My boss says I work too hard

[Adam Strange]

My two bosses - the associate editor and the editor - took me aside yesterday and told me I seemed stressed. I’m not surprised someone picked up on that but I am surprised it warranted a meeting.

I told them I was in a time loop that, when I started, I felt I had to give my job my all to make a good impression and make the transition easy and I felt like I had to give it all again when my assistant (aka my right arm) quit and feel the same now that my new assistant isn’t working out.

The editor said I spend too much time there and then they asked me some questions about how I am adjusting to the new city and I said I wasn’t, that I didn’t have much in my life besides work. This seemed uncomfortably personal. Then they asked how I was feeling and I said that I had frequent head and stomach aches and dizziness.

The editor said leeway could be made, that I could take days off and they wouldn’t be counted as official personal or sick days (Her ability to hide things from the corporate and business offices is another amazing aspect of her cunning) and that I could even decide to leave for an afternoon if I needed to. This amazed me because the editor has a reputation as a hard ass but I’m beginning to learn that that’s just one way her endless dedication to the paper manifests. I guess making sure I’m capable of working is another.

They asked me what I needed and I told them I needed an assistant who would carry some of the burden. We’ve temporarily hired a third person to do some of my assistant’s job while she takes on some of my work and I teach her the ins and outs of my job, meaning that she could sub for me if need be and start filling in some of the cracks my previous assistant filled. I’m worried about this because my inability to give direction and take charge lead to some of the problems with my assistant but I‘ll just have to do better this time.

I sometimes feel like I’ve traded something, my reputation as a solid workhorse for some extra help, but generally I feel relief knowing that the people in charge realize and care that I’m so distraught and, if my problems increase, I won’t loose my job.

I also feel like I should have told them I have a history of anxiety and depression, which is the most personal thing in the world for me. It hasn’t caused a problem at work (at least I don’t think it has) but the talk touched on so many related things and they were so concerned about me that maybe I should have mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

[ywt]

I don't think I can offer much insight on the anxiety and city adjustment areas, but as far as working too hard, I have a somewhat similar story.

My organization is in a money crunch and as such is in a hiring freeze. Several of or mid-level managers retired, transferred, etc and they had to be replaced from within. Despite being only 24, they picked me to fill one of the slots because I was the "most capable of the new hires."

This seemed like a great thing, I'd made a good impression, etc. Well, then one of the replacements transferred. Since I'd done well running one project, they gave me his, so I had two. Then another replacement just got fed up with some political type fight that had been going on with him and upper management and he quit, so I got his project. This cycle continued until I was running 4 projects, not being able to take any days off because 4 projects literally would "sit still" and not even being able to attend some project meetings for fear of other projects of mine falling behind.

Apparently I became frazzled because I had a similar meeting with my boss and he offloaded some of my work to another department entirely. I felt like I'd let him and myself down, not being able to handle the load, but I eventually realized I'd been doing a job designed for 4 people. Eventually we all have limits.

I think it's good they are willing to get you more help, because I know in my situation I needed it, but never would've asked for it myself.

Just some thoughts.

[MrNCG23]

The problem isn't that you're working too hard, it's that you seem stressed/overwhelmed to your boss. Your boss doesn't want you to drop the ball when something important comes up, and wants you to take it easy right now.

Try walking around or exploring the new city (worked for me) and adjust to it - think of it as a fun new place to be in. I would focus on adjusting until you no longer give the impression of being stressed, and then consider bringing up the anxiety history. I wouldn't recommend mentioning that to them right now.

Just my 2 cents.

[SpaceMonkey]

I second the advice to not disclose your history of anxiety and depression. Sure, they seem supportive, and sure, there are probably laws against discrimination along these lines, but you never know what will come back to bite you. It's almost never a good idea to disclose sensitive health information if you don't have to.

[yankeeyosh]

Well, in this generation, taking on more responsibilities than we're capable of doing in no surprise. Many of us were raised to be superkids, so we think we can do anything and everything. So we have to try to learn time management and learn to say "no"...something that we never learned through the maelstrom of activities we had as kids.

