afraid of new job...

[GreenwithEnvy]

For the past 3 years, I have been working retail in various stores. Currently I am at a department store, which is great, except for the whole customer thing. I mean I like my fellow employees, i like my managers, the scheduling, the atmosphere, and i even get benefits. But I just hate retail in general and I simply can't deal with the frivelous things that customers get so livid about.
I also can't afford living on $70.00 a week any more.

SO...I need a new job - A 'real' job this time. For the past year or so, I've been thinking about contacting a job placement agency or a temp agency. I figure this would be good for me b/c while I don't have a degree, I have a lot of office experience and am very savvy with typing and basic office duties. I also am an aspiring author, and I do not want a job that occupies my life to the point where I don't have time to write or focus on that part of my life anymore (b/c getting published is SO much more work than just writing a novel).

That being said, let me get to the real problem: I am flat out TERRIFIED of getting a job like this ^. I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the work. I'm afraid it'll be too hard or I'll screw something up that's really important. I'm afraid that I won't be professional enough to even get my foot in the door. I'm afraid I'll be looked down on b/c I quit school to follow a dream. I'm afraid that I will run myself ragged working 40 hours a week. And I say this b/c even now, when I work the occasional 8.5 hour day, I am beat after it. I mean I don't exersize on those days, I'm miserable, I don't read, I don't write, I don't watch tv, I don't talk to friends or family and I'm just plain mean. I hate the idea of any type of work (except writing) occupying my life. I'm afraid I won't have time to live my life. I'm also afraid of sitting behind a desk in an office everyday while life passes me by. I'm afraid of getting into some mundane routine and not doing anything worthwhile with my life. In all honesty, I have NEVER EVER EVER in my LIFE wanted a 'normal, real' job. I guess I'll put it the corny way -- I want a job that MEANS something, a job that HELPS people.
I'm not afraid of hard work. I mean, god, give me a hammer and some nails and I will try my hardest to build a house for someone who doesn't have one.
But stick me in an office and tell me to file papers? The thought of doing that everyday literally makes me want to cry.
I just don't know what to do.
I would love to do something with music or helping kids in school or building something or...i don't know...anything that isn't 'normal' or mundane or useless.
I just don't know how to find a way to do these things and get paid for them. I know there are plenty of volunteer opportunites out there, but again, I'm afraid that with a full time 'regular' job, I won't have time or energy for volunteer.
And besides, I need to be doing these meaningful, helpful things ALL THE TIME. If I don't, I literally feel flat...dead...gross...sad...black...empty...it's horrible.

I don't know what to do but I need help with this situation.
Thanks in advance for any support or suggestions...

[Millenial]

i know exactly how you feel. i work in social services and a basically a entry level person in the field and i feel it has meaning, although it's not always apparent. ironically, i feel "weird" and "excluded" from society as my work has strange hours and low pay and stigma from the less accepting in our society.
this is my first real job (working at a center for autistic, PDD and emotionally challenged adults and children, and i've never had to take on this much responsiblity in my life. it's absolutely frightening to me, i almost wish i had a meaningless easy job. i don't really have any advice, except to say, face any challenges the best you can, if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out at least you tried.

my recommendation is maybe doing something in education or maybe social work/social services. the pay is horrible though, that is the huge downside.

[vxmike]

I've noticed that "better" jobs typically involve less work than low-level low-wage jobs. On average the more you make the less actual "work" you do. It's held true in my work history personally and I've seen it on a consistent basis throught my career.

So anyways my point is that I think retail work is tremendously hard work compared to a "real" job. I can see how you would be exhausted after 8 hours of retail. Retail workers just plain work hard all day long. I've never done it and I can't even imagine working like that. I personally have a very good job now, and I feel just fine after working 16 hours days whereas if I was working like I used to back when I had worse jobs I'd be dead.

There are plenty of other jobs other than office ones. Get a job as a courier, a hotel front desk clerk, at a hospital, a pet store, etc. I work at a hospital and there are always plenty of different entry level jobs open in different fields. Pay is usually OK (beats retail) and you can get a variety of schedules to fit your needs at a 24/7 institution. Just an idea...

[starryedd]

Its tough getting your first "real world" job. Its ok to be scared, I think everyone goes through it. Remember, entry level positions are called entry level positions for a reason...they get your foot in the door and you never know what other opportunities will come your way because of it. If you like children have you thought of looking into being an aide at a school district....or if you have good secretarial skills maybe an office of some sort.

I work with a non profit agency and we have direct care workers that work in MH/MR residential settings and pay somewhat good and their is opportunity for growth.
Search through classifieds and get in contact with a job agency, Im sure that you can stumble upon something. :-)
The more things you try the more adapt your to find something you enjoy.

[winneythepooh7]

I'm a Social Worker in an administrative capacity. Looking back at my direct care roles, I think they were pretty damn good compared to retail. Much more flexibility, better benefits and at least if a client pissed me off, I knew their reasons behind it. What are asshole customer excuses in the retail field? I certainly recommend looking into a direct-care position. There are so many different jobs and populations available--from young children to the elderly.