dead bodies

[weary]

yes, the thread topic is as morbid as the title implies...

so...i'm driving down NY avenue in DC last night and there's this police car on the side of the road with its lights on. it was in my lane and so as i approached i got ready to change lanes when i noticed a bunch of people across the street watching from the curb. the cop car is by itself with the lights flashing, the cop is standing next to it looking down and talking on his radio, but that's it. no one in cuffs or in the car, no one else around (on the side of the street where the cop and his car are). so yeah, i'm nosey and i break my neck while passing to see what everyone else is looking at. and what do i get for being nosey? i see a dead body on the ground that a white sheet is being draped over by i guess another cop or some other person. ick.

it made me sad and curious and grossed out all at once. i've seen dead bodies a couple other times and i don't think it's something i could ever get used to. ever.

how many of you have seen a dead body or bodies? and...how did it make you feel?

ETA: funerals/wakes/viewing and the like don't count.

also, i know this should probably be in 'procrastination nation' or similar, but i thought it would be kind of ironic to put under 'life'. bad, i know. :rolleyes:

[BlueEyedFunOne]

I did an internship in grad school with the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. Got to witness autopsies, crime scenes, suspicious death cases....in the name of science & forensics, it was all pretty interesting. In the name of everything else, it took some serious getting used to, and the smell follows you EVERYWHERE.

[wordsmith]

I presume we're talking other than embalmed dead bodies.

I have had to be at accident scenes before for work, but the only one where there were dead bodies in the road, one of my coworkers was at, b/c I was out getting my widsom teeth out, as luck would have it.

When I lived in Chicago, I lived in a neighborhood with a fair enough number of homeless folks. I used to walk a couple of miles to my job every morning, and would go through a train underpass where people would sometimes sit to get out of the elements. One time, I passed through, and the police were removing one guy who had obviously died in the cold the night before. It really stayed with me, especially b/c at the time I was working for a place that worked to help poor people, and we fed a lot of homeless and had a warming shelter.

[wordsmith]

Also, this wasn't me, but when my dad was a kid, he and some of his friends found a body in the mud on the shore of the Illinois River, it was a fisherman who'd been fishing at the dam weeks before and had fallen in and drowned.

Very "Stand By Me." In the fifties, even.

[EmberMae]

We were driving home last thursday night at about 10pm. We see that half the highway is shut down and there are cops everywhere. I am trying to figure out what is going on because I don't see any smashed cars. Then I see right to the right of us a huge pool of blood with a partially covered body on top of it. I could see his feet. They were bare. I immediately started freaking out and feeling like I was going to throw up. This is why I could not work in the medical field. I cannot handle death, at all. Funerals are very traumatizing.

[SmilesSoSweet]

A lady died literally just a few yards from my apartment. It was back in March. I got home and the yellow tape was up with police blocking the area. I had to get escorted to my apartment by one of the officers.

He said that she died of natural causes and she just happened to be outside walking when she died.

I didn't quite see her body, just her feet sticking from a cover. But it was still irry.

[wordsmith]

I'm pretty emotional, and I can't really deal with covering auto accidents or fires, but I'm required to for my job. I will do everything I can to get out of being the one who goes, though, and because I work at a small, more personal paper than a large, corporate-ish one where people would tell me to suck it up and get over it, I actually do get that taken into consideration sometimes.

Of course, then you get the scene and get your ass CHEWED out by paramedics/cops/firefighters for even being there (never mind that if you're not there, you get chewed out for not being there, too, no-win situation), and that makes it even more pleasant. :rolleyes:

[weary]

I did an internship in grad school with the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. Got to witness autopsies, crime scenes, suspicious death cases....in the name of science & forensics, it was all pretty interesting. In the name of everything else, it took some serious getting used to, and the smell follows you EVERYWHERE.

:eek: wow BEFO! what was your major??!!! i seriously could not handle that. silicing and dicing the frog in 8th grade science was enough for me. a whole human body...NO WAY.

