HELP stupid roommate

[RaeRae]

My roommate does a million things that annoy me big time, but this is the biggest and it just makes me plain angry...

She has a habit of not locking the door when she leaves for the day (and I'm already gone). I've said something to her about this TWICE, and she denied it both times and blew it off like it wasn't a big deal.

I came home today, and the door was unlocked again. What the hell is wrong with her??? I can kinda get past her messiness, slamming doors, and smelling like crap, but this is not acceptable. What more can I do other than tell her because obviously she's too stupid to understand.

I mean, this is a BIG deal... when someone walks in and steals all my crap, I hope she's prepared to pay for it. I know I could get renter's insurance, but if I ever make a claim that'll haunt my credit forever, so I'd rather not.

HELP!!!

[Krishna]

Any way to install a new lock? I once got the kind that is locked 100% of the time from the outside. It was a pain in the rear when you walked down the hall to check the mail, but it was worth it in the longrun.

[WorkInProgress]

Any way to install a new lock? I once got the kind that is locked 100% of the time from the outside. It was a pain in the rear when you walked down the hall to check the mail, but it was worth it in the longrun.

Ooh! Good idea.

[shimma]

My roommate does a million things that annoy me big time, but this is the biggest and it just makes me plain angry...

She has a habit of not locking the door when she leaves for the day (and I'm already gone). I've said something to her about this TWICE, and she denied it both times and blew it off like it wasn't a big deal.

I came home today, and the door was unlocked again. What the hell is wrong with her??? I can kinda get past her messiness, slamming doors, and smelling like crap, but this is not acceptable. What more can I do other than tell her because obviously she's too stupid to understand.

I mean, this is a BIG deal... when someone walks in and steals all my crap, I hope she's prepared to pay for it. I know I could get renter's insurance, but if I ever make a claim that'll haunt my credit forever, so I'd rather not.

HELP!!!

1. I don't know that making an insurance claim haunts your credit.

2. Here is what you do. Leave the house like you're going to work, wait till she leaves, then come back and totally trash the apartment. Don't do permanent damage, but make it look like the place was ransacked. Take out the tv, computers, jewelery boxes, etc, and stash them at a friend's house for a few days. She will come home, think the place got broken into, and be scared shitless. She'll start remembering to lock the door real fast.

3. Seriously consider moving out. Anybody too dumb to lock a door has other major issues going on.

[LaFille]

2. Here is what you do. Leave the house like you're going to work, wait till she leaves, then come back and totally trash the apartment. Don't do permanent damage, but make it look like the place was ransacked. Take out the tv, computers, jewelery boxes, etc, and stash them at a friend's house for a few days. She will come home, think the place got broken into, and be scared shitless. She'll start remembering to lock the door real fast.


ha ha, sounds like something that would happen in a movie :huge:

[shimma]

ha ha, sounds like something that would happen in a movie :huge:

Well, you heard it here first!

Seriously, though, that is what I'd do if I were OP.

[RaeRae]

shimma... that's too funny, and I'm the type of person to do that kind of thing!!


Krishna.. I'm not sure I understant what type of lock you're talking about? The one we have now you need to use a key to lock it from the outside. I'm thinking what you're talking about automatically locks? I was thinking about looking into this and then asking the landlord if I could get a new lock because of dumbass.

[Krishna]

Yep. An auto locking lock. Wow, that statement seemed redundant. But yes. I mean a door that doesnt require a key to lock. One that stays locked unless a key is in there opening it. It works wonderfully.

[winneythepooh7]

1. I don't know that making an insurance claim haunts your credit.

2. Here is what you do. Leave the house like you're going to work, wait till she leaves, then come back and totally trash the apartment. Don't do permanent damage, but make it look like the place was ransacked. Take out the tv, computers, jewelery boxes, etc, and stash them at a friend's house for a few days. She will come home, think the place got broken into, and be scared shitless. She'll start remembering to lock the door real fast.

3. Seriously consider moving out. Anybody too dumb to lock a door has other major issues going on.


Awesome. I love it!

[shimma]

Awesome. I love it!

Then, take a big shit on her pillow.

[embrassezla]

I don't know that making an insurance claim haunts your credit.
It doesn't - not sure where you got that, OP.

