eHarmony - How many matches? [Archive]

KCboy

10-02-2006, 12:44 PM

thanks to many of you, I signed up for eHarmony this weekend.

but I think I may have screwed up my personality 'test', because I only got one match and she lives at least an hour away from me.

how many matches did you all get?

do you normally have periods with less matches, then more for some reason?

if you only go a couple of matches, would you redo it?

wordsmith

10-02-2006, 12:51 PM

About a million, but none of them were close by, so I ditched it.

KCboy

10-02-2006, 12:54 PM

About a million, but none of them were close by, so I ditched it.

why would you look for people more than 30 or 100 miles away?

Winter Storm

10-02-2006, 12:59 PM

I had 5 matches; 2 in my state of Maryland, 1 Delaware, 1 Virginia and I can't remember the last one.

2 matches to me was not good enough to even subscribe. I never looked back. And I wouldn't pay $110 to wait for them to send me matches that they've chosen and without pictures.

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 01:00 PM

I think it took a while for me to start getting a significant amount of matches, and you certainly get less when you choose to only have the closer people (but I wouldnt want to try and date someone who lived hours away).

When did you sign up?

I used to get a match or 2 every day or so, so sometimes you just gotta be patient with it. Good luck!

wordsmith

10-02-2006, 01:03 PM

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 01:06 PM

I never subscribed, either. Other sites had guys closer by.

This obviously will vary with where you live, I had no problem getting plenty of matches in CT.

SmilesSoSweet

10-02-2006, 01:12 PM

I had an account with eHarmony, but never paid for an active membership. I think I just got a handful of matches (all local - within 45 miles of me) and by the time I signed on to see who they were, they replied back saying that they were either not interested or pursuing other relationships.

The same goes with match.com. I paid for a three month membership just to see what it was like. And I didn't get any matches either.

wordsmith

10-02-2006, 01:17 PM

This obviously will vary with where you live, I had no problem getting plenty of matches in CT.

I was actually surprised it's not more popular where I am, b/c it's religiously based, and it's fairly religiously conservative here.

But it's also expensive, in comparison to other sites, and people here are fiscally conservative, as well. So not that surprising.

On match.com, however, my cup runneth over.

KCboy

10-02-2006, 01:49 PM

it's religiously based

it is?

I know they had a lot of questions about faith and stuff, but I thought that's just because faith is an important factor when looking for a S/O.

Winter Storm

10-02-2006, 01:51 PM

it is?

I know they had a lot of questions about faith and stuff, but I thought that's just because faith is an important factor when looking for a S/O.

Yeah it is. And I think that is probably one of the reasons why I came up with so few matches. There are probably few agnostics/atheists on there.

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 01:51 PM

it is?

I know they had a lot of questions about faith and stuff, but I thought that's just because faith is an important factor when looking for a S/O.

Yeah, I am not a religious person, and I never thought of eharmony as being "religiously based" at all.

cache

10-02-2006, 02:25 PM

Other sites had guys closer by.

You make it sound like pizza delivery :huge:

wordsmith

10-02-2006, 02:38 PM

it is?

I know they had a lot of questions about faith and stuff, but I thought that's just because faith is an important factor when looking for a S/O.

Indeed. Dr. Neil Clark Warren's background is evangelical Christian, and he has an M.Div. Most of the site's early success came from being talkd up by Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Warren's a published author, too, and has had his self-help books published by Focus on the Family. A google search will show you that eHarmony has tried to distance itself from the conservative org (makes it more marketable, obv), but its site still upholds "traditional values," and won't do same sex pairings, etc.

KCboy

10-02-2006, 02:44 PM

When did you sign up?

I used to get a match or 2 every day or so, so sometimes you just gotta be patient with it.

I just signed up yesterday.

but I thought it was unusual, got no matches initially, then expanded my search to within 60 miles and got 1.

I'll wait it out, but I'm not going to pay a bunch to speak to the 1 match, especially when she lives an hour away.

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 03:03 PM

I just signed up yesterday.

but I thought it was unusual, got no matches initially, then expanded my search to within 60 miles and got 1.

I'll wait it out, but I'm not going to pay a bunch to speak to the 1 match, especially when she lives an hour away.