[wordsmith]

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED anatomy and physiology in high school; apart from animal projects, my school did a county morgue field trip. I can deal better with cadavers than a crime or accident scene.

[meatwad]

I found my grandmother in her apartment after she'd had a heart attack when I was about 11 or 12.

[Nelzie]

As a health care professional, I see dead people frequently. The worst for me was when we took a woman to the morgue and there was a baby on the table. I almost lost it. Not prepared for something like that.

I have a hard time dealing with death, yeah I know I am in the wrong profession. I have had to leave the room a couple times when a patient has died, because I don't feel the family should see me cry. Even though they teach us it is okay, I don't want to offend anyone.

If you were in a hospital and your family memeber died, would you be offended if the nurse cried with you or would you be glad your nurse cared so much about your family member?

[weary]

As a health care professional, I see dead people frequently. The worst for me was when we took a woman to the morgue and there was a baby on the table. I almost lost it. Not prepared for something like that.

I have a hard time dealing with death, yeah I know I am in the wrong profession. I have had to leave the room a couple times when a patient has died, because I don't feel the family should see me cry. Even though they teach us it is okay, I don't want to offend anyone.

If you were in a hospital and your family memeber died, would you be offended if the nurse cried with you or would you be glad your nurse cared so much about your family member?

there is no way i'd be offended. i think it's rather refreshing b/c so many HC professionals seem somewhat cold, even if it's just a defense mechanism so they won't be weeping over every dead body.

and, i most certainly would have lost is upon seeing the baby. i can't even handle it in movies or on the news. maybe it's the mom-factor...but i don't do well when seeing a child harmed or worse.

[Nelzie]

Oh, it was awful, and I am not even a parent. That was one day I was glad I didn't get a job in the specialty I wanted, OB. The youngest person I have taken care of who died was 56 (which is still too young), but a baby is just so sad.

[weary]

nelzie, what is your profession?

[Nelzie]

I am an RN, although I plan to go to grad school to be a nurse practitioner. I just need a little break from school for a year or so. Right now I work on a pulmonary/medical floor, although my passion is OB

[wordsmith]

It would never occur to me to be offended by a nurse who was tearful about my relative's death. When my grandfather was dying of congestive heart failure and was a long-term patient on the ICU, the nurses got to be like famiy to us, and they got attached to him, too. They were emotional. Not hysterical, that would NOT be comforting. But to show some feeling, not a prob.

I'd be more offended by a medical professional who's very ice-water in the veins and strictly clinical and detched than one who shows caring.

[Nelzie]

It would never occur to me to be offended by a nurse who was tearful about my relative's death. When my grandfather was dying of congestive heart failure and was a long-term patient on the ICU, the nurses got to be like famiy to us, and they got attached to him, too. They were emotional. Not hysterical, that would NOT be comforting. But to show some feeling, not a prob.

I'd be more offended by a medical professional who's very ice-water in the veins and strictly clinical and detched than one who shows caring.

This is good to know. I am an overly sensitive person, and I am always so worried I will offend someone. But you do get attached to your patients, especially if they are there for a while. I used to work in a nursing home and it was so hard when patients died because you got really attached to them since they were there for so long.

[wordsmith]

Well, I'M an overly sensitive person, so I'm not offended. A person who's more, ummm, "stoic," though, might get freaked out (or even resentful), if, say, their mom dies, and the nurse is more visibly upset than they are. There are weird dynamics. I know in nursing homes, that family members often get resentful of CNAs and the like, etc. if they feel like the caregivers in the home are "closer" to their family members than they are. A lot of times, it's baggage having to do with guilt, etc.

[weary]

I am an RN, although I plan to go to grad school to be a nurse practitioner. I just need a little break from school for a year or so. Right now I work on a pulmonary/medical floor, although my passion is OB

BLESS YOU!!! (i have a soft spot for nurses. been through plenty medical stuff re my own health and others close to me to know the value of a nurse! :) )

i'm sure it's a huge undertaking, but you could maybe get a CNM in grad school while you're going for the practitioner degree? just a thought.