[steph78]

Then, take a big shit on her pillow.
Ha - reminds me of my husband's roommate in college when he was living in university-owned apartments. It was my husband and four of his good friends plus this random jerk they got paired with. He thought he was too good to clean up his own messes and expected others to do it for him (when his long-distance girlfriend came to visit him she seriously spent the entire weekend doing his laundry, dishes, etc. while he sat on his ass - so sad because she was really a nice girl). So my husband and his friends eventually got sick of this and anytime asshole roommate left a mess, they would take it and put it under his sheets at the foot of his bed. Dirty dishes, pots and pans, you name it - all went in his bed whenever he left them out for an extended period of time without cleaning up after himself. It worked - he started being more responsible. Wish I could have seen the look on his face the first time he discovered dirty pots and pans under his sheets, i'm sure it was priceless.

[winneythepooh7]

Ha - reminds me of my husband's roommate in college when he was living in university-owned apartments. It was my husband and four of his good friends plus this random jerk they got paired with. He thought he was too good to clean up his own messes and expected others to do it for him (when his long-distance girlfriend came to visit him she seriously spent the entire weekend doing his laundry, dishes, etc. while he sat on his ass - so sad because she was really a nice girl). So my husband and his friends eventually got sick of this and anytime asshole roommate left a mess, they would take it and put it under his sheets at the foot of his bed. Dirty dishes, pots and pans, you name it - all went in his bed whenever he left them out for an extended period of time without cleaning up after himself. It worked - he started being more responsible. Wish I could have seen the look on his face the first time he discovered dirty pots and pans under his sheets, i'm sure it was priceless.

I was a total biotch in college to this girl who lived in my suite and her boyfriend. The boyfriend used to leave his shit in our bathroom sinks for days. One time I got so pissed off I stacked it in front of her door. He opened it in the middle of the night to take a piss in our bathroom and tripped over it and fell. I know, I'm evil, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get your point across.

[jrwilheim]

My roommate does a million things that annoy me big time, but this is the biggest and it just makes me plain angry...

She has a habit of not locking the door when she leaves for the day (and I'm already gone). I've said something to her about this TWICE, and she denied it both times and blew it off like it wasn't a big deal.

I came home today, and the door was unlocked again. What the hell is wrong with her??? I can kinda get past her messiness, slamming doors, and smelling like crap, but this is not acceptable. What more can I do other than tell her because obviously she's too stupid to understand.

I mean, this is a BIG deal... when someone walks in and steals all my crap, I hope she's prepared to pay for it. I know I could get renter's insurance, but if I ever make a claim that'll haunt my credit forever, so I'd rather not.

HELP!!!

First of all, making a claim on renter's insurance will NOT affect your credit. Your credit score is a reflection of how well you have paid your debt obligations, period. Insurance claims do not affect your credit score.

Who has the lease to the apartment? Is it your apartment in which she sublets, or do you share it jointly? If the former, I would read her the riot act and make clear that if she doesn't stop neglecting to lock the door, she cannot continue living in the apartment. If both your names are on the lease, I don't really know what your options are, but you might be better off finding a different living situation. I would not put up with a roommate who didn't have enough concern for the apartment's safety to lock the doors on his or her way out.

[asm198]

Just wanted to say that an insurance claim does not hurt your credit. My fiance's family has been in the insurance business forever. We've had to make various claims over the years and his dad (who is our agent), has never told us not to file a claim. Your credit report doesn't involve insurance claims, only debts. Your insurance MIGHT go up if you file a claim, but that's dependent on various factors.

I would have a serious discussion with your roommate about this. And talk to your landlord about installing a new lock.

[Fashionista]

Ha - reminds me of my husband's roommate in college when he was living in university-owned apartments. It was my husband and four of his good friends plus this random jerk they got paired with. He thought he was too good to clean up his own messes and expected others to do it for him (when his long-distance girlfriend came to visit him she seriously spent the entire weekend doing his laundry, dishes, etc. while he sat on his ass - so sad because she was really a nice girl). So my husband and his friends eventually got sick of this and anytime asshole roommate left a mess, they would take it and put it under his sheets at the foot of his bed. Dirty dishes, pots and pans, you name it - all went in his bed whenever he left them out for an extended period of time without cleaning up after himself. It worked - he started being more responsible. Wish I could have seen the look on his face the first time he discovered dirty pots and pans under his sheets, i'm sure it was priceless.

LMAO!!! that was a good idea!

[Fashionista]

I was a total biotch in college to this girl who lived in my suite and her boyfriend. The boyfriend used to leave his shit in our bathroom sinks for days. One time I got so pissed off I stacked it in front of her door. He opened it in the middle of the night to take a piss in our bathroom and tripped over it and fell. I know, I'm evil, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get your point across.

You're not evil. he got exactly what he had coming. LOL too funny though!

