Paralized

[cscorp]

I just wanted to say hello to everyone ~ I've been reading these posts for a few years now and I have to say that this is such an amazing site. The support and wisdom that I have read here has been wonderful. It's always nice to hear people are going through the same things and that we aren't all unique in our problems.

I'm at the point where I'm looking at my past and very much regretting some of my actions. I have always struggled with self esteem and therefore did not treat myself in a respectful way (and I let others disrespect me too). My boyfriend (who I thought was the love of my life) said he wanted a "break" about a month ago, but wanted to stay with me through October...well, he officially broke it off on Sunday. He was my entire support system. I have friends, but he was my best friend and I miss him so much. I'm literally sitting here waiting for my phone to ring and checking my email like every 5 seconds. I feel pathetic and paralized. And I know that women shouldn't depend on men...but aren't we sort of wired that way? I mean, I don't want to go out and get married and have children tomorrow, but life was so GOOD when I had someone to share the most intimate moments with...I can honestly say I feel so pathetic at age 27, which is hard for me to say as I have always been optimistic and hopeful for my future.

I do want to say (after sharing my sob story) that this site is definitely helping me tonight. Thank you for sharing your stories, wisdom, and advice. It is all helping me get through this lonely, lonely night.

[CTGirl]

Aww, I've been there, (and I'm sure there are a couple other girls here who have to) and I know how horrible that feels.

When my bf of 4 years dumped me right after college graduation, I was destroyed. It wasnt just him that I missed, but the life that we had together. All of my plans for the future, and the way I lived my life suddenly had to do a complete change. It's really jarring to go through that, and it took me a year after that before I was ready to date again.

All I can say is that with time, it does get better, and to take this time to really re-focus on you and your needs, and what's going to make you happy in your life from this point forward.

Good luck hun, and know that we're here for you!

[stonemonkey]

Hey there, cscorp, nice to hear that we're in some way helping you here (after almost 2 years of lurking, wow!)

I'm sorry to say that I don't have any advice that will make you feel better instantly. You probably already know that's not how it works. What I will say is that it will heal over time. What feels like utter crap now won't be there forever, you will move on. Maybe not tonight, but in a week, a month, whenever. New people will come into your life and as this chapter of it ends. For me, whenever I get this way at night, I find that by the next morning, I'm feeling much better. Maybe I exorcise some demons in my dreams or something, I don't know.

Anyway, hang in there, it will get better!