Sorta "Homeless"

[wordsmith]

In college, it took me a while to feel at home...like, by the time I graduated, I was finally starting to feel like I was really getting to know people and make strong bonds, and then it was over (fortunately, the bonds HAVE proven to be strong - although I rarely see those people anymore, we call/write/e-mail).

I moved to a large city and lived there for several years after college, and while I loved it, it never became "home" because it was very hard to meet people with my then-erratic work schedule.

I moved back to my hometown six months ago to try a new career path with a supportive family safety net to catch me if it didn't work out. It has-love the job- but I've found that this no longer feels like "home," either...in some ways, it always will, of course, but being spoiled by city living, and no longer relating to the people who've never left my small hometown makes me feel lonelier, almost, than when I was alone in a city of three million. What to do?

[Steel9561]

Hi, my name is Luis. I have a story of service. I am 20 years old. I have been serving the homeless 4 years and the sick 2 years. I am Catholic. I am looking for someone who could help me make a movie of my own life just like the story of Liz Murray("From Homelessness To Harvard") was converted into a movie. I already have the story to make the movie and I wrote it through stages from childhood until today. At my local parish, some people think that I am an inspiration. I don't think that I am an inspiration but if some people think that I am an inspiration then why not make a movie about my life that would benefit all other Youth about Service. I already have an inspirational message. I just need someone to make the movie. Please help me. My email: Steel9561@yahoo.com

I have been serving the poor and the sick alone and when you serve alone you suffer more than when you serve with someone else. The Movie will show my service since I started doing service alone until I stop serving alone and started helping the poor and the sick with someone else. I even have the name of the movie: The Service is for Free: The Story of Luis Lazo. That's the name I would put to the movie but I could consider other names as alternatives. At my local parish I gave my testimony and a new ministry has been given to me. I am the founder of Water of Christ Ministry: Youth Ministry where the Waters of Christ spill in blessings on the poor and the sick. I am working with my local parish and I have been helping the homeless with other youth. Thanks in Advance.

Sincerely,

Luis

[meatwad]

Two things

1) Talk about your mother of all thread hijacks. WTF?

2) I went from a town of 30,000 to a town of about 6,000. It's not really the same, but you'd be surprised how big a difference there is. There is absolutely NOTHING to do here. I just joined a gym, that'll probably last a week :D. I've been visiting the neighboring towns trying to make friends, but it's tough. I'm not that far from where I came from, but it seems like i'm getting distanced from my frineds lately, and more than just in miles.

No real answers for you Words, but I guess I've got at least some idea of what you're talking about.

[steph78]

You just scared me a little! I grew up in a small town, loved it, still love it every time I go back to visit, still know people there, etc. I went to college in a medium-sized town - big enough to have more to do but still small enough to feel home-y. Then I moved to Atlanta for grad school and still live here. Like you, with work I find that I am never "home" enough to make friends. With the few friends I have made, I feel like I am always out of the loop because I am often having to work late and missing out on doing stuff with them. So my husband is now one semester away from his PhD (Yay!) and his top-choice job would be located in a smaller college town not much bigger than the one I grew up in. While Atlanta is a nice enough place, I definitely don't feel at home here, I find myself feeling like I CAN'T WAIT for him to graduate so we can move out of the city and really settle in a small town where I feel at home and we can move on to the next phase of our lives.

What I'm getting from your post is that I may be getting my hopes way up and may end up disappointed? I guess it just depends on the specific situation.

Aren't you trying to find a job in another location now?

[jwsthe3rd]

I know exactly how you feel bud! When I finally went away to college, and moved out of my small hometown, I was so excited. I got to college, and hoped I would make tons of new friends and be much happier, although the town I moved to was somewhat smaller. My freshman year was pretty awesome, and I made some good friends, but the three years that followed seemed really lonesome. I ended up feeling even more isolated because I was spending all my spare time with my boyfriend who lived an hour away in a larger city. So, by the time I graduated from college, I really only had 2 close friends left. Then I moved to Roanoke, Va with my boyfriend and we made a whole new set of friends. After the break-up, I had to move back home, after being away from my hometown for 5 years. It was a rough transition. I tried making friends through work, but they were all so different from me. I made one good friend, but she turned out to be an unreliable friend, so were not even friends anymore. I started travelling to Charlotte, NC, which is about 40 mins north of here to try and make friends, since it's where I want to move. Still, it's very hard to make friends when you live a certain distance out. I find that I can't relate to anyone here in my hometown because they all are completely satisfied with living here, unlike me. There is this small town mentality here, and it seems like everyone here never leaves or goes out to party or anything. I have a yearning to be wrapped up in the big city life and they would rather stay at home in this sleepy little town. So, needless to say, I am very lonely here. I don't have any friends at all in town. There is absolutely nothing to do in Lancaster. We have a bowling alley, but I certainly can't bowl alone. The only thing I can do for fun is rent movies from the video store, and that gets old really really fast. My friends are now all electronic friends that I chat with online, whom I only see whenever I go out to the bars/clubs in Charlotte. I also try keeping in touch with friends from college and from Roanoke, but it's not the same. I just want to move to Charlotte so I can build my life and a good circle of friends. So don't feel too bad, because there are lots of people that feel the same way you do.