[jrwilheim]

I was a total biotch in college to this girl who lived in my suite and her boyfriend. The boyfriend used to leave his shit in our bathroom sinks for days. One time I got so pissed off I stacked it in front of her door. He opened it in the middle of the night to take a piss in our bathroom and tripped over it and fell. I know, I'm evil, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get your point across.

I had a roommate do something similar to me once in college. This roommate was absolutely anal retentive about kitchen cleanliness and didn't want me to leave dishes to soak overnight. I really let him have it one time when he left a huge pot, that I had left to soak overnight, in front of my door and I tripped over it going to the bathroom. Amazing how he cared so much about not having bacteria, etc., in the kitchen but didn't care about leaving a dirty pot right in front of my door where ants could get into and all over it.

[Krishna]

I had several roommates who said they were going to clean up their dishes "the next day." Here's what I did:

I let the dishes sit there for 2-3 days. If they remained there, I did one of 2 things: 1-if it was his/her personal dish, I left it alone. 2-if it was something that belonged to me (esp. my nice pots and pans) I washed it myself, and it promptly got placed into storage in one of my closets. Eventually, they started to realize that if they weren't going to clean my things after they used them, they'd lose the right to use that item. They were super mad at me, but it saved me trouble in the longrun- ie purchasing an entirely new set of supplies for my kitchen!

[winneythepooh7]

I had a roommate do something similar to me once in college. This roommate was absolutely anal retentive about kitchen cleanliness and didn't want me to leave dishes to soak overnight. I really let him have it one time when he left a huge pot, that I had left to soak overnight, in front of my door and I tripped over it going to the bathroom. Amazing how he cared so much about not having bacteria, etc., in the kitchen but didn't care about leaving a dirty pot right in front of my door where ants could get into and all over it.

Well, these dishes weren't just sitting to soak overnight. They belonged to someone who didn't even live in our suite, and they cluttered up our bathroom for days on end. He used to leave them during week breaks away too, totally disgusting. I like Krishna's idea too of putting her stuff away.

[jrwilheim]

I had several roommates who said they were going to clean up their dishes "the next day." Here's what I did:

I let the dishes sit there for 2-3 days. If they remained there, I did one of 2 things: 1-if it was his/her personal dish, I left it alone. 2-if it was something that belonged to me (esp. my nice pots and pans) I washed it myself, and it promptly got placed into storage in one of my closets. Eventually, they started to realize that if they weren't going to clean my things after they used them, they'd lose the right to use that item. They were super mad at me, but it saved me trouble in the longrun- ie purchasing an entirely new set of supplies for my kitchen!

The same year I was living in the suite with that guy who was anal about bacteria in the kitchen, stuff kept disappearing out of the kitchen, to the point where I couldn't find any bowls, glasses, etc. that were mine. When they reappeared, I started keeping them on my bookshelf just to make sure they would be there.

That same anal guy flipped out at me when, after winter break, I didn't turn into Mr. Clean the day he told me he was returning to the suite. I was the only one staying in the suite over break, and the place had been left a complete wreck for me. I didn't feel any sense of obligation to be their maid.

A mutual friend asked me why I didn't keep in touch with any of these people--gee I, wonder why.

[RaeRae]

oh man, these are excellent stories... keep the horrible roommate stories coming, they make me feel not so alone in this!

[slacker00]

In college, I rented a house with 5 others whom I didn't know well. At some point the kitchen seemed to pile up with dirty dishes and trash to the point that I didn't even eat at the house anymore. I didn't spend a lot of time at the house anyway, and there's nothing more disgusting than trying to prepare food amidst utter filth.

One day, the odor in the house was especially bad, and I tracked it back to the kitchen. There were black flies all over in there, and the stench was unreal. I noticed flies buzzing in a pile of dirty dishes and looked to see maggots wriggling around in the bottom of an unwashed pot that was half-full of some kind of leftover noodles. I just started shouting. I lost it. Maggots in the kitchen crosses the line.

[BlueEyedFunOne]

Luckily, my new roommate cleans up after himself and keeps the place pretty tidy.

But the kid is a COMPLETE douchebag. He has some kind of chip on his shoulder and has serious social problems. He leaves the room when I try to talk to him and says really inappropriate things to my friends, making them feel uncomfortable when they come over. He even tries to boss me around, but I tell him to F off.

He was really, really cool in the beginning...and I'm not sure what happened. Honestly, he's a jerk and I really don't care...I'm moving out in March :rolleyes:

[Ciderhillnh]

My new roomy seems to have the same issues with locking the door. We have a lock on the door handle and a dead bolt.
She once came home late and didnt lock anything. I was pissed and told her.....
From then it hasnt happened but she has forgotten to lock the dead bolt. Like when I can home this weekend. Lights on all over the house and the dead bolt not locked. Sure the alarm was on, but no dead bolt makes it easier to break in.

