Living with my parents at age 27

[HeyBud]

This is for anyone basically. I still live at home, I am currently unemployed (which I am ok with). I want to get a position in Event Planning/PR, my heart is set on it now. Which means I may leave the DC/Baltimore area if nothing comes up for me in that regards here, and of course it could. I have a lot of money saved and know I wll have the blessing of my parents if I ever needed financial help. It may be a blessing in disguise that I have yet to leave my parents house or, maybe I would be stuck somewhere, in an apt, or house, on a lease that would be hard to get out of and in a position work-wise I'd hate (and I've had a ton of those). But the point of this post is, how do you show a girl that you are a not a loser, by saying you live at home at this age. I am by no means one but there is this horrendous stigma that a guy needs to be out of his age by a certain time (24-26 range), and I am not one to follow the trends but I feel it's a horrible way to live. Afraid to tell a girl you live at home. And yes I have met a couple girls recently, just casually talking to them. But it's a fear that once I tell them I live at home, they will look at me as a loser and a bum. And I don't know how to go about this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[CTGirl]

I've actually dated a guy who was 27 and lived with his mother, lol.

Just tell them why, that you're in a career transition, and you're just living there while you're searching for your next move.

Did you ever live away from home? Did you go away to college? To me, the only cases in which it seems slightly strange is when a guy has never lived anywhere else, cuz that indicates inexperience and possibly immaturity to me (sorry if that's offensive to anyone, just saying what it "seems" like)

If you were 35 or 40, unemplyed and living at home, that would be a lot more serious, but I don't think its that big a deal at your age, and pretty common.

[hoodie]

I wouldn't worry about it just now. Especially if you're considering leaving soon... no need to impress women you won't be seeing anymore!
And if you do decide to stay? Yes there is a stigma. But tell it like it is and you'll weed out some really shallow women for ones who really care for you. (says the girl whose 28 year old long-term boyfriend still lives at his Mom's house.)

Good luck!

[Jedi of Zen]

Hey Bud -

I'm 27, soon to be 28, and have been living at home for a little over 2 years now. I know exactly the fear that you're talking about. It definitely starts to feel embarassing real fast whenever the subject happens to come up in conversation - regardless of who I'm talking to, and especially so with girls. However, most girls that I've talked to openly about it have been very cool about it, and if anything are impressed by 1.) the fact that I am at least working towards a nursing degree (ie, the reason why I moved back home in the first place) - and 2.) I definitely plan on leaving as soon as I'm done with school, girlfriend or no.

Of course, I still have the moments of embarassment, but really there's no way to completely avoid the topic if it comes up, so I just eat humble pie and be honest.

[wordsmith]

If people are going to judge you on that, you don't want 'em, anyway.

Now, I'm not saying that most women are going to jump at a guy who's middle aged and lives with his mom and has no plans of leaving. But that's not what we're talking about here. And if a chick discounts you before even bothering to find out if you're in a temporary situation, forget her.

[CTGirl]

Plus, if a guy lives with his parents, he has to come to me instead of me going to his place, works for me! :razz:

[spokes]

you just might want to make sure that you can take care of yourself (i.e. can you cook, clean, do laundry etc) or do you rely on your parents for that stuff. i would think that people would be accepting of a qlc'r living at home, but it would be uncool if they could not take care of themselves.

[wordsmith]

Plus, if a guy lives with his parents, he has to come to me instead of me going to his place, works for me! :razz:

I found this to also be a decent side benefit.

[Kitty]

I probably wouldn't be thrilled to hear that a potential guy was living at home, but as long as it was temporary I'd be cool with it. What gets me is people who dont' really have any drive/desire/motivation to get a job, be independent, and move out.

[CCrox24]

What gets me is people who dont' really have any drive/desire/motivation to get a job, be independent, and move out.

That's what I don't understand, either. I mean...people say it's about money issues, but just get roommates. That's what most people in their 20s have to do. With that said, I don't think I would want to date a guy living at home with no intention of leaving (aside from taking care of a sick parent, or just a temporary situation).

[PenforPrez]

I'm stuck at home at 26, so I know how you feel. I've never been able to move away. I had to stay at home to go to college; couldn't afford it otherwise. One of the VERY few advantages of my dysfunctional dating life is I've never had a situation where a girl would have to come back to my place. Good thing, because my parents obsess over my love life. :googly:

If people are going to judge you on that, you don't want 'em, anyway.

Now, I'm not saying that most women are going to jump at a guy who's middle aged and lives with his mom and has no plans of leaving. But that's not what we're talking about here. And if a chick discounts you before even bothering to find out if you're in a temporary situation, forget her.

That's my attitude towards that. As far as I'm concerned, if they're not going to be understanding about my living situation, maybe they won't be so understanding about other things. And with me, people have to be understanding.

That's what I don't understand, either. I mean...people say it's about money issues, but just get roommates. That's what most people in their 20s have to do. With that said, I don't think I would want to date a guy living at home with no intention of leaving (aside from taking care of a sick parent, or just a temporary situation).

