whats your guys take on this

[fearlesss]

this girl that I'm talking to keeps bringing up a vaction trip (some time next yr)with some co workers and she does not have anyone to go with right now. is she hinting? I mean I haven't known her very long so its wayyyy to soon to be like I'll go (it is someplace I'd like to go though. or it could be just conversation.

[CTGirl]

If she is repeatedly mentioning that she is going on a trip and needs someone to go with, then yes, I think it's safe to say that she's prolly hinting at wanting you to volunteer.

[Krishna]

Just make sure that this girl is someone you want to go with, and that it isnt just about the destination. Could be an awkward trip if you end up not liking her.

[fearlesss]

Just make sure that this girl is someone you want to go with, and that it isnt just about the destination. Could be an awkward trip if you end up not liking her.
no kidding and thats why I haven't volunteer. I've just made comments like thats sounds like fun etc but haven't expressed an interest just b/c we barely know each other . I've known her about 2 weeks and we've been out a couple times but talked alot on the the phone. Could I like her? yes but it's farrrr to ea

[Jedi of Zen]

Hmm. If the trip is going to happen sometime next year, then you probably have at least a little bit of time to feel things out first. If things continue to pan out well, and she still seems interested in finding a tag-along, then I would just continue to casually drop those "Hey, are you still taking that vacation to X? Boy, that sure sounds like fun!" sort of comments.

Where's she going, anyway? If you feel comfortable saying, that is...

[dengeist]

Yeah, just put it out there that you're interested in going. Say something like, "A trip to __________ sounds nice. I always wanted to go there. I heard __________ was nice in ___________." Let that marinate. At least you put it out there.

I went on a trip to Puerto Rico with a girl I just broke up with. It's not the end of the world. I've travelled with people I didn't like before too. You're not obliged to do everything with them. It is nice to have someone you can relate to every once in a while though.

[weary]

Yeah, just put it out there that you're interested in going. Say something like, "A trip to __________ sounds nice. I always wanted to go there. I heard __________ was nice in ___________." Let that marinate. At least you put it out there.

I went on a trip to Puerto Rico with a girl I just broke up with. It's not the end of the world. I've travelled with people I didn't like before too. You're not obliged to do everything with them. It is nice to have someone you can relate to every once in a while though.

dengeist, did you go with her AFTER you broke up? [if so,] that wasn't weird/uncomfortable?

[dengeist]

dengeist, did you go with her AFTER you broke up? [if so,] that wasn't weird/uncomfortable?

Yeah, right AFTER we broke up. We discussed it and decided it was a waste of money not to go ($500-something each). Plane tickets were non-refundable. We got two twin beds instead of one king size bed. We both agreed that we didn't have to spend very much time together while we were there and we stuck to that. She fell asleep in a canoe and got the worst case of sunburn I ever saw on a human being, probably wouldn't have happend if I was there. I felt a little bad about that, but we weren't together, technically.

Yes, it was kind of weird, particularly when it came to the sex part and seeing each other get dressed and stuff. She looked good with the tanlines before she turned into lobsterwoman. Ummm...tanlines. But after the sunburn, I kinda had to do stuff alone anyway.

But it was an affable breakup, not an "I hate you!" break up. So it was tolerable. Most of my break ups are affable, even though I don't believe in being friends after a break-up, money was a motivator in that case.

[wordsmith]

That would suck a lot for me, and ruin the trip. So it would be wasted $$$ anyway. I'd probably just have not gone, had it been me, to be honest.

[MetFanL]

That would suck a lot for me, and ruin the trip. So it would be wasted $$$ anyway. I'd probably just have not gone, had it been me, to be honest.
Me too. Or, I'd end up doing something stupid with the guy and end up in worse shape than when we started. Of course, I don't need to go on vacation to scr*w things up royally... I can do that just fine right here.

[dengeist]

Me too. Or, I'd end up doing something stupid with the guy and end up in worse shape than when we started. Of course, I don't need to go on vacation to scr*w things up royally... I can do that just fine right here.

That probably would've happend, but the sunburn saved me. It was like day one, we did our separate things. Day two, she looked really good, but said, "I don't feel good." then later that day I said, "Your skin is peeling." Days 3, 4, 5, 6. She stayed in the hotel shedding. Day 7 we went home.

I would've done something stupid if she just had a normal tan. We discussed that months later. She would've too.

