holiday spinoff: sides of your family...

[pisces2473]

Which side are you closer with? Mom's or Dad's? Who do you see more for the holidays?

While my dad's family is closer, geographically, I am much closer with my mom's family. My dad's family has been pulled apart by petty bullshit that has occurred because of our family business.

[tina1979]

deleted

[biodork]

I'm closer to my mom's side, but only because I grew up near them and because of the family business (although that didn't make for the happiest of times). My dad's side didn't live that much further away, but I only saw them like once a year, at xmas time.

[pisces2473]

Also, my grandmother's (dad's mom) death really screwed things up. Her sons depended on her too much. Right after she died, my uncle left his wife, and then a lot of the petty bullshit with the business started.

[Kitty]

Neither. Both sides are freaks. I was very, very close to my grandparents, but they're dead now. As far as cousins and uncles/aunts...not so much.

[LakeJay]

I'm closer to my dad's side. Our ages co-mingle more and plus more of them are in the US and Canada, while a majority of my mom's side is still in the Philippines.

[biodork]

I actually borderline hate one of my cousins on my dad's side...but then again I'm not the only one lol

[Winter Storm]

My mom's family; all 5 that I know of (there are dozens of us but I haven't met most; people severed ties years ago, and I never met most of my family, don't even know their names).

[WorkInProgress]

Closer to Dad's side, actually. Both are about equally far away. There's some level of drama everywhere, but we try very hard not to get sucked in and I think we remain remarkably unsplattered.

[steph78]

I was lucky to be very close to BOTH sides growing up - extended family on both sides lived less than an hour away from where I grew up. My mom is an only child so there are no aunts/uncles/cousins on that side, and my grandparents totally doted on me and my brother since we were their only grandchildren. And Dad's side of the family is not huge - I just have one aunt/uncle and set of cousins so we got together frequently (still do).

I was unbelievably lucky on holidays - since my two sets of grandparents lived so close to one another and my mom's parents didn't have anyone but us to spend holidays with, my mom's parents would just come over and have holiday dinners with my dad's side of the family. The two families truly merged after my parents got married, and we always spent holidays with the exact same group. So now that I'm married I've had a hard time dealing with splitting time between my husband's gigantic extended family and my small close-knit one...

[pisces2473]

I was lucky to be very close to BOTH sides growing up - extended family on both sides lived less than an hour away from where I grew up. My mom is an only child so there are no aunts/uncles/cousins on that side, and my grandparents totally doted on me and my brother since we were their only grandchildren. And Dad's side of the family is not huge - I just have one aunt/uncle and set of cousins so we got together frequently (still do).

I was unbelievably lucky on holidays - since my two sets of grandparents lived so close to one another and my mom's parents didn't have anyone but us to spend holidays with, my mom's parents would just come over and have holiday dinners with my dad's side of the family. The two families truly merged after my parents got married, and we always spent holidays with the exact same group. So now that I'm married I've had a hard time dealing with splitting time between my husband's gigantic extended family and my small close-knit one...
That's how it was when I was little. My mom's 2 sisters, brother, mom and grandmother would come down to CT from RI to visit, and then my dad's family would come over (they lived super-close). I was the first grandchild on both sides, so my parents were the default hosts for the holidays. Over the years it dwindled--by death and marriage--but it was still pretty good.

I think that my immediate family--parents and brother--and C's family will end up doing things together, just because of the sizes. Our dads get along and so do our brothers, and my mom thinks his grandmother is cute. So this is good!

[steph78]

I think that my immediate family--parents and brother--and C's family will end up doing things together, just because of the sizes. Our dads get along and so do our brothers, and my mom thinks his grandmother is cute. So this is good!
That's really great - you're lucky! My husband's extended family is kind of huge, and lives in a totally different region than my extended family so we are stuck splitting holidays between them. My husband is the youngest of 3 boys, and his older sisters-in-law always want to do stuff with THEIR families so it gets kind of huge - I end up hanging out with in-laws-in-law or however they're related to me! They are all really nice but they aren't on a consistent holiday schedule like my family always was, it kind of screws me up to not have a default holiday plan and have to run around checking with everyone to see who's going to be in town, who's hosting this year, what the plan is, etc.

[pisces2473]

That's really great - you're lucky! My husband's extended family is kind of huge, and lives in a totally different region than my extended family so we are stuck splitting holidays between them. My husband is the youngest of 3 boys, and his older sisters-in-law always want to do stuff with THEIR families so it gets kind of huge - I end up hanging out with in-laws-in-law or however they're related to me! They are all really nice but they aren't on a consistent holiday schedule like my family always was, it kind of screws me up to not have a default holiday plan and have to run around checking with everyone to see who's going to be in town, who's hosting this year, what the plan is, etc.
Yeah, it's great, but I'll still miss the rest of my family. Unless I host it and have EVERYONE come visit! Nowadays, things aren't very consistent like they used to be when I was younger.

[SmilesSoSweet]

I'm closer to my dad's side. Our ages co-mingle more and plus more of them are in the US and Canada, while a majority of my mom's side is still in the Philippines.

I'm closer to my dad's side as well. My mom's side I'm only close with the ones that are in the states and they're much older. I still have cousins on both sides of the family that are still in The Philippines too.

I grew up with my cousins from my dad's side. His parents lived with us for a time being, too. And I was more in the middle of the pack age-wise so it was fun to have older and younger cousins to play with. Now we span in age from 18-33 (45 if you count a cousin in the Philippines, but I don't really know her) and when we get together, watch out we're crazy! hehehe.

