The fling that wasn't...

[Trillian42]

I was in Cancun, Mexico last week where my friends and I met a group of people from Colorado (we're from Indiana) at our resort that we hung out with for much of the week. One of the guys was nice and funny and I had a lot of fun hanging out with him and he was obviously interested in me, too. There was a point at the end of one night, where it was obviously decision time for me, do I go back to his room and spend the night with him, or not? I was attracted to him and I'm sure it would have been great, but there was a nagging voice it my head that said I shouldn't. I ended up turning down the offer, and spent some time pondering my decision. In college, I probably wouldn't have had a second thought as I had gotten to know the guy, and I have had three previous one night stands.

I'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else as they've gotten older (I'm 28 now and been out of college for four years) that they are less willing to take risks that they would previously have taken? I think the nagging voice came from the part of me that thinks about things such as STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and the fact that I knew this guy would not be a LTR for me. Sometimes I miss the more spontaneous me... :sad:

[cache]

I read earlier this year that they discovered the part of the brain that processes risk. This part of the brain doesn't develop until late teens-early 20's. That is why teenagers "make stupid decisions." To me, your decision is not a lack of spontaniety, but rather an assessment of the risks and benefits, which were outweighed by the negatives.

[Winter Storm]

I have never, ever had a one night stand, nor have I ever wanted to. The very idea of having sex with a total stranger makes me wanna puke. :neutral:

[LaFille]

I have never, ever had a one night stand, nor have I ever wanted to. The very idea of having sex with a total stranger makes me wanna puke. :neutral:

me neither. i have made plenty of bad decisions, but that's never been one of them...

[wordsmith]

Not all one-night stands are with strangers, though (or even one-night stands by design, you can't help it if somebody bails).

That said, nope, not a fan, either, and I wouldn't knowingly enter into a fling situation. I've been in things that turned out to be flings, but that wasn't by design, at least not on my end. But I've always been this way. I didn't have a phase where I was cool with it, that I've since grown out of or whatever. I've always been a pretty cautious person, by nature. I've been spontaneous about dating, getting close to somebody, other types of intimacy, but when it comes to sex, I've very, very, very rarely been that kind of spontaneous about it.

[Trillian42]

me neither. i have made plenty of bad decisions, but that's never been one of them...

Actually I would only consider one of my three one night stands a bad decision. The other two were people I had know for a while and we just "hooked up" one night. And quite frankly, I always thought I would be the last person to have a one night stand, and I never "went looking for it".

[Nelzie]

I have only had one one night stand in my life, and it was a few weeks ago. It was a horrible decision on my part. I didn't go out looking for it, nor am I the type of person who ever thought I would do such a thing. It was a mistake and I really regret it. I don't even know how it happened really, I guess I just made a bad decision. Now I have to live with it, but I know it is something I will never, ever do again.

[felix23]

what happens in cancun stays in cancun, just make sure you stay safe!

[The X]

You should have done it.

[labrat2111]

Well it might also have to do with the fact that you've had one night stands before. Almost any activity is more fun and exciting the first few times you do it and then with time you don't have as much fun -- the reward part is diminished.

[Trillian42]

Well it might also have to do with the fact that you've had one night stands before. Almost any activity is more fun and exciting the first few times you do it and then with time you don't have as much fun -- the reward part is diminished.

Yeah, this probably has something to do with it, too. When I had my previous one night stands, it was exciting and I was breaking out of my goody-two-shoes personality. It's not so exciting anymore as I know guys that I could have a one night stand with anytime I want. Not so exciting anymore.

The more I think about it, there are other risks that I am still very willing to take. One of these days I'll finally go skydiving... :huge:

[meatwad]

meatwad's first rule of quick decision making: 'When in doubt, err on the side of caution.'

[madge86]

What part of Indianapolis are you in, Trillian? I'm a northsider, near Broad Ripple...also female, also in later twenties, also risk-deficient. :)

[WorkInProgress]

meatwad's first rule of quick decision making: 'When in doubt, err on the side of caution.'
Yeah, that's my general rule of thumb too.