happens to me quite a lot.


What site are you using? And what does your profile look like? That could make a big difference.

[and1grad]

I've never actually checked thru myspace like an online dating thing cuz I didnt know how to narrow down the search. But I looked today and I thought it was pretty entertaining. AT LEAST half the girls on there have one of three things:
1) Their chest spilling out of the page
2) A comment by some dude/chick with something along the lines of "Your tits are hot"
3) A page thats so busy it should come with a disclaimer for possible epileptic seizures

I just cant take that shit seriously. Good for window shopping tho! :huge:

[gymgurl]

I've never actually checked thru myspace like an online dating thing cuz I didnt know how to narrow down the search. But I looked today and I thought it was pretty entertaining. AT LEAST half the girls on there have one of three things:
1) Their chest spilling out of the page
2) A comment by some dude/chick with something along the lines of "Your tits are hot"
3) A page thats so busy it should come with a disclaimer for possible epileptic seizures

I just cant take that shit seriously. Good for window shopping tho! :huge:


Lol, yah I know, it's ridiculous. I automatically do not reply to any guy whose is showing himself either holding alcohol or drunk in all of his pictures. I don't understand what some people are thinking when the create their profiles.

[PenforPrez]

What site are you using? And what does your profile look like? That could make a big difference.

Right now, I'm trying Craigslist. If they ask for details in an ad, I'm honest about myself. Which is problematic when I have to admit I have a few extra pounds. But I make a point of asking appropriate questions and taking interest in whatever they say.

As far as profiles on personals sites, I'm sure I've never come off as electrifying. They don't do me much justice; one has to talk to me and interact with me to really figure out I'm a nice guy, etc.

Paul

[gymgurl]

ahh, I see. Well are you doing something to lose the extra pounds? I think as long as you were actively doing something about it some people could over look this. I think one of the big things is to be a little different than everyone else with what you say, stand out.

Do you have a pic posted? (not sure if they do this on craiglist)...that will make a big difference in response rate too.

[wordsmith]

Shockingly enough, people carrying extra pounds somehow do often manage to date. Even via online personals. I know...it's amazing. :rolleyes:

[CTGirl]

Shockingly enough, people carrying extra pounds somehow do often manage to date. Even via online personals. I know...it's amazing. :rolleyes:

Seriously, people make it sound like overweight people are some sort of social outcasts :googly: They do date, and get married, and have kids, and the whole deal, just like everyone else.

[PenforPrez]

ahh, I see. Well are you doing something to lose the extra pounds? I think as long as you were actively doing something about it some people could over look this. I think one of the big things is to be a little different than everyone else with what you say, stand out.

My weight goes up and down more than Oprah's. I have a target I'd like to reach, would only be maybe 30 pounds, but I haven't weighed that since I was 15. But I'm happy with a little extra weight; I wouldn't look good skinny. But I do watch my weight, and I'm using this new job to my advantage there.

I try to be different when I respond to something. Frankly, I think the fact I don't issue sexually explicit comments at such times is different in itself. I try to show that I'm not some moron who hasn't had an original thought since Clinton was President. :rolleyes:

Shockingly enough, people carrying extra pounds somehow do often manage to date. Even via online personals. I know...it's amazing. :rolleyes:

OMG, that's the revelation!! :eek: :huge:

I don't think my weight is that big a deal either. Lately, women seem more obsessed with "professional" types who don't live with their parents. None out of two ain't bad. :razz: OK, so they don't care about finding a nice guy with a lot of intelligence and potential?? Well, damn. Here all the time, I thought my problem was my obsolete musical taste. :rolleyes:

Do you have a pic posted? (not sure if they do this on craiglist)...that will make a big difference in response rate too.

I always post pics on online personals profiles; I don't respond to profiles without photos. CL doesn't do pics. But I never get responses anyway, with or without.

Paul

[Deavan]

i also love the intial e-mails that are loaded with tons of gammer and spelling errors (although.


LOL I went on a date last night with a guy whose intial profile was littered with grammar mistakes for example

..."When dating a girl intelligents is important"

He emailed me so I emailed back and called him out on all of his grammar mis-use and how that intial phrase I quoted made him sound pretty silly...LOL we then had a wicked lively email exchange and which kind of made it a joke between the two of us so we ended up meeting and we had a really nice date last night and he is far more intelligent in person then his profile suggests... but he claims the grammer mistakes were on purpose because he wants potential dates to call him out on it...(yeah right)