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View Full Version : My Friends Dad Passed Away

veniqe
10-17-2006, 12:13 PM
I've known her for only a couple of months and can't really call her a "close" friend.But she IS very, very dear to me. So, how do I go about offering her support?
Her dad died of a Heart Attack.
weary
10-17-2006, 12:30 PM
i'm sorry to hear that and i think it's great that you want to be there for her. one of my closest friends i met the same week her father died. we instantl clicked and i knew i wanted to be there for her just like you want to be there for your friend, but i wasn't sure how.

i basically told her just that, only better worded. sometimes it helps people just to offer support, w/o having to be specific. have you talked to her yet? maybe something simple like, "i'm so sorry for your loss. i don't know what you want or need, but i'm here for you. what can i do?"

a lot of times people aren't even sure what they want/need...but it can mean so much just to know someone cares/is there.
Nelzie
10-17-2006, 12:32 PM
Just be there for her. Ask if there is anything you can do to help. If not, just be there to listen if she needs you. Sometimes just being there for someone is the best thing you can do
mishl982
10-17-2006, 12:54 PM
Sometimes that is all the friend is looking for - support and knowing that you're there for them.
veniqe
10-17-2006, 12:57 PM
I saw her on Saturday and after that, we've been trying to make plans to have lunch again... I phoned her earlier on today and I had such a bad connection! I then sent her an sms, saying things like I'm here for you if you need my support.
old_school_soul
10-17-2006, 01:35 PM
Let them know that you will be there for them if they need you and if they'd like to do anything. If not, back off until they are ready to talk to you. Sometimes people act too friendly when someone dies, it almost seems artificial and is very crowding.
veniqe
10-17-2006, 01:51 PM
Good advice, old school soul.
coll214
10-17-2006, 02:26 PM
Let them know that you will be there for them if they need you and if they'd like to do anything. If not, back off until they are ready to talk to you. Sometimes people act too friendly when someone dies, it almost seems artificial and is very crowding.
What he said. And don't keep asking if they need anything. I know when two of my friends lost their mothers, they both just needed some distractions, which is what friends should help with...
pisces2473
10-17-2006, 06:38 PM
What he said. And don't keep asking if they need anything. I know when two of my friends lost their mothers, they both just needed some distractions, which is what friends should help with...
Yup--my fiance's mom died in btwn dates #1 and 2 and he wanted to hang out with me the day after the funeral.
ocean24
10-18-2006, 12:00 AM
Let them know that you will be there for them if they need you and if they'd like to do anything. If not, back off until they are ready to talk to you. Sometimes people act too friendly when someone dies, it almost seems artificial and is very crowding.

I agree. People often have different ways of coping with loss. Just being genuine and letting them know your there for them when their ready is helpful.