[Adam Strange]

I think it's good they are willing to get you more help, because I know in my situation I needed it, but never would've asked for it myself.

If anything it’s comforting to know that they are sympathetic and wouldn’t just fire me if I started to develop some stress problems. That’s stress relief right there.

Try walking around or exploring the new city (worked for me) and adjust to it - think of it as a fun new place to be in.

I e-mailed some judo clubs. I’m and considering some volunteer work. I’m planning to get my living space into something more than a couch, a computer and a bunch of boxes. But now all those things feels like work assignments which gives them their own complexities.

Putting a lot into my job is an anti-QLC/readjustment strategy for me (maybe not the best strategy in the long term but still a strategy nonetheless). I don’t know how to utilize it now that my bosses don’t want me there as much or working as hard.

But, all in all, I’m glad they care.

[winneythepooh7]

The problem isn't that you're working too hard, it's that you seem stressed/overwhelmed to your boss. Your boss doesn't want you to drop the ball when something important comes up, and wants you to take it easy right now.

Try walking around or exploring the new city (worked for me) and adjust to it - think of it as a fun new place to be in. I would focus on adjusting until you no longer give the impression of being stressed, and then consider bringing up the anxiety history. I wouldn't recommend mentioning that to them right now.

Just my 2 cents.

I agree with this. Plus they might have even picked up on this already without your having to tell them you have an anxiety issue. In any event though, just trying to get yourself out there to do some new things, even if it's just walking around, fills up time and gets you away from work. I also enjoy reading and watching cheesy movies when I have nothing else to do.

[shimma]

My two bosses - the associate editor and the editor - took me aside yesterday and told me I seemed stressed. I’m not surprised someone picked up on that but I am surprised it warranted a meeting.

I told them I was in a time loop that, when I started, I felt I had to give my job my all to make a good impression and make the transition easy and I felt like I had to give it all again when my assistant (aka my right arm) quit and feel the same now that my new assistant isn’t working out.

The editor said I spend too much time there and then they asked me some questions about how I am adjusting to the new city and I said I wasn’t, that I didn’t have much in my life besides work. This seemed uncomfortably personal. Then they asked how I was feeling and I said that I had frequent head and stomach aches and dizziness.

The editor said leeway could be made, that I could take days off and they wouldn’t be counted as official personal or sick days (Her ability to hide things from the corporate and business offices is another amazing aspect of her cunning) and that I could even decide to leave for an afternoon if I needed to. This amazed me because the editor has a reputation as a hard ass but I’m beginning to learn that that’s just one way her endless dedication to the paper manifests. I guess making sure I’m capable of working is another.

They asked me what I needed and I told them I needed an assistant who would carry some of the burden. We’ve temporarily hired a third person to do some of my assistant’s job while she takes on some of my work and I teach her the ins and outs of my job, meaning that she could sub for me if need be and start filling in some of the cracks my previous assistant filled. I’m worried about this because my inability to give direction and take charge lead to some of the problems with my assistant but I‘ll just have to do better this time.

I sometimes feel like I’ve traded something, my reputation as a solid workhorse for some extra help, but generally I feel relief knowing that the people in charge realize and care that I’m so distraught and, if my problems increase, I won’t loose my job.

I also feel like I should have told them I have a history of anxiety and depression, which is the most personal thing in the world for me. It hasn’t caused a problem at work (at least I don’t think it has) but the talk touched on so many related things and they were so concerned about me that maybe I should have mentioned it.

Any thoughts?

It sounds like they are just concerned about you and your well-being. Even "The MAN" and his evil manager minions do care sometimes. :razz:

So I hope you're not worried about losing your job or people thinking you're not competent or anything like that. If you haven't effed up, there's no reason for them not to see you as solid.

You're under no obligation to mention your anxiety and depression to your boss ( I would reccommend not since it's a mental illness and people react to those differently than to physical illnesses). But they probably are aware that something's going on, so something like "yes, I do have a health problem that i'm taking care of, thanks for your concern" is appropriate.