Ex. Photos on Computer

[MidwestGrl79]

Hi,

My new boyfriend and I were looking on his computer at some photos he had taken over the weekend. I happened to notice folders of photos on the side of his screen. They were titled "family" or certain events, birthdays, etc., but then I saw a folder with the title of his ex girlfriend's name! I didn't ask him about it at the time, because I thought that in this day and age, people don't keep physical albums, and she was a part of his past, but it seemed weird. Since then, I can't shake the feeling of weirdness. Should I confront him, or am I just reading too much into this? They broke up over two years ago, and she has since married someone else. Any thoughts?

[winneythepooh7]

Hi,

My new boyfriend and I were looking on his computer at some photos he had taken over the weekend. I happened to notice folders of photos on the side of his screen. They were titled "family" or certain events, birthdays, etc., but then I saw a folder with the title of his ex girlfriend's name! I didn't ask him about it at the time, because I thought that in this day and age, people don't keep physical albums, and she was a part of his past, but it seemed weird. Since then, I can't shake the feeling of weirdness. Should I confront him, or am I just reading too much into this? They broke up over two years ago, and she has since married someone else. Any thoughts?


If they have broken up over 2 years ago, and she has since married someone else, I don't think you have anything to worry about. When I first started dating my fiance he has pics of his ex in his desk. He just never got around to throwing them out. I've also dated guys in the past where it was the same thing. I think I actually have a box somewhere that has photos of some of the guys I've dated in the past. I also have one of them on my Myspace. No biggy.

[WorkInProgress]

If they have broken up over 2 years ago, and she has since married someone else, I don't think you have anything to worry about. When I first started dating my fiance he has pics of his ex in his desk. He just never got around to throwing them out. I've also dated guys in the past where it was the same thing. I think I actually have a box somewhere that has photos of some of the guys I've dated in the past. I also have one of them on my Myspace. No biggy.

I agree. I don't think it's a big deal.

However, if it really really bothers you, maybe talk to him about it. (Nicely. In a non-confrontational, non-accusatory manner.) It's better than you stewing and getting resentful.

[PenforPrez]

If they have broken up over 2 years ago, and she has since married someone else, I don't think you have anything to worry about. When I first started dating my fiance he has pics of his ex in his desk. He just never got around to throwing them out.

I have photos of my ex-girlfriend that broke up with me four years ago on my computer. For the very same reason: I never threw them out. I don't have any special emotional attachment to them. Just didn't want to mess with it.

Paul

[cache]

I keep all sorts of stuff like that...its memories.

...as long as it makes it through the "destroy any trace of this woman" phase :huge:

[wordsmith]

I have photos and memorabilia from probably anybody I was ever seriously involved with in a shoebox in my closet. People keep things, it's just kind of something that happens. I'd certainly never get rid of them.

[old_school_soul]

Get over it. My sister and I were looking at a photo album and she has pictures of her high school/college boyfriends, and she's married and has two kids.

[embrassezla]

I wouldn't worry about photos kept electronically, or in an out-of-sight place. When I first started dating my SO, and through the first few months of our relationship, he had a picture of his ex on his NIGHTSTAND. Yeah. I encouraged him to let that one go.

[wordsmith]

Keeping stuff from long-dead relationships on display in places of honor is, yeah, prob. a sign that somebody's not over somebody. Just keeping stuff, though, not necessarily the case.

[MidwestGrl79]

Thanks for all of your advice. It's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, and it WOULD be a lot different if her picture was on display somewhere. I think one of the problems I was having, was that my boyfriend had said the previous week that he had backed up his photos, putting them on cds, and I would think he would have deleted her file after that. We all have those old boxes of pictures, but with computer files, every time he opens up his photos, her file is shown with all of the others. It was a bad breakup, and it looks like it would be one more reminder for him.

[Krishna]

I guess I could go both ways on this. On the one hand, I get slightly annoyed when I find pictures of girls on my boyfriends computer (granted these aren't ex-girlfriends, they are *other* pictures of variously clothed girls). On the other hand, I would have to take it all in stride, because there's a reason that he's with you, and not his ex.