Dating after a break up

[Deni81]

Ok, it's been 4 months since my last relationship ended and I went on my first date last night. I was a little nervous and kept the expectations pretty low. I figured this is my first venture into the dating world in a while and it must be a disaster.

The date went better than expected. Conversation flowed well, nice guy. But on the way home, I found myself doing the comparisions. Uggh. I know I am not ready to get another boyfriend, but I thought casual dating would be alright. Is this normal?

[spokes]

i think that to some extent comparing "things" is normal. i'd use the analogy of if you went to a restuarnt last year and you went to the same place last night you would compare the two to some extent.....

[GoogleGirl]

I went on a date 4 months after my ex broke up with me. And I've been dating that guy ever since. :huge: It's been about 7.5 months now. Yea, you will do the whole comparison bit. I still do it ever so often. But it's normal. 4 months is not a long time from a breakup. It will get better. This is coming from a girl who cried every day for 3 months and thought that I was going to be alone until I died. I was sooooo devestated. And my ex was my first love too. It is extremely difficult to get over someone (well, if it was a good relationship at least), but time heals all pain. Believe me.

[Deni81]

Thanks Googlegirl. Yeah I found the first 2 months horrible. I had trouble sleeping, eating and thought I just lost the most amazing man ever. I have been doing better the last month and a half. I have accepted that yes it was a good relationship, but the timing wasn't right. And I have learned that timing is so important.

[GoogleGirl]

That's good, you learned that quicker than me. And I would talk about my ex to my bf quite a bit. Big no-no. But my bf put up with it and helped me get through it. What some guys will do for love...haha Just take it one step at a time. No need to rush dating. I probably shouldn't have started dating when I did, but I'm ever so grateful for my boyfriend these days. You never know who you may find!! =) My ex didn't want to think about a "future", but I did. That's part of why we broke up I suppose. My bf now is pretty serious about us and I am excited about that. So yes, timing is definitely important. Good luck!

[CityGal]

Yes, it is totally normal. It's only been 4 months! I dated a guy for three months and I really began to believe we were so destined for each other until of course we broke up. Needless to say I was still comparing guys to him after one year after the breakup. I still do sometimes. Don't worry about it.