And now that I think about it, that probably would've ruined my vacation, if I was with her and that happend.

[wordsmith]

Yeah...I'm real big on the "not setting the stage for doing something stupid" factor. My emotions require more armor than that.

[steph78]

Oh, dengeist, your post made me laugh. I went to Puerto Rico on my honeymoon. And got ridiculously sunburned on like Day 4 when we went out snorkeling. (Note: REAPPLY sunscreen every time you get out of the water - it is not as waterproof as it claims to be!) It was pretty painful and definitely put a damper on certain honeymoon activities for a few days. :rolleyes: But my husband was really nice and rubbed aloe on my back for the rest of the trip.

You're not the first person I've heard that's gone on a trip after recently breaking up. One of my husband's grad school friends was in a really serious relationship and the girl's parents gave them a trip to San Francisco for spring break. All the tickets were paid for and reservations made...and then they broke up. But they still went on the trip! I think they did separate things for most of the day like you. Of course they were in a worse situation in that they were living together and their lease was not up for like three or four more months (hard to move in Feb. when you live in a college area - most leases run June to June) and so they continued LIVING together that long after having broken up...very awkward.

[dengeist]

Oh, dengeist, your post made me laugh. I went to Puerto Rico on my honeymoon. And got ridiculously sunburned on like Day 4 when we went out snorkeling. (Note: REAPPLY sunscreen every time you get out of the water - it is not as waterproof as it claims to be!) It was pretty painful and definitely put a damper on certain honeymoon activities for a few days. :rolleyes: But my husband was really nice and rubbed aloe on my back for the rest of the trip.

You're not the first person I've heard that's gone on a trip after recently breaking up. One of my husband's grad school friends was in a really serious relationship and the girl's parents gave them a trip to San Francisco for spring break. All the tickets were paid for and reservations made...and then they broke up. But they still went on the trip! I think they did separate things for most of the day like you. Of course they were in a worse situation in that they were living together and their lease was not up for like three or four more months (hard to move in Feb. when you live in a college area - most leases run June to June) and so they continued LIVING together that long after having broken up...very awkward.

Fortunately for me, I don't burn that easily. But then again I didn't fall asleep in a canoe for four hours. ;) But she was seriously out of commission, just like you. I got her some Gold Bond, that was pretty much all I could do.

It really wasn't that bad though.

[steph78]

Yeah, at least it was JUST my back that was burned (we were snorkeling) and not any of the rest of me. My arms, legs, and face were fine. So I wasn't totally out of commission or anything, just a little uncomfortable.

[KCboy]

if you want to go with her, tell her you're jealous.

or make a joke about, "If I was with you on that trip..."

[dengeist]

Yeah, at least it was JUST my back that was burned (we were snorkeling) and not any of the rest of me. My arms, legs, and face were fine. So I wasn't totally out of commission or anything, just a little uncomfortable.

Ha! No she flipped herself over in her sleep!

How were those cookies, BTW?

[steph78]

How were those cookies, BTW?
Mmmm, they were good - ummy yummers as I like to say. They're long gone, though - I made them in January! Thanks again, secret Santa! :huge:

[BOLD]

fearlesss, could she perhaps be testing the seriousness of the relationship by seeing if you will commit to something with her that is scheduled so far down the road? If you’re unsure about where you two will be by then, ignore her comment, and start thinking about what you'd say if she decides to invite you outright.

I dated this girl once who's mother invited us down to her summer condo with her for a week....long story short, we broke up, she told her mother that we broke up, her mother uninvited her, then calls me and says her daughter is not coming to the condo, but there is no reason I shouldn't come down and hang out with her (the mother). I graciously declined her invitation, and apparently the mother made her feel like crap for a while, because we broke up.

[stonemonkey]

I dated this girl once who's mother invited us down to her summer condo with her for a week....long story short, we broke up, she told her mother that we broke up, her mother uninvited her, then calls me and says her daughter is not coming to the condo, but there is no reason I shouldn't come down and hang out with her (the mother).

Oh man, that sounds so wrong. That's seven shades of wrong.

[Krishna]

Oh man, that sounds so wrong. That's seven shades of wrong.

Only seven shades?

[fearlesss]

if you want to go with her, tell her you're jealous.

or make a joke about, "If I was with you on that trip..."


Thats kinda what I did and her reply was well, maybe you can come. to which mine was maybe, we'll have to see.