Not everybody can afford to do a roomate thing. I can't afford it. I wanted to move to St. Louis in a roommate situation, but all the rents I saw had my share at $350-$500 monthly, and I can't afford that, no way, no how. I'd have to get a job better than I have now (I'm still working McJobs 4 years out of college), and that's been nothing but trouble. Not as simple as all that. I intend to leave as soon as I can, but it's not going to be as soon as I'd like. :sad:

Paul

[g8ergal83]

dont worry about it. Explain to her why you're living at home, explain to her that you're not one of those "losers" that lives at home with their parents. (SHOW her also that you're not a loser). I know that people are like.. Oh God, youre how old and you still live at home? Thats just the sterotype. If I actually liked my parents, I'd probably still live at home. At least I would have been able to save more money instead of blowing it on rent. But for me I had to move out. My dad and I dont really get along and my bf and I are living together and that wouldnt have worked if either of us lived at home. (Which NO ONE should do.. live w/ their bf at their parents house. thats just disrespectful. Its like having sex in your parents bed. Ewww. If you're mature enough to live togheter, you should be mature enough to be able to move out. combined rents CAN afford you a place to have sex under your own roof.) Anyway, if she doesnt understand, thats her loss.

[fuzmiq]

I am 25 and female but I feel that push to get out of the house. I had moved out at 21 but the roommate thing didn't work out. I don't actually mind living with my mom, apart from her smoking! (I refuse to get cancer because of someone else's habit...but that is another subject) There is a stigma attached to living at home at a certain age. I do feel weird telling people that I live with my mom. But we are roommates basically. I pay half of everything. So in that sense, I probably should just get one my own age. :)

[LaFille]

I wouldn't worry about it just now. Especially if you're considering leaving soon... no need to impress women you won't be seeing anymore!

my thoughts exactly. if it comes down to it, have a sense of humor about it (that's my mantra.) if you can make a joke about it, you'll be 'that funny guy,' not 'that guy who lives with his mom.'

[coll214]

The guy i'm currently dating had to move home due to circumstances and is now saving for a house. A nuisance, yes, but it's manageable. His younger brother and fiancee also live there in an in-law style apt while in school. Now if it's a situation like my ex where his mommy paid his rent and then he STILL had to move in with them, i'd have issues. But being home for a particular reason isn't that bad.

[cache]

I think in today's world there are too many circumstances for one to be judgmental about another's living habits. I agree that if someone has never lived outside of the folks' house, there might be a missing piece of maturity.

However, there are plenty of situations where it might be necessary. I for one moved back home when my dad got really sick so I could help my mom take care of him.

Or if there is still an underage child in the house, and only one parent, someone might stick around, or the most common one about saving money, paying down student loans, etc.

To me, if someone wants to be critical of someone who is living at home while trying to make a better life for him/herself, that person is not worth having a relationship with...

[PenforPrez]

Yeah, but it worries me how many girls just aren't cool with that. You'd be surprised. I talk to a lot of attached girls who wouldn't date a guy in that situation; they see it as some sort of security issue. And the number of Craigslist ads I see of girls saying "No guys living at home" frightens me. :surprised

Paul

[ma1939]

That's what I don't understand, either. I mean...people say it's about money issues, but just get roommates. That's what most people in their 20s have to do. With that said, I don't think I would want to date a guy living at home with no intention of leaving (aside from taking care of a sick parent, or just a temporary situation). I don't get the whole roommate thing. Why do people consider going from living with your parents to living with a roommate a good thing? I mean you still don't have privacy or independence either way (except that I have a little more privacy living with my folks.)

Women want guys to have their own places, anyway. What am I supposed to tell a girlfriend when I want to make out with her at my apartment, but my roommate is there? "Nevermind him, he's just my roommate and likes to watch. Now let's have sex."? :rolleyes:

[zen_mistress]

I am 29 and living at home. I work as a receptionist despite having a biology degree. Yes, EEEEK pretty much describes it.

I went overseas for 2 years and came back but I didnt handle it all very well and had depression so I ended up coming back and collapsing at my parents house. I hated it, going from being independent to how i ended up being in 04.

2 years down the track im a lot better and plotting my next move and I think that getting out of my parents house would really help. If only I could decide what to do!!!!

anyway good luck to you. It feels a bit weird to be at home I know, but remember it is just a pitstop.

[red]

I don't get the whole roommate thing. Why do people consider going from living with your parents to living with a roommate a good thing? I mean you still don't have privacy or independence either way (except that I have a little more privacy living with my folks.)


living with roomies is totally different than living at home. sorry, but you can pick your roomies. you are all equals and there isn't that parent-child dynamic.

personally, at my age i wouldn't date a guy who lived at home unless there were extraordinary circumstances (a sick relative, etc). i am very independent and i don't think we'd have much in common. i don't think that's judgmental. just like i wouldn't date a smoker. it's natural to want to be with someone who shares my values and interests.