first date good or bad

[fearlesss]

so how can you tell if a first date went bad or not? my dating skills are mad rusty after 4 yrs being overseas.

[CTGirl]

It can be hard to know.

For me, I generally prefer to be pursued, not do the pursuing, so I know it went well by whether or not I hear from the guy right away afterward. Usually I get a "thanks, I had fun, we should do this again" type of follow-up within 24 hours (sometimes I've gotten an email/text immediately after)

You can also usually tell by the way the date ends. If I walk to my car and don't give the guy as much as a goodbye hug, it didnt go well from my perspective. If the two of you extend the date longer than you'd intended, and seem to have trouble parting ways, it went well. If a guy makes a point to tell you how great a time he had at the end of the date, it went well.

[wordsmith]

If it didn't seem blatantly bad, I only know that it didn't go well if I don't end up having a second date.

I've had dates I thought went well, and then they weren't revisted. The only thing I can figure in those instances is that the guy was seeing other people, and one of those situations took off.

[fearlesss]

It can be hard to know.

For me, I generally prefer to be pursued, not do the pursuing, so I know it went well by whether or not I hear from the guy right away afterward. Usually I get a "thanks, I had fun, we should do this again" type of follow-up within 24 hours (sometimes I've gotten an email/text immediately after)

So this is something I should then? is better to actually call or txt. I know she is working late tonight and has class tomorrow. I asked if she be interested in going out again. She said but it would be for a while since she was going out of town this week. Which I knew before the date anyway.

can also usually tell by the way the date ends. If I walk to my car and don't give the guy as much as a goodbye hug, it didnt go well from my perspective. If the two of you extend the date longer than you'd intended, and seem to have trouble parting ways, it went well. If a guy makes a point to tell you how great a time he had at the end of the date, it went well.


Date was not extended and honestly I didn't think it would be b/c I knew she had to get up at 530. I didn't get a hug but then again I was sore from pulling out car transmission a couple hours before and what I ate didn't agree with me so I didn't care. I'm not real big on hugs and kisses on a first date anyway.I went to washroom twice only because of what I ate, and was txting (kinda of took this as update to her escape) but she didn't bail so I assumed things were going ok. Conversation went well enough ( did the whole 20 questions) with a few ack silences ( but thats to be expected.) I'm not going to lie for some reason I was nervous and I know it showed.

[CTGirl]

So this is something I should then? is better to actually call or txt.

Its up to you how/if you want to follow up with her. I like a simple email or text, its a bit more passive. I usually get something along the lines of "I had a really great time and I hope we can do that again some time" - that way, if I'm interested, I'll say, "yeah, definitely" and if I'm not, I can just say "it was fun, but no" and there isnt as much drama

Date was not extended and honestly I didn't think it would be b/c I knew she had to get up at 530. I didn't get a hug but then again I was sore from pulling out car transmission a couple hours before and what I ate didn't agree with me so I didn't care. I'm not real big on hugs and kisses on a first date anyway.I went to washroom twice only because of what I ate, and was txting (kinda of took this as update to her escape) but she didn't bail so I assumed things were going ok. Conversation went well enough (did the whole 20 questions) with a few ack silences (but thats to be expected.) I'm not going to lie for some reason I was nervous and I know it showed.

For me personally, if I don't get a hug or kiss on the first date, that makes me wary of his level of interest, but that's just me.

What's this you say about txting? Were you on your cell during the date?

If you feel like you were acting nervous, you might want to tell her that. I've had guys who didn't seem all that interested on a first date tell me they were nervous, and that made me feel a lot better - cuz nervous behavior can sometimes come across as disinterest.

[Brillo25]

It's hard to tell. I had a girl who didn't even give me a hug after the first date, even though I thought it went very well, yet she did want to go out again. On the second date, which also went well, I hugged her and she barely hugged back, yet she wanted to go out again. Everyone's different. As for the nervousness, if I've felt I've come across as nervous, sometimes I've told the girl that in a follow-up email or something, but in a joking way, something like "it's good that I was a bit nervous at first cause that means I really liked you :)," and it's gone over well.

I would give a follow-up email a day or two later though.

[CTGirl]

I would give a follow-up email a day or two later though.

Why wait?

I've had guys send me a text on the way home from the first date. To me, that shows definite interest. Can be risky though, cuz if she doesnt like you as much, your interest can some of as being stalkerish (course if she doesnt like you, then I guess it doesnt matter what she thinks, lol)

[WorkInProgress]

Its up to you how/if you want to follow up with her. I like a simple email or text, its a bit more passive. I usually get something along the lines of "I had a really great time and I hope we can do that again some time" - that way, if I'm interested, I'll say, "yeah, definitely" and if I'm not, I can just say "it was fun, but no" and there isnt as much drama.

