felix23
10-05-2006, 09:04 PM
I apologize for the length, I made a “short version” but it doesn’t work.. sorry- and I had to take out some of the earlier part of the story cause of length restrictions
I've known her for almost a year now....we started dating in late May06 only to be derailed by my erratic behavior in late June. She was actually planning to move in with me temporarily while she tried to find a place closer to work- The day before she was about to move her stuff, she came over in a bad mood after being verbally brutalized by her mother. I was looking forward to hanging out that night, I hadn’t seen her in a while, but I was kind of on edge cause I’m slightly manic and I was on a downswing. I was kind of jerk to her and told her I didn’t want to listen to her complain about her mother (who has constantly treated her poorly), I was just kind of on edge that night anyways, she picked up on my attitude and made a b-line for the door and I sort of freaked out trying to get her to stay… yeah it got ugly. Not pretty.
She decided to move in with her Dad instead even though he lived an hour and a half away. I felt like total crap; everything before then had been going really well. The weeks afterwards throughout July, I kind of bottomed out. Drinking all the time, doing poorly at work, Throughout this bottoming out period, we kept in touch and were friendly but never hung out. I got the feeling that she liked having me chase her around for attention but had ruled me out as a boyfriend. I eventually went to get serious help for my manic condition and they got me on some meds that really seemed to help.
So after I got help and got control of myself again, things started going well in my life. I was drinking less, working harder, meeting new people, and I just felt better when I was on the meds. Miss murder and I were still in contact and I would occasionally go over and see her at work and we’d flirt around and it was nice. Then she started suggesting that we get together again sometime. And I was all for it, though I was playing a little hard to get. We went back and forth on making plans, mostly via text messages arrghh!!! She texts incessantly and she will rarely answer a normal phone call.
Anyways not more than a week or so would go by without us interacting in some way, usually by text. Very cat and mouse, I got the feeling that she might be just keeping me in the back pocket and not really serious. But I couldn’t tell completely because I had been progressively elevating my own level of aloofness (playing hard to get). I wouldn’t respond to her messages sometimes, whenever she got a little too flirty I would bring things back down to the friends level. I could tell it was working her up and I liked it. What I really needed was a real date! So I asked her out. Once, twice, finally we were able to arrange something kind of last minute, and I had to go to her work and (I felt) bug her to come hang out with me. By this time it was Mid September, nearly 3 months since we’d last gone out together. And I was excited!!! But I was very much unsure if she was really into me or if she had something else going or what… I was still excited.
She showed up right on time at my place. (I was happy that she was on time, but I was surprised that she was able to make it over so quickly after work, didn’t she need about an hour in the bathroom??) Despite the little worries, I felt really comfortable around her right away, and… well.. we got to talking, flirting, laughing, feeling good (no alcohol or anything at this point) and before I knew it I felt like she was into it and I went for the kiss, Jackpot! I had never felt that she was as into kissing me as she was that night. And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the evening, we were having a blast. We went for a walk later and were pretty much all over each other the whole time. She kept talking about how she missed hanging out with me and how we used to hang out all the time, and what happened what happened what happened to us?? At one point she even agreed to stay over that night with me (she ended up not doing that though, but I had to practically playfully force her off my porch to get her go home). The whole evening was out of dream, keep in mind, I had been broken up over this girl for the better part of three months and now this night that I had wanted so badly for so long was here.
Still running questions in the back of my mind: why did I have to practically do back flips to get her over? she looks hot, but she used to get a lot more made up for me, A BUNCH of early signals that told me she wasn’t planning on enjoying the evening as much as she ended up enjoying it. I kept up the distant/aloof act throughout the date: when she told me she had missed me I told her “I know”. Very playfully, but definitely not as serious as she was being. When she tried to hold my hand I pulled away. I don’t want her to know how badly I missed her.