As for the holidays, I spend them with my dad's side and it's always at my parents' house. It's just the way it's always been. It's like my parents' house is the central headquarters. They're also the only ones that haven't moved since they bought that house over twenty years ago, so it's the only place that's been constant.

Oh and out of the twenty grandkids that my grandparents (dad' parents) have, 13 of us have the same last name (it's not common either) so we've always used that as a good connection too. We can a pass as siblings as well. We're a tight-knit family.

At my brother's wedding, that was the first time that I saw both my mom and dad's sides together. And my sister in law said that her family was amazed my family. Her family thought they knew how to party but, they (my family) basically put them to shame. :)

[wordsmith]

Growing up, I was equally close to both sides, emotionally.

I saw my paternal side much more, b/c I lived very close to most of them (within walking distance of my grandma, I saw her every day), but even though I was about 25 miles away from my maternal side extended family, always very close emotionally).

We always split holiday time evenly, spending each major holiday at one's earlier in the day, and the other late in the day.

My dad sometimes says now that it sucked to have to pull us away from our Christmas morning toys at home and go first to one granparent's house, and then the other, and come back late at night, but I never remember being sad about it, I think that's his mental revisionist history. I think now he wishes we'd have had Christmas days at home with just the immediate fam, but I always remember it being fine to make the relative rounds. Maybe it sucked for him and my mom, though.

Now, though, I'm not as close to my paternal extended fam, because all our family traditions kind of gave up the ghost when my grandma got Alzheimer's. Everyone goes their own way now. I never see them. My maternal side, I'm still tight with.

[SmilesSoSweet]

Oh and to clarify my cousins (which I'm sure I have already done so in another post):

My dad is one of 8 - two girls and six boys, out of the eight, six had kids for a total of twenty. Out of the twenty, 13 have the same last name. I'm the 11th of 20. And there was a time between 1975-1981 where there was at least one cousin being born. My grandparents just loved it. All these grandchildren running around!

My mom was one of six - four girls and two boys (if you don't count the many, many half-siblings she has - grandpa was bad!), out of the six, all had kids so that brings the total to 17, I think. I'm the second youngest, which is why I never felt as close to them as I did to my dad's side.

[coll214]

Ahh extended family... mine's an odd bunch.

Pre-divorce, I'd say i was rather close with my dad's side; we all for the most part lived in the same town sans one aunt and grandparents. Three of us- me included- are the same age, me and one cousin one week apart. We'd see my mother's sister a few times a year and a select grouping of her many many cousins and aunts/uncles. And on a whim hop in the car to visit my mom's now deceased sister in Vermont on some weekends. Plus my cousins on that side are all much older than me or my sis as compared to Dad's where we are all within 24-29 years old.

Especially now and this year, it's all screwy... my paternal relatives, including me are not speaking to Dad and we used to always rotate Christmas Eve with them. I imagine this year at the minimum i'll go to an aunt's house and it used to be go to Dad's after that, but who knows. As for my mother's side, when we were little Christmas was always at our house, it was the one holiday my mom would get from my Martha Stewart-like aunt since we were so young; but now neither wants to leave their houses, so we do our own thing. It's kind of depressing actually. I liked the big family get-togethers.

Just recently actually it seems i'm talking/spending more time with my paternal cousins which is nice, since we all are in the same age range and well share the same screwy relatives. :rolleyes:

[SmilesSoSweet]

I think another reason why I'm close to my cousins on both sides is that most of my aunts and uncles are still married. On my dad's side only one of his sisters is divorced, the other five that married are still married.

On my mom's side only one of her brothers is divorced. And like my dad's sister, I have never met this uncle either.

We never had to deal with step/half relatives. I know my mom has her half-siblings, but I was never close to them.

[Krishna]

Which side are you closer with? Mom's or Dad's? Who do you see more for the holidays?

While my dad's family is closer, geographically, I am much closer with my mom's family. My dad's family has been pulled apart by petty bullshit that has occurred because of our family business.

I see my mom's family more frequently than my dad's family. However, I see my boyfriend's family more than I see either side of my family.

[coll214]

I think another reason why I'm close to my cousins on both sides is that most of my aunts and uncles are still married. On my dad's side only one of his sisters is divorced, the other five that married are still married.

On my mom's side only one of her brothers is divorced. And like my dad's sister, I have never met this uncle either.

We never had to deal with step/half relatives. I know my mom has her half-siblings, but I was never close to them.
Of my living aunts/uncles; my parents on BOTH sides are the only divorced members. So we're also seen as the 'damaged' kids of the family.

[EmberMae]

Growing up, probably mom's side. They lived only 3 hours a way and we went up there a few times a year. Now, neither. I basically only see my cousins and aunts/uncles for weddings and funerals.

[wordsmith]

Of my living aunts/uncles; my parents on BOTH sides are the only divorced members. So we're also seen as the 'damaged' kids of the family.

We only have one "broken home child" among my cousins, too. In her case, though, it wasn't so much her being seen as the damaged child as kinda demanding to be seen as the damaged child.

In her case, lots of pity partying and attentionwhoring, which she's kind of never really grown out of by her early 30s. She also was the only one of us who was an only child, and was always pretty bitter to not have siblings.

[SmilesSoSweet]

She also was the only one of us who was an only child, and was always pretty bitter to not have siblings.

There isn't any only child kids in either side of my family out of the cousins. So we all knew how to get along with each other and always liked having the rest of the cousins around.