Anyone else get dumped this weekend?

[ontarigirl]

That's right.......in response to my last post 'How do you know if you're enough?'. Well now i know. I"m not. He dumped me on Friday night. It is too confusing. HIs actions say he's in love with me. And I am a very realistic person - if there are signs, I see them. This guy looked at me in a way that only a guy in love looks. He would wake me up with kisses. Hold my hand while we slept. Rub my face and just look at me in silence - in a way that is so intimate it can only make you smile all day long. So when I ask him to actually verbalize how he feels he runs for the hills. Totally screwed up. He said there is 'something missing'. I told him that 'something missing' was him. He couldn't open up emotionally. What is that - emotional detachment? IF that is a disorder then he definately has it!!

Man I am sad. So incredibly sad and defeated. I don't know what to do with myself now. He called today but i let it ring. He left a message to call but I didn't. I mean he walked out on me just saying there was something missing. Why can't men talk about their emotions without feeling the need to pull the plug????????

[CityGal]

Breakups are hard to go through. In my opinion, take a day or two to reflect on what just occured and to sort out your feelings and then return his phone call--maybe he finally wants to tell you what you want to hear or give you answers to your questions. Returning his phone call may give you the ease of mind you need. How long were you both dating? My apologies but I didn't read your previous post on this topic.

[GoogleGirl]

Just remember that not all guys are like that. Unfortunately that guy just was not it for you. MY bf has a hard time saying how he feels (he mostly just doesn't on his own), but when I talk to him about things he will say things that I need to hear. He knows I need to hear things every now and then. You obviously need someone who is more willing to open up. It will hurt; it wouldn't be called a breakup if it didn't. Just take some time for yourself right now. It's really important to take care of you right now. And yes, lack of communication with him is a really good idea. If he reaalllly cares about you, he'd do whatever he could to get you back. So don't talk to him right now. I hope this helps at least some..btw...my ex bf of 3.5 years dumped me on the phone last year. no face-to-face "be a man" deal whatsoever. Just...phone call. :googly: I hope you feel better soon!

[ontariogirl]

8 months. which to me is long enough to fall in love. at least i totally did anyway.

[winneythepooh7]

I don't think I read your other thread. In any event, are you his first real relationship? I remember when I first began dating my fiance, he would get freaked out a lot in the beginning that things were actually going so well. He is a nervous and anxious person to begin with. My perfect example is the day he left my house in Queens and walked all the way to Manhattan because he was so nervous that "things were going so well". I say give him some space for a few days. Maybe shoot him an email and then see what happens. If he can't communicate with you though, you have to decide if that is the type of relationship you want to continue in.

[CTGirl]

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! Have you called him back yet?

If he's really this much of a pain about opening up, it may not be worth it for you to try and work things out with him, and breaking up may be for the best.

I've been dumped too, so I know it totally sucks. Let yourself feel the pain and go through the healing at your own pace. Good luck!

[wordsmith]

He said there is 'something missing'. I told him that 'something missing' was him. He couldn't open up emotionally. What is that - emotional detachment? IF that is a disorder then he definately has it!!

It's not a disorder, but it's incredibly common, unfortunately. And until people want to learn how to get over it, it's probably more responsible for the demise of relationships than anything else.

You're probably right, though. When somebody isn't comfortable being open, the "something missing" in a relationship is going to be them. You can't have relationships if you can't give.

[Chameleon]

8 months. which to me is long enough to fall in love. at least i totally did anyway.
He's called it off before though, right?

[enigma]

I HATE that "there's something missing line"... right up there with "things just aren't the same." I've seen a lot of these guys come back again and again...

I think that if he's not opening up, then that is his problem, not yours... if he ends up coming back you need to tell him how you feel.

[dddork]

I am sorry... one advice.. keep yourself busy.. don't think about him too much else it will hurt a lot more than it shoulD!

[MetFanL]

It's not a disorder, but it's incredibly common, unfortunately. And until people want to learn how to get over it, it's probably more responsible for the demise of relationships than anything else.

You're probably right, though. When somebody isn't comfortable being open, the "something missing" in a relationship is going to be them. You can't have relationships if you can't give.
Ditto. It's happened to me, too.

I'm sorry, sweetie. It's a long process. Just try to do stuff with your friends, try to throw yourself into your work and get to the gym. Fill your days and, eventually, you will feel a little better.

The no contact thing works well for me, too. It's hard as h*ll, but it works.