SO I approached her for the third time, and said okay, what can we do to make it so this doesnt happen again?
She suggested putting a note at the door to remind her....fine, lets try that.

And before anyone suggests maybe finding another living situation, I own the place, so I cant and wont go anywhere.

[WorkInProgress]

I second the note on the door (at eye-level) reminding the roommate to lock the deadbolt.

[BlueEyedFunOne]

I second the note on the door (at eye-level) reminding the roommate to lock the deadbolt.

I do the same with turning off the heat or AC. Else, I'll leave it running and the bills will be through the roof.

[dostoy]

I had a roommate do something similar to me once in college. This roommate was absolutely anal retentive about kitchen cleanliness and didn't want me to leave dishes to soak overnight. I really let him have it one time when he left a huge pot, that I had left to soak overnight, in front of my door and I tripped over it going to the bathroom. Amazing how he cared so much about not having bacteria, etc., in the kitchen but didn't care about leaving a dirty pot right in front of my door where ants could get into and all over it.
Uh oh you're a bad roommate you'd better duck and cover.

[dostoy]

I don't like doing dishes but in college I'd buy my roommates beer, so we had an understanding.

[wordsmith]

I don't like doors that lock automatically sans key. It's just a recipe for me getting locked out getting the mail or going downstairs to check laundry, and my landlord isn't often onsite if I have a lockout. I'm super glad my current apt. has a door I have to manually lock.

I had a roommate once who would freak out if the door wasn't locked WHEN WE WERE HOME. She also wouldn't let the curtains on our sliding balcony door be open at night, "because people can see in and see what we're doing." What's up, paranoid?"

[dostoy]

I don't like doors that lock automatically sans key. It's just a recipe for me getting locked out getting the mail or going downstairs to check laundry, and my landlord isn't often onsite if I have a lockout. I'm super glad my current apt. has a door I have to manually lock.

I had a roommate once who would freak out if the door wasn't locked WHEN WE WERE HOME. She also wouldn't let the curtains on our sliding balcony door be open at night, "because people can see in and see what we're doing." What's up, paranoid?"
Maybe she had an intruder once, that happened to a girl I know she was raped and she became super paranoid about locking up and such, understandably.

[wordsmith]

Nope. Not the case.

[WorkInProgress]

Or grew up in a household where that stuff is a big deal. Although if she totally freaked out over it, that would be annoying.

[wordsmith]

TOTALLY freaked out over it. "OH MY GOD, close the curtain!"

Um, we lived WAY off the roadway, not on ground floor, not around other units that faced those windows...I don't know who these people were looking in our sliding door from afar.

[WorkInProgress]

TOTALLY freaked out over it. "OH MY GOD, close the curtain!"

Um, we lived WAY off the roadway, not on ground floor, not around other units that faced those windows...I don't know who these people were looking in our sliding door from afar.

Yep, that's obnoxious.

[shimma]

I had a roommate once who would freak out if the door wasn't locked WHEN WE WERE HOME. She also wouldn't let the curtains on our sliding balcony door be open at night, "because people can see in and see what we're doing." What's up, paranoid?"

I dunno... sometimes people from higher-crime areas (even if they've never had their house broken into) usually are less trusting that their environment is safe and/or know someone that's happened to.

I have been home when my house got broken into, and it was the scariest thing ever. Since then, my door is locked and bolted at all times.

[dostoy]

Something like 1 in 2 girls will get raped at some point in their lives, with stats like that I'd lock up if I were you.

[Kitty]

I grew up never really locking doors. I didn't even have a key to my own house growing up.

Now, I do lock everything - but that's been ingrained in me by all my roommates and boyfriends.

[wordsmith]

[QUOTE=shimma]I dunno... sometimes people from higher-crime areas (even if they've never had their house broken into) usually are less trusting that their environment is safe and/or know someone that's happened to. /QUOTE]

Again, doesn't apply to this person.

[CTGirl]

Something like 1 in 2 girls will get raped at some point in their lives, with stats like that I'd lock up if I were you.

It's nowhere near that high. They said on the news this morning that 1 in 4 are "sexually assaulted" at some point.

[wordsmith]

I grew up never really locking doors. I didn't even have a key to my own house growing up.

Now, I do lock everything - but that's been engrained in me by all my roommates and boyfriends.