[BlueEyedFunOne]

:eek: wow BEFO! what was your major??!!! i seriously could not handle that. silicing and dicing the frog in 8th grade science was enough for me. a whole human body...NO WAY.

Criminal Justice and Forensic Science...I ended up switching to the computer-related side of things (better paying jobs).

The hardest part about the internship wasn't dealing with the 'gross anatomy' of it all...we're biological beings, our bodies do unpleasant things after death. Initially, I choked up a few times thinking about the lives these people once had. I had to quickly harden myself against my emotions, and treat everything as one giant forensic science experiment and learning experience.

[wordsmith]

I actually wish I was GOOD at any of the background study in nursing. It seems like a very compassionate profession, and one that would be well-suited to me. And they're so in demand, it would be great to be working in a field where there are actually lots of jobs and people offering incentives for you to come aboard.

[weary]

This is good to know. I am an overly sensitive person, and I am always so worried I will offend someone. But you do get attached to your patients, especially if they are there for a while. I used to work in a nursing home and it was so hard when patients died because you got really attached to them since they were there for so long.

yes, my friend's mom had a long career in this and got burned out b/c due to the nature of the work, her patients always died [eventually]. she just couldn't take it anymore. she took a break to go back to school FT for her masters and now she works in OB. she's devastated whenever a little one doesn't make it, but says it's far better than the end-of-life care she did for so long.

[weary]

I actually wish I was GOOD at any of the background study in nursing. It seems like a very compassionate profession, and one that would be well-suited to me. And they're so in demand, it would be great to be working in a field where there are actually lots of jobs and people offering incentives for you to come aboard.

ditto. i even looked into it at one time. but it's just too much science. i'm not good at that at all.

[wordsmith]

ditto. i even looked into it at one time. but it's just too much science. i'm not good at that at all.

I'm good at the biology/anat/phys end of the science, but not the chemistry/math. I wish I were. I'm very interested in health care and medicine and always have been. But I am not skilled with numbers or chemistry at all.

[Nelzie]

BLESS YOU!!! (i have a soft spot for nurses. been through plenty medical stuff re my own health and others close to me to know the value of a nurse! :) )

i'm sure it's a huge undertaking, but you could maybe get a CNM in grad school while you're going for the practitioner degree? just a thought.

Aww.. thanks! You are so sweet.

Actually, I really want to be a CNM, but I would have to move somewhere where they are more accepted. Its the same amount of schooling. More clinical experience is needed though

[Nelzie]

I actually wish I was GOOD at any of the background study in nursing. It seems like a very compassionate profession, and one that would be well-suited to me. And they're so in demand, it would be great to be working in a field where there are actually lots of jobs and people offering incentives for you to come aboard.

See, I am good at science/math. I am not good at history, writing, etc. So I think I found the right profession for me. It is nice that I can go anywhere and still be able to get a job.

[ScottyTheBody]

Also, this wasn't me, but when my dad was a kid, he and some of his friends found a body in the mud on the shore of the Illinois River, it was a fisherman who'd been fishing at the dam weeks before and had fallen in and drowned.

Very "Stand By Me." In the fifties, even.

I was going to say, that is very much like Stand By Me

[wordsmith]

See, I am good at science/math. I am not good at history, writing, etc. So I think I found the right profession for me. It is nice that I can go anywhere and still be able to get a job.


I'm great at history, writing, and in service-type things where you are helping people. I'm good at most science. But I'm miserable at math. Nursing appeals to me b/c it's a helping profession and illnesses and medicine interest me. But because I suck at math, it wasn't an option open to me.

[Nelzie]

I'm great at history, writing, and in service-type things where you are helping people. I'm good at most science. But I'm miserable at math. Nursing appeals to me b/c it's a helping profession and illnesses and medicine interest me. But because I suck at math, it wasn't an option open to me.

You know, you dont really have to be that great at math... that's what calculators are for. :huge: Most things are calculated for you by the pharmacy ahead of time. Most math you use is pretty basic.