I like this approach...just if you're going to text, be sure that she actually knows how to text, and communicates that way, because not everyone does.

For me personally, if I don't get a hug or kiss on the first date, that makes me wary of his level of interest, but that's just me.

And as far as this goes, I think everyone's different.

[fearlesss]

What's this you say about txting? Were you on your cell during the date?




no I didn't even look at my phone since it was in the car. when I came out of the washroom it looked she was txting someone but she stopped when I came back. I figure she was either just playing with it or it was her bail out person but since she didn't bail who knows. all in all we were together for 4 hrs

[wordsmith]

Ack, texting on a date is completely rude!

I hate texting in general, though. Nobody ever text me.

[fearlesss]

. As for the nervousness, if I've felt I've come across as nervous, sometimes I've told the girl that in a follow-up email or something, but in a joking way, something like "it's good that I was a bit nervous at first cause that means I really liked you :),"


It actually came up during the date. I said something along those lines about being bit nervous.

[CTGirl]

It actually came up during the date. I said something along those lines about being bit nervous.

I actually love it when a guy does that, I think its so cute when he admits he's nervous :)

[fearlesss]

so I guess it went well enough since she called the next day (monday ) to see how my job interview went. if she wasn't interested then she wouldn't have called right?

[CTGirl]

so I guess it went well enough since she called the next day (monday ) to see how my job interview went. if she wasn't interested then she wouldn't have called right?

Exactly, congrats!

Just beware of the "just friends" deal. That can be really tough to see, and its a really fuzzy line. I think you're in good shape though if she called the next day :huge:

[asm198]

If he sets up the time for the dinner date, then shows up and says he's already eaten, brings a FRIEND along, they both watch you eat because you haven't had a chance to eat anything all day, then blows you off by calling a female friend of his and wants the three of you to hang out with her and her friends at a bar (still blowing you off), gets annoyed that you hit it off with the female friend, then you all go to another bar, where he proceeds to leave to to hang out with the friend he bought, doesn't offer to drive you back to your car, so you have to catch a ride with your new friend on her Harley, then he and his friend (who have ridden to the date together) block your car in, then follow you back to your apartment so he can walk you to your apartment door, then proceeds to stick his ENTIRE tongue in your mouth repeatedly while attempting to grope you and tell you that sex with him is amazing...then you know you've been on a bad date.



Do I win for longest run on sentence ever posted on QLC?

[ScottyTheBody]

If he sets up the time for the dinner date, then shows up and says he's already eaten, brings a FRIEND along, they both watch you eat because you haven't had a chance to eat anything all day, then blows you off by calling a female friend of his and wants the three of you to hang out with her and her friends at a bar (still blowing you off), gets annoyed that you hit it off with the female friend, then you all go to another bar, where he proceeds to leave to to hang out with the friend he bought, doesn't offer to drive you back to your car, so you have to catch a ride with your new friend on her Harley, then he and his friend (who have ridden to the date together) block your car in, then follow you back to your apartment so he can walk you to your apartment door, then proceeds to stick his ENTIRE tongue in your mouth repeatedly while attempting to grope you and tell you that sex with him is amazing...then you know you've been on a bad date.



Do I win for longest run on sentence ever posted on QLC?

Oh crap that means my last date was bad...

[asm198]

Oh crap that means my last date was bad...

HAHAHA!! You win for the first person to make me laugh out loud today!

[CTGirl]

If he sets up the time for the dinner date, then shows up and says he's already eaten, brings a FRIEND along, they both watch you eat because you haven't had a chance to eat anything all day, then blows you off by calling a female friend of his and wants the three of you to hang out with her and her friends at a bar (still blowing you off), gets annoyed that you hit it off with the female friend, then you all go to another bar, where he proceeds to leave to to hang out with the friend he bought, doesn't offer to drive you back to your car, so you have to catch a ride with your new friend on her Harley, then he and his friend (who have ridden to the date together) block your car in, then follow you back to your apartment so he can walk you to your apartment door, then proceeds to stick his ENTIRE tongue in your mouth repeatedly while attempting to grope you and tell you that sex with him is amazing...then you know you've been on a bad date.



Do I win for longest run on sentence ever posted on QLC?

lol, wow, he sounds like bad news.....or just dumb and inconsiderate, lol.

[asm198]

I'd vote for just being dumb and not that into me. It was a blind date, set up by a mutual friend. Actually, the first thing that he said to me when we met was asking if I was legal. Yeah, I look young, but our friend isn't stupid enough to set him up with someone under 18.