Family Members with Drug Problems/Depression

[AshleyJordan]

Anyone have experience with family members who are either addicts, or extremely depressed, or both? Although I am not very close to my family (I left when I was sixteen, eight years ago,) constant reports of my sister's addiction and other mental problems are very difficult for me to deal with. Having gone to therapy for years myself to sort out my family baggage, I have an idea where this might stem from, and have spoken to her and my parents about options for help, which she consistently refuses. She's twenty and it's very difficult to persuade her to do anything, and the local health care providers leave much to be desired.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

[grneyedmustang]

I feel your pain. I have a brother who's 22, who seems to be turning into an alcoholic. Alcoholism runs in my family, so i'm pretty familiar with the signs.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that college students might experiment with drugs, alcohol, etc. I feel that my brother's drinking is spiraling out of control, though. He's been lying about his drinking, and I've caught him "sneaking -n- drinking". It seems that anytime there's going to be heavy social interaction (parties at school, family get togethers, etc.), he needs to drink (I think he may also have social anxiety disorder). He has also been arrested for DUI because he was so drunk he blacked out in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. He's in denial about how much he drinks.

I've expressed my concern to him about his drinking, but with alcoholics, they have to be ready to take that step. I don't think he's ready, and until he's ready, there's not much I can do.

[Krishna]

Can't speak to alcoholism, but I can speak to depression.

[AshleyJordan]

It's also hard because even if you think you've escaped your family (in my case, by moving eight hours away,) obviously these things still affect you.

[Heroic1]

My parents had a lot of problems, especially when I was very young, and essentially I "grew up" along with them. My mom never did get it together, and she has treated me like her parent for the last six years. I choose not to deal with it very much because she is such a drain on me emotionally, but sometimes it still gets to me. Distance may or may not help; I have lived out of state for the last year and even before I moved away I didn't see her much, but that doesn't always work...she's still always in the back of my mind.

Like someone else said, these people have to want to make changes in their lives. My mom wants someone to "fix" everything for her and that won't happen...it can't.

[AshleyJordan]

After a couple of very heated discussions with my mother today, I've pretty much come to that conclusion. There are a lot of things I wish my parents were doing differently here, but I have done everything I can to try to help my sister, which shouldn't even really be my responsibility. Although I'm not happy with it, I've decided to keep some distance, if only for my own sanity.