Wow was I ever in a good mood the next day… the plan… lay low for a few days, let it soak in then ask her out for round two! But what’s this,, a text message on my phone at 5pm the day after the date. “Hey what time are you getting up for work?” Miss Murder is characteristically over-courteous, I know immediately what this means, she wants to hang out again tonight. ------ impulse gut says,, no no no- don’t let this one burn out, pace it, let it linger over the weekend, let her think that this amazing evening had interrupted my busy life without warning (She already thinks that I’m a super busy guy with work and a robust social life.. Haha!) .
So I send back “Not working tomorrow” – I know what this will do, If I don’t take the obvious bate and invite her over she will read the subtext message: “I’m busy I can’t hang out with you tonight”. And this is what I want. I go back to playing video games for the remainder of the Friday evening. I’ll get in touch with her next week and we’ll go out. Damn I think I’m in love,… DID I FUCK UP HERE? READ ON
I spend the weekend feeling great hanging with friends. Tuesday…, I go over to see her at work,, she comes and greets me than scurries back to work at the restaurant, they are busy. She seems sorta uncomfortable/wary, she broke out a bit on her chin, I think she’s self conscious, she shouldn’t be,, I think she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. she is making me a sandwich…. I pay for it up at the front of the restaurant but she never comes back out. I go back to my office across the street. A text on my phone “sorry, we were busy” – so we banter a bit on text, and I ask when she’s getting off work.. but what’s this she throughs off the subject. As soon as I ask when she’s off she fires back with some random question about something I said earlier. Is she avoiding me asking her out? Is she self conscious about her chin or something? What’s going on… I retreat… I don’t respond, finally, she tells me she’s at work until about eight and IMMEDIATELY afterwards repeats her random question thereby parrying my follow up request for a date.. DAMN IT, what’s she doing ?? Conversation fizzles, I’m a bit frustrated but not too upset, I figure maybe she doesn’t want to hang out today but doesn’t want to formally reject my offer. So I don’t make an offer. Fine.
I wait, wait, hoping maybe she’ll get back in touch with me… 6 days go by, Monday I try to call in the morning, no answer. I send her a text telling her to come to work cause I miss her. No answer, her car pulls up at the restaurant around noon and there is nothing on my phone…. whatever… 5pm. She had asked me on “the date” now almost two weeks in the rearview, if I would take her out on my Motorcycle sometime (I just fixed it a few weeks ago) to which I cockily responded “I’ll think about it” with a bratty grin. So it’s five o clock and she’s not getting back to me.. so I send her another text inviting her to meet up with me after work for a late night motorcycle ride. 2 hours go by she responds “2 night?” , It’s getting cold so I counter with,, “It’s getting chilly lets make it tomorrow, I don’t want you to get sick” a few minutes go by and she responds “fine ” .. I push right on with making plans for tomorrow.. “ meet me tomorrow at my place 930, if it’s warm I’ll take you for a ride, if not, we’ll go out or something”
That’s the last text I ever sent to her. The last text she ever sent to me came the next day at 7pm “Hey, I got called into work” This was sent after her car has been in the parking lot since noon. I’m not a stalker, but the parking lot where she parks is right outside of my office so I see her car. Am I to believe that she didn’t know that she would be working tonight? No counter offer—no “why don’t we hang out Wednesday” (she was off on Wednesday) or Saturday. Just a simple “I got called into work” that’s it. My interpretations… NOT INTERESTED = (
Its Thursday now, three weeks since “The date” and 9 days since “Hey, I got called into work”. I have not communicated with her since, and neither she with me. My gut says DO NOT CONTACT HER, SPEND SOME TIME WITH OTHER GIRLS. But I can’t get her out of my head. Everyone I ask for advice seems to feel that I know what I’m doing and not talking to her is the right solution. There is one thing that I know and one thing I don’t.
I know that she has NO IDEA how much or even IF I like her, not even close.
I don’t know how she feels about me, although her recent behavior suggests NOT INTERESTED. Why..??? she must be crazy to not be into me..!!! I’m cool as shit! Seriously the only problem with me is that I’m kind of skinny. But otherwise, I don’t get why she doesn’t seem interested.