[wordsmith]

Heh...good to know. But perhaps more comforting if I had an aptitude for even basic math.

[weary]

Aww.. thanks! You are so sweet.

Actually, I really want to be a CNM, but I would have to move somewhere where they are more accepted. Its the same amount of schooling. More clinical experience is needed though

:huge:

follow your dream!!! that is, if you'd be willing/want to move. or maybe you could do a stint as a travel nurse to check out diff locales and see if you'd be up for moving eventually? you could do that now/before going back to school.

don't mind me...i'm just in a serious "dream deferred" mode right now and have my head in the clouds as to what i'm going to do w/ myself when i have more options. :0

[Nelzie]

:huge:

follow your dream!!! that is, if you'd be willing/want to move. or maybe you could do a stint as a travel nurse to check out diff locales and see if you'd be up for moving eventually? you could do that now/before going back to school.

don't mind me...i'm just in a serious "dream deferred" mode right now and have my head in the clouds as to what i'm going to do w/ myself when i have more options. :0

I'm sure I will. I have a year contract that is up in July, then I can go anywhere. I am so sick of Iowa. I live in one of the bigger cities and it is still too small for me (which is odd, because I am from a small town). I am totally willing to move. And I think travel nursing would be awesome, you would never have to worry about getting bored with your job.

BTW... sorry for hijacking your post :redface:

[weary]

I'm sure I will. I have a year contract that is up in July, then I can go anywhere. I am so sick of Iowa. I live in one of the bigger cities and it is still too small for me (which is odd, because I am from a small town). I am totally willing to move. And I think travel nursing would be awesome, you would never have to worry about getting bored with your job.

BTW... sorry for hijacking your post :redface:
GOOD FOR YOU!!! go for it. :)

i don't care about the threadjack....it's pretty much my fault anyhow. :p i'm kind of bad about that....blame it on insatiable curiousity. :rolleyes:

[vxmike]

As a health care professional, I see dead people frequently. The worst for me was when we took a woman to the morgue and there was a baby on the table. I almost lost it. Not prepared for something like that.

I have a hard time dealing with death, yeah I know I am in the wrong profession. I have had to leave the room a couple times when a patient has died, because I don't feel the family should see me cry. Even though they teach us it is okay, I don't want to offend anyone.

If you were in a hospital and your family memeber died, would you be offended if the nurse cried with you or would you be glad your nurse cared so much about your family member?

Same here. I see dead bodies at work (healthcare) on a routine basis. I don't even think twice about it anymore...so it doesn't affect me emotionally. I also rarely work with patients for more than five minutes, so I don't get to know them like a nurse does. It's a hospital, people die, it sucks, but it's part of life. That's how I look at it.

[weary]

Same here. I see dead bodies at work (healthcare) on a routine basis. I don't even think twice about it anymore...so it doesn't affect me emotionally. I also rarely work with patients for more than five minutes, so I don't get to know them like a nurse does. It's a hospital, people die, it sucks, but it's part of life. That's how I look at it.

i hope that's not your bedside manor! :eek:

[wordsmith]

Yeah, what exactly do you do, b/c you might well be one of those people I was referring to earlier.

[Nelzie]

Same here. I see dead bodies at work (healthcare) on a routine basis. I don't even think twice about it anymore...so it doesn't affect me emotionally. I also rarely work with patients for more than five minutes, so I don't get to know them like a nurse does. It's a hospital, people die, it sucks, but it's part of life. That's how I look at it.

yeah, you tend to start to get desensitized to it when you see it all the time (in the same sense, nudity doesn't even phase me now, but I used to be really uncomfortable around it). I think it is more difficult if you are in the room when the patient dies, watching them take the last few breaths than if you were to come upon someone who has already died.

[vxmike]

i hope that's not your bedside manor! :eek:

No, but sometimes when people get too emotional it affects the care they deliver. My job is not like nursing...I perform a needed technical procedure very quickly then I leave. Most of my patients are not even conscious or aware I'm there. I do not have the opportunity to get to know or connect with patients, so seeing a dead body of someone I don't know from another guy on the street isn't the same as someone who actually knew and worked with that patient for extended periods.

