Help Me With This Scenario

[kipper]

So I'm dating this new guy that seems great. We hit it off and have been spending a lot of time together and we both seem to be mutually into it. We both had plans on Friday night but he called me to meet him and his friends out for a drink when 'my plans were done that evening'. So I did and I don't fault him for this because we all have our moments but he was slightly more drunk than I would have liked. Instead of being nice about it I got slightly annoyed and dropped him at home. Usually I stay awhile. Now I'm worried b/c I'm afraid he doesn't understand why I just left and he hasn't been calling me as much since then. Normally he calls everyday and now nothing....

What's up?

Would you have done the same thing and do I need to say sorry for this? For some reason it seems like I did what felt right to me so why should I be sorry?

[winneythepooh7]

Talk to him about it. Was he mean to you in his alcohol state? Did he behave super inappropriately? I think it is best to talk about why this upsets you with him. My SO cannot handle certain types of alcohol, in particular, hard liquor and sometimes tends to over indulge when around certain friends of his. It pisses me off when he acts this way (egged on by certain friends which is a whole other thread to save for another day), so I address it the next day WHEN HE IS SOBER (because obviously nothing is going to get accomplished when someone is drunk). I personally feel that "being under the influence" is a poor excuse for acting like a dick, if in fact, this is what happened in your situation. And guys being guys often tend to become fools when around each other and excessive alcohol. If you also suspect he may have a "problem" that is something that I think you also should either address with him, or re-evaluate if you are willing to be with someone with this issue.

[kipper]

Thanks for the input Winney. I guess I don't know him well enough to judge. I mean I sometimes I have too much too so I don't want to prematurely judge it. He wasn't mean to me he was just kind of vacant. Like I'm not sure why he called me to come out when he was ready to snooze. I was more annoyed that I came out and he was just a zombie. I was the one that got annoyed because well I'm a girl and I wanted some attention and I could tell by the looks of things it wasn't going to go my way. :)

[dostoy]

Could be that he decided that you and him aren't compatible, because you are against drinking and he is for it?

[winneythepooh7]

Thanks for the input Winney. I guess I don't know him well enough to judge. I mean I sometimes I have too much too so I don't want to prematurely judge it. He wasn't mean to me he was just kind of vacant. Like I'm not sure why he called me to come out when he was ready to snooze. I was more annoyed that I came out and he was just a zombie. I was the one that got annoyed because well I'm a girl and I wanted some attention and I could tell by the looks of things it wasn't going to go my way. :)

Maybe the alcohol just got to him really quickly ;). This happens to me sometimes. I am all hyper and eager to hang out with everyone, having a great time, and then suddenly that third or fourth rum and coke after an hour or two hits me pretty hard.........

[WorkInProgress]

Maybe the alcohol just got to him really quickly ;). This happens to me sometimes. I am all hyper and eager to hang out with everyone, having a great time, and then suddenly that third or fourth rum and coke after an hour or two hits me pretty hard.........
One of my friends is like that. She's great for about 1-2 drinks, but then she gets tired. It's normal, for her.

[BOLD]

Thanks for the input Winney. I guess I don't know him well enough to judge. I mean I sometimes I have too much too so I don't want to prematurely judge it. He wasn't mean to me he was just kind of vacant. Like I'm not sure why he called me to come out when he was ready to snooze. I was more annoyed that I came out and he was just a zombie. I was the one that got annoyed because well I'm a girl and I wanted some attention and I could tell by the looks of things it wasn't going to go my way. :)

He liked you enough to invite you to hang out with him on guy’s night, but you snubbed him and he doesn't know why. At least that's my guess.

[kipper]

Ug. I hope that's not what he thinks. I'd like to explain it to him, but how can I do that if he won't return my calls?

[WorkInProgress]

Ug. I hope that's not what he thinks. I'd like to explain it to him, but how can I do that if he won't return my calls?

Email? Old fashioned letter? Voicemail?

[kipper]

I left a voice mail saying good night last night but he didn't return my call. So today I sent an 'I'm sorry txt msg'. The funny thing is if he's not even worried about Friday and I am and I just come off as an extreme worrier.

Dating is way too much work and too much to worry about!

[Chameleon]

Ug. I hope that's not what he thinks. I'd like to explain it to him, but how can I do that if he won't return my calls?
If it happened on Friday the 20th it's only been 3 days. Maybe he's really embarrassed, maybe he's really hungover, maybe he's trying to figure what happened and waiting to clear his head before contacting you, maybe he's playing games to mess with your head, maybe he's too wussy to call you and call things off, maybe he's suffering from amnesia, maybe he's lost his cell phone, who knows. Whatever the reason, you need to chill :) Easier said than done, right?

It sounds like you overreacted (getting annoyed because he was zonked out from drinking and didn't pay enough attention to you - how "not nice" were you?) but there really isn't anything more you can do without coming across as even more high maintainance. However, his ignoring you because you didn't hang out for a couple hours when he was out of it (assuming that's what he IS doing) sounds like a pretty immature move.

[Krishna]

One of my friends is like that. She's great for about 1-2 drinks, but then she gets tired. It's normal, for her.

I go from zero to trashed in 2.5 second. I'm a cheap date b/c 2 drinks will put me over the top.

[winneythepooh7]

I go from zero to trashed in 2.5 second. I'm a cheap date b/c 2 drinks will put me over the top.

I'm generally the same way. Especially if it's been a long week. I can almost guarantee that if I go out to dinner on a Friday night after work, I will get buzzed of one glass of wine. 2 glasses-I'm drunk. My days of being a college sorority chic drinking the frat guys under the table are long gone.........