I’m sad… that’s the problem. I don’t think I will call her or go see her. I wish she was my girlfriend….that’s all-
Looking for someone who can relate… or maybe has been in a similar situation..
I've known her for almost a year now....we started dating in late May06 only to be derailed by my erratic behavior in late June. She was actually planning to move in with me temporarily while she tried to find a place closer to work- The day before she was about to move her stuff, she came over in a bad mood after being verbally brutalized by her mother. I was looking forward to hanging out that night, I hadn’t seen her in a while, but I was kind of on edge cause I’m slightly manic and I was on a downswing. I was kind of jerk to her and told her I didn’t want to listen to her complain about her mother (who has constantly treated her poorly), I was just kind of on edge that night anyways, she picked up on my attitude and made a b-line for the door and I sort of freaked out trying to get her to stay… yeah it got ugly. Not pretty.
She decided to move in with her Dad instead even though he lived an hour and a half away. I felt like total crap; everything before then had been going really well. The weeks afterwards throughout July, I kind of bottomed out. Drinking all the time, doing poorly at work, Throughout this bottoming out period, we kept in touch and were friendly but never hung out. I got the feeling that she liked having me chase her around for attention but had ruled me out as a boyfriend. I eventually went to get serious help for my manic condition and they got me on some meds that really seemed to help.
So after I got help and got control of myself again, things started going well in my life. I was drinking less, working harder, meeting new people, and I just felt better when I was on the meds. Miss murder and I were still in contact and I would occasionally go over and see her at work and we’d flirt around and it was nice. Then she started suggesting that we get together again sometime. And I was all for it, though I was playing a little hard to get. We went back and forth on making plans, mostly via text messages arrghh!!! She texts incessantly and she will rarely answer a normal phone call.
Anyways not more than a week or so would go by without us interacting in some way, usually by text. Very cat and mouse, I got the feeling that she might be just keeping me in the back pocket and not really serious. But I couldn’t tell completely because I had been progressively elevating my own level of aloofness (playing hard to get). I wouldn’t respond to her messages sometimes, whenever she got a little too flirty I would bring things back down to the friends level. I could tell it was working her up and I liked it. What I really needed was a real date! So I asked her out. Once, twice, finally we were able to arrange something kind of last minute, and I had to go to her work and (I felt) bug her to come hang out with me. By this time it was Mid September, nearly 3 months since we’d last gone out together. And I was excited!!! But I was very much unsure if she was really into me or if she had something else going or what… I was still excited.
She showed up right on time at my place. (I was happy that she was on time, but I was surprised that she was able to make it over so quickly after work, didn’t she need about an hour in the bathroom??) Despite the little worries, I felt really comfortable around her right away, and… well.. we got to talking, flirting, laughing, feeling good (no alcohol or anything at this point) and before I knew it I felt like she was into it and I went for the kiss, Jackpot! I had never felt that she was as into kissing me as she was that night. And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the evening, we were having a blast. We went for a walk later and were pretty much all over each other the whole time. She kept talking about how she missed hanging out with me and how we used to hang out all the time, and what happened what happened what happened to us?? At one point she even agreed to stay over that night with me (she ended up not doing that though, but I had to practically playfully force her off my porch to get her go home). The whole evening was out of dream, keep in mind, I had been broken up over this girl for the better part of three months and now this night that I had wanted so badly for so long was here.
Still running questions in the back of my mind: why did I have to practically do back flips to get her over? she looks hot, but she used to get a lot more made up for me, A BUNCH of early signals that told me she wasn’t planning on enjoying the evening as much as she ended up enjoying it. I kept up the distant/aloof act throughout the date: when she told me she had missed me I told her “I know”. Very playfully, but definitely not as serious as she was being. When she tried to hold my hand I pulled away. I don’t want her to know how badly I missed her.
Wow was I ever in a good mood the next day… the plan… lay low for a few days, let it soak in then ask her out for round two! But what’s this,, a text message on my phone at 5pm the day after the date. “Hey what time are you getting up for work?” Miss Murder is characteristically over-courteous, I know immediately what this means, she wants to hang out again tonight. ------ impulse gut says,, no no no- don’t let this one burn out, pace it, let it linger over the weekend, let her think that this amazing evening had interrupted my busy life without warning (She already thinks that I’m a super busy guy with work and a robust social life.. Haha!) .