My parents' house is still never locked. That's how it works with no neighbors for miles.

[wordsmith]

It's nowhere near that high. They said on the news this morning that 1 in 4 are "sexually assaulted" at some point.

It's def. nowhere near that high, and it's also far more likely that if you are raped, it's by somebody you know and place yourself into a situation with than an intruder who got into your home because you left the door unlocked.
Most rapes are not by strangers and intruders.

[Kitty]

Ingrained!! I swear, my keyboard is on its last leg.

[WorkInProgress]

It's nowhere near that high. They said on the news this morning that 1 in 4 are "sexually assaulted" at some point.
I can't remember--is that statistic for the world over, or just the US?

[shimma]

My parents' house is still never locked. That's how it works with no neighbors for miles.

I grew up never really locking doors. I didn't even have a key to my own house growing up.

Wow. My parents - and everyone I grew up with's parents - have been locking their doors, had an alarm, etc for as long as I can remember. I'm not from an economic boomtown, but it's certainly not the ghetto either.

[Chameleon]

I had a roommate once who would freak out if the door wasn't locked WHEN WE WERE HOME. She also wouldn't let the curtains on our sliding balcony door be open at night, "because people can see in and see what we're doing." What's up, paranoid?"
Maybe she was raised that way. It's a privacy issue. We never had the curtains open at night at our house at night and there is no way you can see if someone is watching however improbable that is; kinda creepy if you ask me. I've not been raped or stalked but I don't see why I have to be to think to protect myself or want to feel comfortable in my own home.

[embrassezla]

Yeah, I'm super uncomfortable leaving my door unlocked even when I'm home. My neighborhood is relatively safe, but there have been incidents that I'm not willing to chance happening again.

[wordsmith]

I still think and thought and will continue to think it's paranoid.

[Ciderhillnh]

I have all the shades drawn when its dark out and I ALWAYS lock the door when I leave the house and when Im home.

I don’t live in a HIGH crime area, but Id rather not take the chance.

On the show 'it takes a theif' on the discovery channel, they always show that people will just take a chance and try a door, if its unlocked its like an open invitation, even if people are home or not.

Id rather be SAFE than sorry.

[WorkInProgress]

Wow. My parents - and everyone I grew up with's parents - have been locking their doors, had an alarm, etc for as long as I can remember. I'm not from an economic boomtown, but it's certainly not the ghetto either.

Me too, except for the alarm bit. The parents have one in the current home, but don't set it. We have three dogs, two of which are quite large, and all of which bark at strangers. I'm not afraid of someone breaking in. We never use the front door, so it's always locked. The garage door is always down if we're not home, and the sliding glass door is usually locked unless someone is outside. But we don't live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors, and never have. (When they do, because they will, eventually, I expect they'll still lock everything pretty much all the time. That's the way they are.) And curtains are closed at night but that's mostly for insulation and to keep light out and nobody has a fit over it if they're not closed.

I think the odd behavior in WS's example was having a fit over stuff like that, when it was clearly not as big a deal in her locale as it is in some of ours. And that, I can understand and would find annoying as well.

[wordsmith]

I think the odd behavior in WS's example was having a fit over stuff like that, when it was clearly not as big a deal in her locale as it is in some of ours. And that, I can understand and would find annoying as well.

Yup, seriously. Not a dangerous place. At all.

[embrassezla]

It depends where you live, though. In my community, there was an incident very recently where a man came to someone's door asking to use the phone, and when the woman said no, he forced his way in, not knowing that her husband was home. He pinned the guy & waited for the cops. When they got there, they found a tube of KY in his pocket.

Paranoia implies pathology, and I don't see anything "baseless" about my need to feel secure.

[dostoy]

Plus ws, maybe she was raped and doesn't want to tell you, sometimes girls deny it and don't report it and think it's their fault, which is unfortunate but 50% of rapes go unreported.

[Ciderhillnh]

Personally I just think its smart to be safe and take safety precautions no matter WHERE you live.

When I lived alone for 10 months, I would set the alarm for "stay" when Id walk through the door….just so if I was taking a shower or whatever, there was that added barrier just in case.

Ive never been broken into, never been stalked or had a peeping tom, and never been sexually assaulted, I was just taught and brought up to be prepared BEFORE something might happen.

Just like when I drive at night I lock my car doors, and I don’t walk alone in the city.

[Chameleon]

This thread tangent reminded me of one of my favorite posters that one of my suitemates had in college that read "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They Are Not Watching You" :huge:

[g8ergal83]

get renters insurance and make sure it covers a roommate not locking the door. end of story.