[WeirdBrake]

Just to clarify for something that might have gone unnoticed... if you look at the top, you'll see that wordsmith wrote the original post more than 3 and a half years ago. Steel9561 bumped it up today with his reply.

[Bugsey34]

Haha! I didn't even notice the date! WS, can you update us on the situation?

[shimmer728]

Poor Wordsmith, it only took someone 4 years to reply! And they didn't even, really..

That's what I was thinking!

[GetMeOuttaDC]

Poor Wordsmith, it only took someone 4 years to reply! And they didn't even, really..

No kidding... I feel bad. :(

[lilyflower]

Jess, my hometown is fairly "small-town" mentality also - not a lot of people will ever leave... and as someone who has, I really don't feel welcome when I go back there. I ended up living back there for a month once after college and it was painfully uncomfortable. Even 5-second "hi how are you" convos with people I went to high school, etc with are strained when I am back there on the holidays. No, I don't relate to these people, and their willingness to try to relate to me or rekindle old friendships (in all cases but one, and she's just that type) is just non existent. I think part of it is a jealousy thing, part is a "you think you're too good for us" thing.

You don't seem 100% comfortable there to be honest. Maybe a change of scenery is what you need.

Oh hell yeah, Kelly, my small town is the same way, it's about 3,000 and it's not near any major metro - most people don't leave, EVER and since there's no real jobs there it's perfectly acceptable to live in your parents basement or work retail even if you DO finish college. I never really fit in there in the first place and I go back now and it's all nine zillion kinds of awkward. I feel like I have to apologize for my success, a sort of "sorry, I got out and you didn't" kind of thing. I could never imagine going back.

At the same point, I really don't feel like Jersey is home yet, but actually being single at 25 here doesn't make me a freak so it's a little better.

[cornflakegirl]

Poor Wordsmith, it only took someone 4 years to reply! And they didn't even, really..

i didn't even realize, but that is sad. wordsmith, how's that going for ya?


& yeah, that is the mother of all threadjacks, well would have been had there actually been a thread & not just one lonely post for 4 years.

[steph78]

Sorry, I didn't realize the date either! I was thinking it was kind of a strange topic given other posts on the job application situation lately!

[pisces2473]

I'm sure Jess will get a kick out of this when she gets back to her computer, lol.

[wordsmith]

I'll have you all know that this is my FIRST QLC POST EVER, back in the day when there were about 5 site members, and you could go for a month without anything changing.

When newbies feel like their threads don't get answered, please note that this only took four and a half years to get a response!

As an update, I'd have to say that my outlook has changed since '01 significantly, rather than feeling like I have no home, I now feel like I have no ONE home, but rather that there are lots of places that are home to me. I still have gaps in perspective with my hometown friends, most of whom haven't had my same life's experiences, but I'm much better about appreciating those friendships for what they are, rather than expecting them to be something that can't ever be.

As far as maintaining things with college friends I don't see often, I just took as my date to my brother's wedding a friend I haven't even seen in more than two years for various reasons, but he and I realized this weekend that we've been close for going on ten years (first met as college freshmen), and we're pretty much in it for life, if we can go a couple of years without hanging out, and it feels like we just did.

[Bugsey34]

Yay for happy endings! Only 9,000 some odd posts later.

[wordsmith]

Ha! Yeah, also, it's important to note that I don't hate my town or feel uncomfortable or out of place in it...I wouldn't have moved back if that were the case. It was an adjustment period to get back into the different pace of things from large urban center to small town, but I spent 18 years in a small town, and having lived six away (four of them in a town only very slightly larger, and two in a large city), I'd have to say that I'll probably always be more "small town" than the reverse regardless of where I live. I'm okay with that.

I am looking for a new job, but not because I hate what I'm doing, because it's served its purpose, and it's time for what's next. I gave this job 3-5 years, to begin iwth, so I'm pretty much right on schedule for looking for something new. It's time to add another place to call home.

[temptation]

No, I don't relate to these people, and their willingness to try to relate to me or rekindle old friendships (in all cases but one, and she's just that type) is just non existent. I think part of it is a jealousy thing, part is a "you think you're too good for us" thing.

You don't seem 100% comfortable there to be honest. Maybe a change of scenery is what you need.

(((WORDSMITH)))


Yeah, I get the "you think you're too good for us" thing a lot and my city isn't all that small. It's just that people don't tend to leave my city and I did. Plus I travel a lot. It's just very difficult to relate to people who don't have a clue about what you've experienced.

*EDIT*

Man, I didn't even notice the date of the post. Anyway, I guess you don't need my advice.

[WeirdBrake]

I'll have you all know that this is my FIRST QLC POST EVER, back in the day when there were about 5 site members, and you could go for a month without anything changing.

And what was the price of sugar? :p