So I send back “Not working tomorrow” – I know what this will do, If I don’t take the obvious bate and invite her over she will read the subtext message: “I’m busy I can’t hang out with you tonight”. And this is what I want. I go back to playing video games for the remainder of the Friday evening. I’ll get in touch with her next week and we’ll go out. Damn I think I’m in love,… DID I FUCK UP HERE? READ ON
I spend the weekend feeling great hanging with friends. Tuesday…, I go over to see her at work,, she comes and greets me than scurries back to work at the restaurant, they are busy. She seems sorta uncomfortable/wary, she broke out a bit on her chin, I think she’s self conscious, she shouldn’t be,, I think she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. she is making me a sandwich…. I pay for it up at the front of the restaurant but she never comes back out. I go back to my office across the street. A text on my phone “sorry, we were busy” – so we banter a bit on text, and I ask when she’s getting off work.. but what’s this she throughs off the subject. As soon as I ask when she’s off she fires back with some random question about something I said earlier. Is she avoiding me asking her out? Is she self conscious about her chin or something? What’s going on… I retreat… I don’t respond, finally, she tells me she’s at work until about eight and IMMEDIATELY afterwards repeats her random question thereby parrying my follow up request for a date.. DAMN IT, what’s she doing ?? Conversation fizzles, I’m a bit frustrated but not too upset, I figure maybe she doesn’t want to hang out today but doesn’t want to formally reject my offer. So I don’t make an offer. Fine.
I wait, wait, hoping maybe she’ll get back in touch with me… 6 days go by, Monday I try to call in the morning, no answer. I send her a text telling her to come to work cause I miss her. No answer, her car pulls up at the restaurant around noon and there is nothing on my phone…. whatever… 5pm. She had asked me on “the date” now almost two weeks in the rearview, if I would take her out on my Motorcycle sometime (I just fixed it a few weeks ago) to which I cockily responded “I’ll think about it” with a bratty grin. So it’s five o clock and she’s not getting back to me.. so I send her another text inviting her to meet up with me after work for a late night motorcycle ride. 2 hours go by she responds “2 night?” , It’s getting cold so I counter with,, “It’s getting chilly lets make it tomorrow, I don’t want you to get sick” a few minutes go by and she responds “fine ” .. I push right on with making plans for tomorrow.. “ meet me tomorrow at my place 930, if it’s warm I’ll take you for a ride, if not, we’ll go out or something”
That’s the last text I ever sent to her. The last text she ever sent to me came the next day at 7pm “Hey, I got called into work” This was sent after her car has been in the parking lot since noon. I’m not a stalker, but the parking lot where she parks is right outside of my office so I see her car. Am I to believe that she didn’t know that she would be working tonight? No counter offer—no “why don’t we hang out Wednesday” (she was off on Wednesday) or Saturday. Just a simple “I got called into work” that’s it. My interpretations… NOT INTERESTED = (
Its Thursday now, three weeks since “The date” and 9 days since “Hey, I got called into work”. I have not communicated with her since, and neither she with me. My gut says DO NOT CONTACT HER, SPEND SOME TIME WITH OTHER GIRLS. But I can’t get her out of my head. Everyone I ask for advice seems to feel that I know what I’m doing and not talking to her is the right solution. There is one thing that I know and one thing I don’t.
I know that she has NO IDEA how much or even IF I like her, not even close.
I don’t know how she feels about me, although her recent behavior suggests NOT INTERESTED. Why..??? she must be crazy to not be into me..!!! I’m cool as shit! Seriously the only problem with me is that I’m kind of skinny. But otherwise, I don’t get why she doesn’t seem interested.
I’m sad… that’s the problem. I don’t think I will call her or go see her. I wish she was my girlfriend….that’s all-
Looking for someone who can relate… or maybe has been in a similar situation..