where do all the friends go

[iamkarma]

When your in kindergarden, your friend with the kid who sits next to you because they let you borrow their crayons. In JR high/high school you have your own "click" of friends. After high school some of your friends stay around others go away to college. You meet a bunch of friends at college, but after college is over they go back to their homes and or move away. Also after college alot of people get their own careers, get married, have kids and have their own lives. Does anyone find it hard to stay connected with people who were your good friends at one time?

[stonemonkey]

I'm "friends" with whoever's around at the time. It's a shallow way to live, you never really form deep connections with people that take years to form. But it's convenient, and keeping track of people in different cities is too much effort. Everyone's got their own lives, we aren't children anymore.

[swordfish77]

I am having a lonely Saturday night. I live alone in an apartment. I have a few friends that live an hour away, as well as a couple of friends that I talk to. I don't have a girlfriends. I have one friend here, whom could be a girlfriend, but she said "Let's just be friends."

[beeblebrox]

I'm taking a knitting class to learn how to knit and meet people. In graduate school, I had an instant group of friends. Afterwards, it was harder to meet people and I felt a little isolated because I hung out with my boyfriend. Now I enjoy my knitting class and will do other knitting events to meet people and feel more established in my city and friends.

[wordsmith]

I don't find it hard to stay connected to the people who were good friends. Some childhood friends, school friends, college friends, etc. are simply friends of circumstance, but some are actual real friends that have staying power. I have friends from every stage of life I still talk to. It's really not difficult to stay caught up with people if the want is mutual.

Meeting new friends since college has meant meeting people through work (my work makes it easier than some, as I'm always meeting new people in the course of doing my job), friends of friends, community college classes, and volunteer programs.

[Kitty]

No, it's not hard to keep in contact with friends. Hello, email? Pretty effortless.

Making new friends...totally different story.

[stonemonkey]

No, it's not hard to keep in contact with friends. Hello, email? Pretty effortless.


Assuming that they keep replying to your emails, sure. I'm not about to keep emailing a person if they're going to keep failing to reply.

[wordsmith]

Hence the "It's really not difficult to stay caught up with people if the want is mutual" thing.

If it's not mutual, you're always gonna be barking up the wrong tree.

[stonemonkey]

Some childhood friends, school friends, college friends, etc. are simply friends of circumstance,

I think all my friends are 'friends of circumstance'. Basically people I went to school with, work with or met while traveling. As bad as it sounds, I don't have any 'real' friends.

[Kitty]

Assuming that they keep replying to your emails, sure. I'm not about to keep emailing a person if they're going to keep failing to reply.

Well, yeah, but it's going to be hard to keep in touch with anyone who doesn't return the effort.

[wordsmith]

I think all my friends are 'friends of circumstance'. Basically people I went to school with, work with or met while traveling. As bad as it sounds, I don't have any 'real' friends.

Nobody you actually connect with or hit it off with on any type of personal level other than, "We work the same place," etc.? Because that's probably something YOU have to work on, if that's the case. Odds are, you're not putting yourself out there, if you don't have any actual connections to people that extend beyond a suface, passing level.

To relate to people on a personal level, you really have to commit to putting some time and effort into it, and so do they.

[stonemonkey]

Nobody you actually connect with or hit it off with on any type of personal level other than, "We work the same place," etc.? Because that's probably something YOU have to work on, if that's the case. Odds are, you're not putting yourself out there, if you don't have any actual connections to people that extend beyond a suface, passing level.

To relate to people on a personal level, you really have to commit to putting some time and effort into it, and so do they.

oh there are people like that, it's just that I only met them through work or this volunteering thing I did.

And yeah, putting in time and effort is no problem, it's just that it's usually the other party that never does.

[LaFille]

i like facebook for keeping in touch with people. i find if you keep your friends updated on the details of your life it's easier to reconnect...

[g8ergal83]

i feel lonely sometimes when i'm excited about something and i call my sister and my mom and my bf... and then thats it. i dont have any real friends to call and tell cool things to, and i wish i did. but like someone said, i'm not puttint myself out there and i really need to. i think taking a fun class would be cool, knitting isnt for me but something else might be. and then i can meet people and invite them over and hang out and stuff.. i miss that.