[wordsmith]

I think it makes a HUGE difference depending on whether or not you have to deal with families, etc. In those cases, it's part of your job to be appropriately interact with people who've lost somebody, IMO.

Showing emotion when appropriate doesn't HAVE to affect your capability of performing tasks related to your job.

[Nelzie]

In nursing, you are so close to your patients it is hard not to get emotionally involved. If I were to the point where I could not provide safe care, I would leave the situation and ask a coworker for help. If you get too over emotional, it will affect your work, and that is not fair to the patient or the family

[vxmike]

yeah, you tend to start to get desensitized to it when you see it all the time (in the same sense, nudity doesn't even phase me now, but I used to be really uncomfortable around it). I think it is more difficult if you are in the room when the patient dies, watching them take the last few breaths than if you were to come upon someone who has already died.

Yes, nudity is a great analogy! Non-healthcare workers aren't used to seeing graphic nudity on a daily basis and it certainly would be distracting...and yes it took time to get used to. Once you get used to it working with someone completely naked you don't even think twice about it.

And I do take offense with some people who complain about "cold" healthcare workers who aren't emotional enough. I know plenty of people who are TOO emotional and they are unable to effectively work in trauma situations or with kids because they can't focus on their job due to being overly emotional about it. Feeling sorry for your patient doesn't help them if they're seriously injured....

[Nelzie]

I think it makes a HUGE difference depending on whether or not you have to deal with families, etc. In those cases, it's part of your job to be appropriately interact with people who've lost somebody, IMO.

Showing emotion when appropriate doesn't HAVE to affect your capability of performing tasks related to your job.

It makes it so much more difficult to deal with death when the family is there. I am not saying this in a bad way, its just that when I see someone cry, it makes me cry. However, it is also sad when a patient dies alone. A few weeks ago one of my patients was actively dying and she was all alone so I stayed with her. No one deserves to die alone.

I agree that some emotion can be okay, but you just can't go overboard

[wordsmith]

I agree, it's a fine balance. You're caregiving, you have to care. But you also have to know the threshold point at which you may be hindered from doing your job to the fullest.

[Nelzie]

Yes, nudity is a great analogy! Non-healthcare workers aren't used to seeing graphic nudity on a daily basis and it certainly would be distracting...and yes it took time to get used to. Once you get used to it working with someone completely naked you don't even think twice about it.


Isn't it? I was watching a movie with a friend the other day and there was nudity. Well, she FLIPPED out, while I probably wouldn't have blinked an eye had she not made a big deal about it.

[vxmike]

I think it makes a HUGE difference depending on whether or not you have to deal with families, etc. In those cases, it's part of your job to be appropriately interact with people who've lost somebody, IMO.

Showing emotion when appropriate doesn't HAVE to affect your capability of performing tasks related to your job.

I almost never interact with family members, and never after someone dies. I treat my patients very well, but like I said my particular job does not entail interacting with anyone more than a few minutes, so feeling any extended emotions isn't really something my job entails. Anyone that I see who is dead I either never worked with or maybe for a few minutes at the most, so I probably don't even know them by name.

[weary]

Isn't it? I was watching a movie with a friend the other day and there was nudity. Well, she FLIPPED out, while I probably wouldn't have blinked an eye had she not made a big deal about it.

i always wonder about people like this. i don't think nudity is a bad thing at all.

[Nelzie]

i always wonder about people like this. i don't think nudity is a bad thing at all.

Well, my friend is a little weird :huge: I just had to laugh at her

[vxmike]

I agree, it's a fine balance. You're caregiving, you have to care. But you also have to know the threshold point at which you may be hindered from doing your job to the fullest.

This is a fair summary. It is indeed a balancing and each person has to find their own way to deal with the difficulties of healthcare while still performing their job effectively. There are a lot of different personalities and ways of dealing with things, and the differences help forge an effective team. There are people for example who are completely unable to work with child abuse cases b/c they fall apart...so be thankful there are people who can handle those situations professionally.

