Roomates with Benefits [Archive]

purple123

10-30-2006, 09:36 PM

OK, I spent this past summer hooking up with my roommate. We've lived together for over a year and ran in the same circle of friends for the past couple years - so I know him well. Now, I have called things off because he has started dating someone (not sure how serious it is). Question is - was hooking up the dumbest thing ever to do? I can't get away from him since we leave together, so I see him everyday and can't get over that our situation is over (even though I ended it).

Has anyone ever been in this situation???

shimma

10-30-2006, 09:47 PM

OK, I spent this past summer hooking up with my roommate. We've lived together for over a year and ran in the same circle of friends for the past couple years - so I know him well. Now, I have called things off because he has started dating someone (not sure how serious it is). Question is - was hooking up the dumbest thing ever to do? I can't get away from him since we leave together, so I see him everyday and can't get over that our situation is over (even though I ended it).

Has anyone ever been in this situation???

I shag my roommate rotten every night. But then again, we're getting married in a few months.

IMHO, opposite-sex roommates is rarely a good idea, unless one or both of you are gay.

vxmike

10-30-2006, 10:51 PM

.

IMHO, opposite-sex roommates is rarely a good idea, unless one or both of you are gay.

Disagree. I've had more female roommates than male roommates, and yes I've ended with "benefits" at times with the females. As long as the ground-rules are established and respected it works out great.

For the OP - sounds like you got emotionally attached which is a no-no for sex-only relationships whether it's a roommate or just an FB.

Krishna

10-30-2006, 10:58 PM

Depends-
*Can you shag every night without getting attached?
*What happens when one of you starts dating someone else? Will the living situation get awkward?

I personally make it a policy to not sleep with my roommates...though if I move in with my current boyfriend, my opinion will of course change.

wordsmith

10-31-2006, 10:52 AM

I don't do "with benefits," period, roommates, friends, whatever. I don't agree that you can't have opposite gender roommates, though. My only male roommate worked fine, b/c neither of us had the slightest attraction to the other.

embrassezla

10-31-2006, 11:51 AM

Yeah, I lived with guys in college and managed to, ya know, NOT sleep with them.

shimma

10-31-2006, 11:57 AM

For the OP - sounds like you got emotionally attached which is a no-no for sex-only relationships whether it's a roommate or just an FB.

Well, once feelings come into play, it's no longer sex-only is it? Females are chemically wired to develop feelings for people they have sex with even if it is just a "fuckbuddy".

OP - FWB and FB may not be the setup for you.

ETA: And if I were you, I'd consider finding a subletter and moving out.

Winter Storm

10-31-2006, 12:55 PM

This is one of my worst fears in dating a guy who has a female roommate; that he has at one point hooked up with her and is sexually attracted to her.

Ugh! :neutral:

dostoy

10-31-2006, 12:56 PM

I'm looking for a roommate right now, I wish it could be a hot girl but that's doubtful to happen.

vxmike

10-31-2006, 01:03 PM

I'm looking for a roommate right now, I wish it could be a hot girl but that's doubtful to happen.

Um, there can be some serious disadvantages to that though. If you live with a hot girl that you CAN'T sleep with, it can be very frustrating and distracting. Like the insanely hot girl I lived with who used to walk around our apt in her revealing sleepwear and wear her skimpy bikini to sunbathe on the balcony....that was both very cool and very not cool in a different way.

dostoy

10-31-2006, 01:15 PM

Um, there can be some serious disadvantages to that though. If you live with a hot girl that you CAN'T sleep with, it can be very frustrating and distracting. Like the insanely hot girl I lived with who used to walk around our apt in her revealing sleepwear and wear her skimpy bikini to sunbathe on the balcony....that was both very cool and very not cool in a different way.
Well if you're like me and you have great game that wouldn't be a problem.

dddork

10-31-2006, 01:40 PM

I would never have a femal roommate..that just bringing unnecessary drama home!.. hmm the only female person I am going to share my apartment with will be my wife..

Kitty

10-31-2006, 01:41 PM

Maybe it's time to move out.

