Would you be offended if a VP nicknamed you "Rain Man"?

[stringycheese]

I was in a meeting with the VP of Operations and about 10 other people yesterday and he suddenly started calling me 'Rain Man'. Everybody had a good laugh and then he explained that my new nickname is 'Rain Main' because I have mannerisms and social skills like rain main and gave an example. Everybody had another good laugh and I laughed with them but inside I was pretty pissed off. He calls another guy 'Radio'. He called me that for the rest of the meeting and then when he called me on the phone today and after I picked up and said 'hello', he started his part of the conversation addressing me as rain man. I didn't say anything more until he addressed me by my real name. The funny thing is he is a little chubby and bald. Maybe I should start calling him Costanza.

I think he is the one that lacks social skills. I may be a little shy and soft spoken and I don't act like I know everything or that I'm the most important person on the planet, but that doesn't mean I'm autistic or an idiot savant. I treat people with respect and would never hurt someone's feelings on purpose. Having no respect for others is worse social skills than being a little shy and quiet.

The really crappy part is that I am supposed to start working more directly with this guy on a regular basis. I guess I will get over it, but I just don't understand why people have to treat other people like crap. It's like I'm back in 7th grade again.

So, have any of you ever had any work nicknames that really sucked? I'd like to hear some.

[Kitty]

OMG, that's straight up harassment.

[Skyblade]

Ugh...I get really sick of people being so negative about people who are "quiet" or "shy". People do that all the time with me...assuming I'm a certain way just because I'm not a social butterfly.

[flesh_gordon]

That's not really cool. I'd be pretty pissed off and talk to a higher up. I wouldn't care if that's a VP, he should be showing a lot more tact than that. I have a feeling if you were to start calling him 'Costanza' or 'Cue Ball' you'd find your things in a box on your desk.

[CuranderaC]

I'm called Sunshine. I find it so condescending.

[Xander]

Hooooly crap. If my boss gives me a bad nickname, all hell with break loose.

Document that he gave you this nickname (maybe get him to say it in an email or two, voicemail, etc.) then tell him you really don't like the nickname. If he keeps calling you that...

[lonestar]

About three years ago I was heavier...I weighed about 190 (I am 5'7") but lost 50 pounds about 2 years ago. Anyway one of my bosses at a retail establishment would call me "skinney"...I didn't find it that amusing...

[yankeeyosh]

I've been called Rain Man before...although by fellow classmates. It wasn't a pretty period of my life.

Sorry you went through this BS. That's tough.

[zen_mistress]

The books I have read on social skills say that though some people think that teasing gets them laughs/etc and creates bonds with people, the book says that a lot of teasing is actually quite unnappreciated by many people and doesnt benefit the teaser socially. The book says that it is better to hold off the teasing even when you see the opportunity .. the person whose foibles will be pointed out publicly will be better off for it. Looks like the guy has a lot to learn about people.

[LaFille]

wow, i can't believe some of the nicknames people are throwing out... most bosses or friends who have given me names are people i am close with, and the names are based on things i have done to 'deserve' them. i don't even like when people i don't know shorten my real name, so i would DEFINITELY not be ok with this kind of treatment!

[lonestar]

I have had a lot of dick bosses and supervisors who would pull shit like this and you know what it made me realize: for the most part people suck.

My current boss, for example, told me when I asked a question about some fine details told me that I was "funny"...but not in a good way...it was kind of in a demeaning...fucking bitch.

[AshleyJordan]

Yeah, sometimes people just think it's funny, when it isn't. A past supervisor of mine, who I am actually close with and who has an incredibly irreverant sense of humor, would tease me about being a terrorist after 9/11 (I'm half Arab,) which, obviously, living in New York, wasn't really appreciated.

But this is a person who is just as quick to make fun of herself for being overweight, etc. Still, it was totally out of line, and I called her on it, and she claims she didn't even realize it until I said something.
Rainman? That's just f*cked up and cruel, I would definitely say something, kind of casually, but document it in an email, like "I'm sure that you don't mean anything by this, but I actually find this hurtful/offensive/whatever, and in the future, I'd really appreciate it if you just call me _____(whatever your name is."

