3rd Date Blues

[veniq]

Can anyone come up with reasons why I rarely get beyond a third date with a guy?

[WorkInProgress]

Could be any number of reasons, some having to do with you, and some with them. But it would random guessing at this point, since I don't really know you.

[enigma]

Well, there are a lot of really nice people on here who give great advice.

If you could give us all a bit more information I am sure we could give you some idea as to what is going on.

Maybe give us a few examples, or tell us about your last date?

[wordsmith]

Def. need more background, details.

[KCboy]

how to put this tactfully?

um...physical...affection? (or lack thereof)

how far you taking things?

[CTGirl]

how to put this tactfully?

um...physical...affection? (or lack thereof)

how far you taking things?

lol, wow, what a stereotypical "male" response :googly:

[LaFille]

sometimes i get bored after a couple dates. or i realize i was bored the entire time and that my judgement was clouded by physical attraction.

[KCboy]

lol, wow, what a stereotypical "male" response :googly:

hey!

that could go either way.

it's possible to hold back too much, but it's also possible to give too much too soon.

If the first 2 dates are a romp in the sack, I could see why they never make it to a 3rd.

[CTGirl]

hey!

that could go either way.

it's possible to hold back too much, but it's also possible to give too much too soon.

If the first 2 dates are a romp in the sack, I could see why they never make it to a 3rd.

I know, I was just givin you a hard time. I've had guys mess this up too, in both directions.

[spokes]

hey!

that could go either way.

it's possible to hold back too much, but it's also possible to give too much too soon.

If the first 2 dates are a romp in the sack, I could see why they never make it to a 3rd.

i would completely disagree with this assement - if i am feeling connected to someone and getting to know and they are putting in the same effort in getting to know me, i'd wait it out (i should also note that i am not adverse to having a go at each other right out of the blocks either). I just enver pout a timeline on tse things, they happen when they happen.

[cache]

i would completely disagree with this assement - if i am feeling connected to someone and getting to know and they are putting in the same effort in getting to know me, i'd wait it out (i should also note that i am not adverse to having a go at each other right out of the blocks either). I just enver pout a timeline on tse things, they happen when they happen.

Perhaps in the past for me, but now, I like to take things slower. Even if I am feeling it, I want to wait...at least a little. I may miss my window, but if so, why would I want to stay in the house?

[CTGirl]

i would completely disagree with this assement - if i am feeling connected to someone and getting to know and they are putting in the same effort in getting to know me, i'd wait it out (i should also note that i am not adverse to having a go at each other right out of the blocks either). I just enver pout a timeline on tse things, they happen when they happen.

Agreed, but sometimes "waiting it out" can get ridiculous :googly: . I think the key is being on the same page as the other person with regard to the pace of things.

[LaFille]

Agreed, but sometimes "waiting it out" can get ridiculous :googly: . I think the key is being on the same page as the other person with regard to the pace of things.

i agree you should be on the same page, or at least aware of the other person's page.

call me old fashioned, but i still think 3 dates is not enough time for me to get to know someone well engough that i will sleep with them. at least i've never had that feeling before, and i kinda doubt i ever will.

i also tend to overthink things and worry that i'll end up on maury.

[CTGirl]

call me old fashioned, but i still think 3 dates is not enough time for me to get to know someone well engough that i will sleep with them. at least i've never had that feeling before, and i kinda doubt i ever will.

I don't really have a rule for this, I just like to let things go with the flow. As a very impatient person who tends to throw herself head first into a relationship from day one, I tend to not choose to wait on things too long, but as long as things are going well, I can wait for certain things ;)

i also tend to overthink things and worry that i'll end up on maury.

lol, LaFille, you crack me up :huge:

[dddork]

i can tell you why.. but i m gonna get a** whooped!

[J-girl]

i would completely disagree with this assement - if i am feeling connected to someone and getting to know and they are putting in the same effort in getting to know me, i'd wait it out (i should also note that i am not adverse to having a go at each other right out of the blocks either). I just enver pout a timeline on tse things, they happen when they happen.
100% Agreed.

[KCboy]

i would completely disagree with this assement - if i am feeling connected to someone and getting to know and they are putting in the same effort in getting to know me, i'd wait it out (i should also note that i am not adverse to having a go at each other right out of the blocks either). I just enver pout a timeline on tse things, they happen when they happen.

are you a man or a woman?

most men, from what I hear, because I don't think this necessarily applies to me, (but I can understand their thinking)...

If a girl puts out on the first date, he sees her as easy, and more as a booty call or one night stand.

he might go back a few times, but he has little intension of making it a relationship.


(I will point out I've heard this opinion more from women than men, so I could be totally off on this one)

[spokes]

as a guy i would not discount getting into a relationship with someone who i got intimate with right away. after all if i was a willing party and got involved with her and then labelled her as a (insert derogatory term here) then shouldn't i paint myself with the same brush?

sometimes things just happen.............

[wordsmith]

call me old fashioned, but i still think 3 dates is not enough time for me to get to know someone well engough that i will sleep with them. at least i've never had that feeling before, and i kinda doubt i ever will.

I have no hard and fast rules, but it's unlikely that I'd feel like I knew somebody well enough that early on (unless I already knew the person, and we weren't still in the getting to know you phase). It's not out of traditionality or old fashionedness, though, it's just because I'm sensitive and don't take risks that I'll get hurt until I know somebody damned well.

[veniqe]

lol, wow, what a stereotypical "male" response :googly:

Well, it's to the bone. Which is really what I prefer. Sometimes, if I really like a guy, I'll probably end up having sex with him. But not always. Mostly, there''s LOTS of kissing, etc on the second date already.

Thing is, how far is too far? Please, give me advice I can life by!

[veniqe]

Well, it seems my 3rd date blues is, officially a thing of the past. We went on a 4th date. Ah... cuddling. So yummy!!

[WorkInProgress]

Well, it seems my 3rd date blues is, officially a thing of the past. We went on a 4th date. Ah... cuddling. So yummy!!

Yay!

Um, question: why did your screen name change?

[ywt]

Yay!

Um, question: why did your screen name change?

I second that, and yes, why did the screenname change? I thought maybe I was losing my mind, glad someone else noticed it too.

[veniqe]

Ya'll talking to me? :confused:

[WorkInProgress]

Ya'll talking to me? :confused:
Yeah. It's not really any of my business (and feel free to say so); I was just curious.

[veniqe]

Nope. None whatsoever. :huge: