staying the night with boyfriend

[baby_gurl0604]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three months now. I still live at home, so we spend almost all of our time over at his place when we're not out somewhere. I'm in school and he works weird hours with his job, so often I end up leaving around 11 or 12 if we both have to gt up early the next morning. When I do stay at his place overnight, he often sleeps in another room because he says we will both sleep better that way, as he doesn't think his bed is big enough, etc. The sex is great, I have no complaints in that department. I just don't know what is normal as far as staying the night, etc. Is it rude to stay the night when the other person has to get up early the next morning? I hate that he has to sleep on the couch when I do stay, but I don't always feel like driving home when it's late, plus we don't get to see each other that often and I like to stay whenever I can. Maybe I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

[cache]

This doesn't seem like too big of an issue, I would just discuss it with him. But, if your arrangements work, who cares if it is a bit awkward? Unless he has some phobia about sleeping next to you.

But I have always gotten up early - usually by 6am or so, and have never thought twice about it if I have left a gf sleeping there. Usually, and I stress usually, I apprecitate the fact that she wants to spent the limited available time with me.

[Krishna]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three months now. I still live at home, so we spend almost all of our time over at his place when we're not out somewhere. I'm in school and he works weird hours with his job, so often I end up leaving around 11 or 12 if we both have to gt up early the next morning. When I do stay at his place overnight, he often sleeps in another room because he says we will both sleep better that way, as he doesn't think his bed is big enough, etc. The sex is great, I have no complaints in that department. I just don't know what is normal as far as staying the night, etc. Is it rude to stay the night when the other person has to get up early the next morning? I hate that he has to sleep on the couch when I do stay, but I don't always feel like driving home when it's late, plus we don't get to see each other that often and I like to stay whenever I can. Maybe I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I spend the night with my boyfriend frequently, and have never had a problem doing so. He works early at least one weekend a month, and when I'm there I just wake him up and then go back to sleep, then let myself out & lock up when I wake up "for real." I guess if his bed is a twin bed, it might be a tight squeeze, but anything larger than that shouldn't be an issue. :) (Even with a twin, you could argue that it's good cuddle time! :p )

[asm198]

I would feel weird to sleep in his bed while he's sleeping on the couch, but that's just me. I spent the first year and a half of my relationship sharing a super single waterbed, so we got used to having a tight squeeze with sleeping arrangements. Have you talked to him about it?

[Winter Storm]

Generally, if I'm sleeping over a guy's house, I expect to sleep with him. What is the point of sleeping over, if he's in another room. Might as well go home. I'd talk to him and if that makes him more comfortable, then compromise.

[weary]

i didn't see a bed size in the OP but i have to agree that this seems a little odd...even if it's a twin bed. unless maybe 1 or both of them are very large/tall? i guess i just don't get it. if i'm being intimate w/ someone and want to spend the night with them, i want to spend the night with them. is one of you waking up at a diff time than the other that disruptive?

are you the same poster that talked about having your first real BF and being glad that you waited so long (for both the BF and to have sex)? not that that matters...but i just wondered b/c maybe if this is your first relationship like this, you haven't dealt with overnights before or similar. either way, if it's making you uncomfortable i think you should bring it up with the BF. communication is key and intimacy is very valuable! work on both consistently. good luck. :)

[LaFille]

i'm a cuddler, so i'd probably feel sensitive about the situation. on the other hand, there are some nights i just want to be alone. maybe invest in a bigger bed? :)

[SmilesSoSweet]

My last roommate is a heavy snorer. So she would say at times when she was dating a guy, the guy would sleep in other room if he couldn't sleep next to her because of her snoring.

Other than that, I wouldn't see why it would be a problem to sleep in the same bed even if one has to wake up earlier than the other. Unless the bed was a twin. A full size bed seems to just have enough room to still have your own space, but also allow you to snuggle too.

[BlueEyedFunOne]

I have a full-sized bed and it's perfect for my BF and I. Larger beds are great, because we get to sprawl out a bit more, but I'm waiting to live somewhere more permanently until I buy a new bed.

At one time, we had different schedules, which would entail me getting up early/him sleeping late. Unless my roommate was home, I'd let him sleep in.

He usually stays at my house, because he still lives with the 'rents while he's in school. They're lovely people, but I'm just too damn old to sleep over at mom & dad's house.

Sure, things can be a bit awkward with sleepovers at first, but soon you'll settle into a routine.

[dddork]

i can't sleep properly if someone is sleeping right next to me.. I tend to sleep a lot on my couch

[mishl982]

Whenever I am sleeping with someone in the beginning of a relationship, I find it hard to sleep. It just takes me awhile to get used to sleeping with that person and also trusting that he'll not do anything weird while I sleep or fear that I'll do something embarassing like fart all night long (I'm not kidding!). :P So maybe that is his fear?

D and I spend a lot of nights together and usually he is the one to get up before me. Whether we're at my house or his, he'll get up and get ready and I'll fall right back asleep. Not an issue at all.

I'd feel weird if one of us were in a bed and the other on the couch. I'd just talk to your BF about it.

[Winter Storm]

I used to be a person that had a hard time sleeping next to someone. But you know how I got over it; by making myself do it over and over and over.

It took a good 6 months with my ex, but I finally got used to it and learned to sleep pretty peacefully in the same bed with him. It's still an adjustment with a new person, but I think you have to force yourself. Otherwise, your body will never get used to it and I'm sure most of us want to sleep next to a warm body at some point.

[Chameleon]

I'm a pretty light sleeper and wake up at every movement (even mine) and every sound. I also have trouble getting back to sleep if woken up and tend to be cranky if I don't get enough sleep. I have a feeling I'll have seperate beds if I ever get married or else go through a pretty painful adjustment period. God, I hope he doesn't snore.

I think it's worth bringing up, baby_gurl, just to make sure he is getting enough sleep when you stay over. Do you know if you snore? Does he? Do either of you move around a lot in your sleep?

[mishl982]

I used to be a person that had a hard time sleeping next to someone. But you know how I got over it; by making myself do it over and over and over.

It took a good 6 months with my ex, but I finally got used to it and learned to sleep pretty peacefully in the same bed with him. It's still an adjustment with a new person, but I think you have to force yourself. Otherwise, your body will never get used to it and I'm sure most of us want to sleep next to a warm body at some point.
Yea, now I pass out when I sleep with D. We'll just be laying in bed watching TV and the next thing I know, it's the next day!

It's definitely something you just have to get used to after doing it over and over.

[Krishna]

Whenever I am sleeping with someone in the beginning of a relationship, I find it hard to sleep. It just takes me awhile to get used to sleeping with that person and also trusting that he'll not do anything weird while I sleep or fear that I'll do something embarassing like fart all night long (I'm not kidding!). :P So maybe that is his fear?

LOL! Man, I remember the start of my relationship, where I was on my best behavior, dressed nice all the time, and was concious of making sure to control burping and such. Familiarity has made me lax in many regards...

I also had trouble sleeping when my boyfriend was there at the beginning, not because I didnt trust him, but because I wasnt used to sharing my bed, or having someone's arms around me while I slept. I've obviously gotten over it, since I have a hard time sleeping when he's not there now. ;):

[veniqe]

It was so cool to sleep over last Saturday! To cuddle... What's the point, otherwise? I didn't sleep over tonight, cause I DO like my own bed and I'm not so sure at what time he needs to wake up for work tomorrow.

Now's the time to urge him to buy a bigger bed, damn it!! :huge:

[baby_gurl0604]

thanks for everyone's input; I talked to him tonight and he told me it had nothing to do with me, he is just still getting used to sharing a bed with someone. and no, I am not the person who posted about being intheir first serious relationship, but honestly I haven't had too many serious relationships, so that's why I felt compelled to get some outside input on this. thanks again!