[old_school_soul]

Ah well shit.. When people make jokes, they are inviting you to make them back. That's what I do. And I do that with senior executive staff of the federal government.

[Xander]

As a side note, another option you can do:

The next time they call you Rain Man during a conference, start talking like Rain Man for the rest of the meeting, putting extra effort into making absolutely no sense. If you do it to an extreme--to the point where everyone's uncomfortable--I guarantee you they wont call you Rain Man ever again.

Be sure to take it to an extreme, though. If you do it half-way, they'll think it's funny. Try "angry Rain Man"...

e.g. When asked about budget forecasts, talk about having to go to Wal-Mart, and everyday low prices. Gotta go to Wal-Mart... Definitely. Definitely.

[shinyleaf]

As a side note, another option you can do:

The next time they call you Rain Man during a conference, start talking like Rain Man for the rest of the meeting, putting extra effort into making absolutely no sense. If you do it to an extreme--to the point where everyone's uncomfortable--I guarantee you they wont call you Rain Man ever again.

Be sure to take it to an extreme, though. If you do it half-way, they'll think it's funny. Try "angry Rain Man"...

e.g. When asked about budget forecasts, talk about having to go to Wal-Mart, and everyday low prices. Gotta go to Wal-Mart... Definitely. Definitely.

This is great. I also like the "Costanza" comeback. Seriously, if you get called on it, you totally have a leg to stand on - a whole bunch of witnesses were there when he called you "Rainman"! You could just say that you thought it was the "way things were" around the office, all jokey-like ! It may actually be that this lame-o of a VP is trying to bond with you in an awkward way, but if it makes you feel demeaned, it doesn't matter what his intent was. Complain. (or retaliate...) goodluck.

[dengeist]

I wouldn't stand for it and I probably would've said something if I was there. I'd also be sending out my resume right now! One thing I noticed is a lot of people won't say anything (even adults) when someone is being teased, but they often feel bad for you and kind of hope you'd stand up for yourself. The laughter is kind of a nervous laughter.

It did happen to me once and I stopped it as soon as it started. I've lived a lot of places growing up and my mother's German, so I have a muddled accent. Most of the time people are curious about it. But this one time this guy I worked with started mocking me, at an open house no less! I pulled him aside and told him, "I don't appreciate what you're doing and it could be considered harrassment, should I choose that route. I want it to stop NOW!" I even said, "Do you understand me?" :lol: It did stop, but I was really insulted.

You need to put a stop to it before more people start doing it. I don't work in a corporate environment, but I'd think that, in some kind of way this name calling would be detrimental to you, not only your well being but as far as advancement too, because people won't respect you.

[spokes]

good grief this sounds like that episode of seinfeld........how old is the VP - 21???

[yankeeyosh]

good grief this sounds like that episode of seinfeld........how old is the VP - 21???

These days, that wouldn't surprise me.

[Trillian42]

Retaliation in calling him a nickname is not the way to go, IMO. It's suprising what changes you can effect when you just let people know how you feel. Just let the guy know that you do not appreciate being called by that or any other nickname. He probably just is insensitive to the fact that you might be offended. Then if he persists, you should take it too the next level and contact HR.

[cache]

Just mention it to him in private, but mention that you think it affects others opinion of you, and that hurts when trying to accomplish tasks.

If he continues to do it, then he is doing so purposefully and it needs to be addressed through the proper channels.

[leoisillon]

:googly: I would let him know that you are offended and if he continues to call you Rain Man, then file a complaint with Human Resources.

[CCrox24]

That is SO rude and tactless. Unfortunately he is a VP, so sadly I don't think you could get him fired.

[stringycheese]

Thanks for the advice guys. I am going to tell him privately that I don't appreciate the nickname and if he persists, I will take it to HR. It would be funny to start calling him Costanza or Q-ball, but it would probably only add fuel to the fire or get me in trouble.

This guy has only been with the company for a few months. He is a good buddy of one of the other VPs who hooked him up with the job. I would guess he's about 35. He's got pretty good qualifications, just no people skills.

[cache]

I wouldn't mention that you will go to HR if it persists, that sounds threatening, and he may want to retaliate in some way that you may not be able to control.

Keep it friendly...