[vxmike]

It makes it so much more difficult to deal with death when the family is there. I am not saying this in a bad way, its just that when I see someone cry, it makes me cry. However, it is also sad when a patient dies alone. A few weeks ago one of my patients was actively dying and she was all alone so I stayed with her. No one deserves to die alone.

I agree that some emotion can be okay, but you just can't go overboard

I applaud you - you sound like a great nurse. I work with so many nurses on a regular basis who are bitter, burned out, and rude/uncaring to both patients and coworkers.

[pisces2473]

I applaud you - you sound like a great nurse. I work with so many nurses on a regular basis who are bitter, burned out, and rude/uncaring to both patients and coworkers.
What do you do? Respiratory therapist?

[vxmike]

What do you do? Respiratory therapist?

Radiology. Xray and cat scans.

[Nelzie]

I applaud you - you sound like a great nurse. I work with so many nurses on a regular basis who are bitter, burned out, and rude/uncaring to both patients and coworkers.

Well, I'm new. Haven't had a chance yet to get bitter and burned out. And I hope I never do. I would leave the profession first. I too have seen many uncaring nurses and I just want to grab them and say "why the hell are you in this profession?!" If you don't care about people, you have no business in nursing, in my opinion. I understand that nursing is a high burnout job, but when that happens it is time to move on. It is bad enough to be stuck in a hospital when you are sick, you shouldn't have to deal with crabby, rude people taking care of you

[wordsmith]

It seems like technicians can get away being more clinical with their jobs than the people who deal with personalities and families.

[Nelzie]

It seems like technicians can get away being more clinical with their jobs than the people who deal with personalities and families.

Very true. The lab techs, x-ray techs, room service techs, etc. are usually just in and out in a few minutes, while the nurses are with the patient for hours. And usually for more than one day.

[shimma]

If you were in a hospital and your family memeber died, would you be offended if the nurse cried with you or would you be glad your nurse cared so much about your family member?

I think it's just fine. I quite honestly wouldn't notice/remember, but I think the people who don't freak and black out would be touched.

[Spinney]

I've never seen a dead person outside of a funeral. This probably isn't quite what the OP was getting at, but here's my "dead body" story.

I did see a dead kitten in someone's driveway once, on New Year's Eve. I was walking home from my best friend's house after the party and saw it lying there. I've seen dead animals before but this was different. It had obviously been hit by one of the cabs that was pulling into driveways on that main drag at 30km per hour to pull a quick u-turn. Once in a while these whackos would lose control and slide onto the lawn, tearing it up in the process. There was a very small amount of blood considering, but what got me was that the whole body was glistening with frost.

It was probably the saddest thing I've ever seen. Someone obviously loved this thing which was probably only 6 months old. It bothered me for days. Frost usually makes things really beautiful, but here it only accentuated the loneliness of the "scene". Just imagining that this poor kitten dying like that, alone right in front of its home...and the owner discovering it in the morning...

[pisces2473]

Um, why was a KITTEN outside in the cold if someone loved it so much?

Your story just made me almost throw up and cry.

[Spinney]

It's not at all uncommon on the east coast to let cats go outside in the winter...they usually come back pretty quick after checking their territory around the house. It was only a little below freezing at the time, and was probably warmer than that when it went out.

Luckily my cat was starting to get bored of going outside, so making her an indoor cat wasn't all that hard.

[wordsmith]

All that cats on my parents' farm live outside.

[pisces2473]

All that cats on my parents' farm live outside.
Yeah, but there's not a ton of cars and stuff...they've got room to roam. Plus, they aren't really "pets", right? They are more like farm cats, keeping the rats at bay. This was someone's little kitty!!!!!!! :cry:

[wordsmith]

My dad isn't a big pet person, but they're assuredly pets to my mom. Growing up, we considered them pets, too, they all had names, etc. But b/c of the high mortality rate, we didn't get all that attached. Sad if they died, sure, but not the same trauma you'd feel if your house cat of 12 years died.