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Jman06
11-02-2006, 04:05 PM
I am dating 2 girls and one girl asked what I was doing this weekend and I am going out with the other girl one night. Do u just not tell them or what? I figured if they know I am dating someone else it will cause the whole jealousy thing and make them go after me more. But should I just not tell them or what?
wordsmith
11-02-2006, 04:08 PM
When I was dating multiple people, if I already had plans for a given night, I told the person that when he asked.

I'm assuming that neither girl thinks she's in an exclusive relationship, here. Is that the case?
Jman06
11-02-2006, 04:09 PM
If they asked if u were dating someone else or asked what u were doing for the weekend?

They are both very new dates
WorkInProgress
11-02-2006, 04:11 PM
Um, just say you already have plans?

The last time I was seeing two people at once (which was exhausting!), I didn't tell them about each other, but it's not like I was hiding it. And while casually dating, I assume that everyone could be dating someone else.

But I think dating two girls for the purpose of making them jealous of each other is crap, for what it's worth.
wordsmith
11-02-2006, 04:12 PM
Example -

I'm seeing G and J both. J makes plans with me to meet up for beer and wings on Friday night. Next day, G asks what I'm doing this weekend. I say, "I'm booked Friday night, but Saturday works, would you like to do something?"

Important to note, neither G or J is under the impression that we're BF/GF or exclusive in any way.
Winter Storm
11-02-2006, 04:13 PM
If they asked what you are doing, I'd just say I already have plans. Until things are more exclusive, you're not obligated to give specific details.
wordsmith
11-02-2006, 04:14 PM
Um, just say you already have plans?

The last time I was seeing two people at once (which was exhausting!), I didn't tell them about each other, but it's not like I was hiding it. And while casually dating, I assume that everyone could be dating someone else.

Exactly. If one of them ASKED me if I was dating other people, I'd for sure not lie. But I don't offer it up, I just assume that no discussion of exclusivity means we're not exclusive. I never assume exclusivity if it hasn't been discussed.

But I think dating two girls for the purpose of making them jealous of each other is crap, for what it's worth.

Not to mention inviting unncessary drama.
WorkInProgress
11-02-2006, 04:19 PM
If date A asks something along the lines of, "so, are you seeing other people," I'd say something like, "yeah, are you? Why do you ask?"
wordsmith
11-02-2006, 04:20 PM
I've honestly never had a guy ask me.

I bet a girl will, though, sooner rather than later.
old_school_soul
11-02-2006, 04:22 PM
It should be a given that you are dating other people until you two come to the agreement to no longer do so. Juggling 2 women isn't hard -- you just can't juggle women who are equally available... Have one that's really busy, moderately busy, and semi-busy. You'll have a slot for all of them :).
wordsmith
11-02-2006, 04:23 PM
Juggling guys is easier, b/c they never broach the exclusivity issue.
Winter Storm
11-02-2006, 04:28 PM
I've honestly never had a guy ask me.


I don't think I've ever had a guy ask me either. Even when things got physical. I had to assume they didn't care.

I've asked most of them.
weary
11-02-2006, 04:33 PM
i'd say, "i have a date"...but that's just me.

ETA: i'm a girl for those that don't know.
and1grad
11-02-2006, 05:33 PM
ETA: i'm a girl for those that don't know.
psst...you have "Queen" in your user title. :)
embrassezla
11-02-2006, 05:36 PM
psst...you have "Queen" in your user title. :)
Which would be AWESOME if she was a dude.
weary
11-02-2006, 05:36 PM
psst...you have "Queen" in your user title. :)

well, some may think it's an aerosmith "dude looks like a lady" type thang. think: downtown (the village) NYC, the haight-ashbury district (SF), dupont circle (DC), etc...

just wanted to be clear...
:razz:
weary
11-02-2006, 05:38 PM
Which would be AWESOME if she was a dude.


hee! yep...cross-posted w/ ya em! ;)
dengeist
11-02-2006, 06:14 PM
I think the best thing to do is to just say, "I'm going out with a/some friend(s)." Just leave it at that unless she inquires more. I think it's pretty much a given that you could be dating someone else early on. But for god's sake, don't just put all the cards out on the table.

Before I had this interesting incident, I would've said, "Just tell her you're going out with someone else." But, I went out with a girl I met at the end of the summer a few times. It wasn't exclusive, it was two dates. Before the third date she had the need to tell me that her friend hooked her up with some guy and she kind of liked him, but she liked me too. I started having these weird Grey's Anatomy flashes, like I was Finn and this guy was McDreamy.

So I had to be honest, that I was dating other people too and I kind of assumed after only two dates, she probably would be dating other people. Then I started thinking about how apologetic she sounded and I never called her again.

When people say I'm seeing someone else, even in dating it sounds like the other date is somehow better. So just leave the other date part out and say you're busy or something.
spokes
11-02-2006, 06:48 PM
well, some may think it's an aerosmith "dude looks like a lady" type thang. think: downtown (the village) NYC, the haight-ashbury district (SF), dupont circle (DC), etc...

just wanted to be clear...
:razz:

can ya clarify what this means for those of us who have never been to any of these cities.
and1grad
11-02-2006, 06:51 PM
can ya clarify what this means for those of us who have never been to any of these cities.
I think she's describing Republicans. I could be wrong tho. :neutral:
fearlesss
11-12-2006, 01:34 AM
can ya clarify what this means for those of us who have never been to any of these cities.


pretty sure it has nothing to do Republicans. pretty darn sure it's the gay / trans communites of the said cities.