Yeah, give it a couple days, I think you have a week or something where you can get all your money back. If you havent gotten enough to make it worthwhile in that week, cancel your membership. After that, you'll still be on there, and you can still get matches, you just wont be able to communicate with them or see their pictures, but if you find that you're getting more, you can always pay to get back in.

Good luck!

Skyblade

10-02-2006, 03:08 PM

I'm incompatible w/ eHarmony. hehe

Spinney

10-02-2006, 05:30 PM

I signed up to check it out...the profile they created for me seems pretty accurate. However in all of Canada they have like 10 matches for me. I'm not shelling out $60 for that.

Do both people have to subscribe, or can you reply if a subscriber contacts you?

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 05:34 PM

Do both people have to subscribe, or can you reply if a subscriber contacts you?

If someone else is a subscriber and you are not, they can send you a message, and you can read it, but you can't respond to it, or see what they look like.

What I did at first, was put myself on there, and then waited till I had matches contact me that seemed interesting before I paid.

wordsmith

10-02-2006, 05:52 PM

Yup, I never got anything that seemed worth subscribing for. And they were mostly pretty far away, I'm not crossing state lines to date.

dddork

10-02-2006, 05:53 PM

how many of them matches worked for you, Amasandra?

PenforPrez

10-02-2006, 10:27 PM

I'm incompatible w/ eHarmony. hehe

Me too. Those bastards! :huge:

CTGirl

10-02-2006, 11:35 PM

how many of them matches worked for you, Amasandra?

I went out with quite a few of them. Most never made it past the first or second date, but I'm ridiculously picky, so I'm prolly not one to base anything on. I've been kinda seeing someone I met on there for a little while now, but he wants to take things very slowly, so we'll see.

I have to say though, that pretty much everyone who I got matched with on there was extremely compatible with me, we had loads in common, and I had no problem carrying on great conversations with them.

brightestblack

10-04-2006, 09:54 AM

Hehe. My results stated that I have absolutely no matches anywhere in the world.

HereComes30

10-09-2006, 02:59 PM

CTGirl

10-09-2006, 03:02 PM

After reading this thread I considered eHarmony...

So the other day I went on the site...did the profile questions...and then looked at the results. Except they sounded the same and I couldn't see the pics. So I subscribed for one month figuring I will cancel before the seven days and get my money back.

I had 18 matches so far. A few didn't have pics at all....big chunk had pictures but said they would not release them till later....and then about 5 or 6 with pics. I responded to a couple without pics out of curiousity and all but two of the ones with pics. I sent a preliminary list of 5 questions from the list of premade questions to them. One responded already and I sent her a request to bypass the other rounds of generic questions and just contact me directly.

So we will see where it goes. One person actually goes to my church listed on there. No pic though. So I sent the 5 additional questions to see if she responds.

Cool, good luck!

I personally always just closed the people who either didn't show their picture or selected to wait till later to show it, so I definitely respect you a lot for not being as shallow as me :razz:

As for strategy, I always prefered the guys who skipped the boring questions and went straight to sending me a message instead, especially if they had something interesting to say. Also, if I found guys who had something really interesting in their profiles, I'd skip to the message too.

Anyhow, good luck with it, and I hope you have as much fun with it as I did!

HereComes30

10-09-2006, 03:09 PM

I personally always just closed the people who either didn't show their picture or selected to wait till later to show it, so I definitely respect you a lot for not being as shallow as me

Looks are not THE most important part for me...although I think there does have to be some physical attraction. But it just makes me wonder..."why didn't they want me to see their pic", ya know? And I figure if I am showing a pic, then they should too. It really should be mandatory.

I wasn't feeling all that creative when I put in my answers...so probably a little BLAH. Might have to go and revise them a little if inspiration hits me. Not really planning to keep it for longer than the week, so I can't do 5-6 layers of generic pre-fab questions...

CTGirl

10-09-2006, 03:14 PM

Looks are not THE most important part for me...although I think there does have to be some physical attraction. But it just makes me wonder..."why didn't they want me to see their pic", ya know? And I figure if I am showing a pic, then they should too. It really should be mandatory.

Yeah, I don't date male model types, a guy just has to be attractive to ME, which is much different, but it still means I need to see what he looks like. As for this site, it bothers me more when people set it up so you have to wait to see the picture, cuz that seems kinda deceptive to me, like "i want you to get to know me before you see how gross I look." I do often give a chance to guys who just dont have a pic at all, cuz you dont know if maybe they've only been on there a day and just dont have one yet or something.