CTGirl

10-31-2006, 01:59 PM

I have a friend (male) who is looking for a roommate, and is having a tough time because he keeps meeting these girls who are looking for roommates, and then sleeping with them, and then feeling weird about living with them afterward :googly:

I keep telling him that he just needs to move in with a guy, and I think he's finally starting to agree, although he is still trying to convince me to move in with him, which is definitely not a good idea.

wordsmith

10-31-2006, 02:16 PM

I can't honestly say there was ever any drama when I had a male roommate.

dostoy

10-31-2006, 02:19 PM

I can't honestly say there was ever any drama when I had a male roommate.
I guarantee he secretly wanted you.

dddork

10-31-2006, 02:23 PM

I have a friend (male) who is looking for a roommate, and is having a tough time because he keeps meeting these girls who are looking for roommates, and then sleeping with them, and then feeling weird about living with them afterward :googly:

I keep telling him that he just needs to move in with a guy, and I think he's finally starting to agree, although he is still trying to convince me to move in with him, which is definitely not a good idea.

is he looking for a roommate in NYC?!?

embrassezla

10-31-2006, 02:29 PM

I can't honestly say there was ever any drama when I had a male roommate.
Me either. I roomed with 2 guys I knew from high school. One of em had a GF, who admitted to being a little wierded out that her bf was going to be living with 2 girls (me, and another girl we went to high school with), but we invited her to a party at our place (when we still lived with girls), and she expressed being totally at ease after that, seeing that we had known D forever & were just buds.

Oh and no, neither of us are/were 'fugly'. In light of recent threads, I guess I need to specify that :rolleyes:

wordsmith

10-31-2006, 02:29 PM

I guarantee he secretly wanted you.

How do you know he wasn't gay?

BlueEyedFunOne

10-31-2006, 02:43 PM

Ugh, just the thought of any frisky business going on with my new (male) roommate makes me want to yack.

He's a decent looking guy, but his personality makes him the ugliest person on the planet.

CTGirl

10-31-2006, 03:16 PM

is he looking for a roommate in NYC?!?

Nope, Stamford, CT, sorry.

Chameleon

10-31-2006, 03:36 PM

Well if you're like me and you have great game that wouldn't be a problem.
Wait, are you saying if vxmike was like you AND had great game that it wouldn't be a problem or are you saying you have great game? I'm having trouble trying to figure out which version is funnier :razz:

dostoy

10-31-2006, 03:38 PM

Wait, are you saying if vxmike was like you AND had great game that it wouldn't be a problem or are you saying you have great game? I'm having trouble trying to figure out which version is funnier :razz:
Not gonna lie, you cut me deep Chameleon. Thought we was boys. :torn:

shimma

10-31-2006, 04:24 PM

Not gonna lie, you cut me deep Chameleon. Thought we was boys. :torn:

Chameleon's a girl for starters... :googly:

Deavan

10-31-2006, 04:31 PM

To the OP:

Who in their right mind would subject themselves to your situation?? I lived with a guy roomie and although he was HOT it never crossed my mind to hook up with him because we SHARED A LIVING SPACE and if you can't be comfortable and secure in your living space then you are screwed...

cameralady

11-02-2006, 06:10 PM

To the OP:

Who in their right mind would subject themselves to your situation?? I lived with a guy roomie and although he was HOT it never crossed my mind to hook up with him because we SHARED A LIVING SPACE and if you can't be comfortable and secure in your living space then you are screwed...

Yeah...what happens when you get bored?

spokes

11-02-2006, 06:51 PM

if you are a board you are bound to get nailed or screwed eventually........ :huge:

vxmike

11-02-2006, 07:37 PM

Yeah...what happens when you get bored?

Exactly how it started for me with a female roommate once :huge:

Neither of us wanted a relationship or anything more from each other, so it was very convenient to just have someone safe and convenient to fuck when both of us didn't have anyone else.

wordsmith

11-02-2006, 07:54 PM

May I never live with somebody who considers me, "Safe and convenient to f*ck when I don't have anyone else." :rolleyes:

Skyblade

11-02-2006, 07:55 PM

I lived with a guy once who said he wasn't gay. But I'm pretty sure he is. That was the first question people asked me whenever they were first meeting him, "Is he gay?"

vxmike

11-02-2006, 09:40 PM

May I never live with somebody who considers me, "Safe and convenient to f*ck when I don't have anyone else." :rolleyes:

Well obviously you're not a fan of casual sex. A lot of people are. To each his or her own.

purple123

11-05-2006, 09:05 PM

Although I can see where everyone is coming from with their responses, I don't think I explained myself fully enough. This wasn't just hooking up/casual sex. We knew each other for a few years before becoming roommates, we were both attracted to each other, and even went out on a couple dates but realized that it was too hard to do while living in the same house. So the roomates with benefits idea was the resolution we came up with - we couldn't date and we knew we couldn't go back to the way things were, so that was our fix.