I wasn't feeling all that creative when I put in my answers...so probably a little BLAH. Might have to go and revise them a little if inspiration hits me. Not really planning to keep it for longer than the week, so I can't do 5-6 layers of generic pre-fab questions...

Yeah, you definitely wanna put your best foot forward, cuz its tough otherwise on a dating site, unless you're relying solely on your dashing good looks, lol.

KCboy

10-09-2006, 03:36 PM

Update:

the next day after completing all that stuff they sent me 3 more matches, so now up to 4. but it's been about a week since then and nothing new.

but I'm not paying so I can't see pics, otherwise they all kinda seem the same. I can't tell if they are similar to me, or if all of our answers are so generic we all seem alike :huge:

I might go for the sign-up, cancel thing. I'm curious to see them.

dddork

10-09-2006, 03:53 PM

350 lbs............................

wordsmith

10-09-2006, 03:54 PM

I felt like everything I got sort of read the same.

HereComes30

10-09-2006, 04:24 PM

Read the same because it is an exact match for your personality profile.

I found it odd that I could not really look outside of that range. Like on other sites you can browse around and I didn't see a way to do that there. I guess because their detailed profile and analysis is supposed to be sooooo accurate.

How much is Match.com? Maybe I will roll the money from the free trial into a month over there. Not really sure why though...I think there are probably better odds that I will meet "the one" when I least expect it...and not even sure how much time I have for dating right now. Maybe it is more because I am 29, single, and want a family in the not too distant future that has me going this route.

wordsmith

10-09-2006, 04:26 PM

Read the same because it is an exact match for your personality profile.

So that means you're gonna be paired up with 20 people who are clones of one another, personality-wise? Nah. I'll pass. I don't really believe that I'm only compatible with one personality type.

I prefer to browse myself rather than have some "formula" browse for me.

HereComes30

10-09-2006, 04:28 PM

I guess the theory is that opposites attract, but people are more likely to last for the long haul if they have a lot in common.

wordsmith

10-09-2006, 04:38 PM

There's a lot of territory that lies in between "opposites attract" and "I'm dating my clone," though.

I personally think that somebody who has everything in common with me is as poor a pairing as my total polar opposite, though (and I don't buy that opposites attract, necessarily). If you are that much the same as somebody, you won't learn from them, they won't learn from you, you won't challenge one another with different perspectives and the like...to me, that's a stronger pairing, right there. Compatibility means complementing one another. Not being the same. Differences are fine, if they can fit together.

WorkInProgress

10-09-2006, 04:40 PM

Differences are fine, if they can fit together.

That's the key. Some differences are fine, for some people. Some differences really are incompatible for some people (ie, personal dealbreakers, if you will).

wordsmith

10-09-2006, 04:47 PM

I think of it in terms of puzzle pieces...they're not the same, but some fit together, and some just don't. That's more what compatibility is about, to me. I wouldn't be happy with somebody who was just like me.

WorkInProgress

10-09-2006, 04:48 PM

I wouldn't be happy with somebody who was just like me.

Nope. That would be both boring and irritating.

wordsmith

10-09-2006, 04:53 PM

Hey, are you saying I'm boring and irritating? :huge:

(don't answer that, I'll ban you)

Really, though, I've determined I'm not interested in dating anybody I'm not gonna learn anything from. I need to be with somebody who's going to help me improve, and vice versa...we need diff. strengths, etc.

WorkInProgress

10-09-2006, 04:56 PM

Heh.

But I'm not dating you. Friends can be as much like me as they wish. ;)

CTGirl

10-09-2006, 05:20 PM

So that means you're gonna be paired up with 20 people who are clones of one another, personality-wise? Nah. I'll pass. I don't really believe that I'm only compatible with one personality type.

I prefer to browse myself rather than have some "formula" browse for me.

You dont get a bunch of people who are "the same" as you, you get people who are compatible with you, and i know that for me at least, there was a pretty good amount of variation among them, and yet all the ones I went out with were very compatible with me at the same time.

I have a habit of picking the wrong guys to date, so for me, having some professional advice was a really fun new strategy to try.