grab bag controversy!!!

[GreenwithEnvy]

For the past few years, my friends and I have done a grab bag for Christmas. HOWEVER, as usual, one or two of us have to have an issue with the set amount that we proposed to spend.
The first year it was $20 and last year it was $40.
It might just be me, but I think forty dollars is a lot for a bunch of collage kids who really have no idea what to get each other in the first place.
And, of course, my friend's pompous boyfriend actually proposed (almost demanded) that we set the limit at one hundred dollars. Yes, one hundred. As in one, zero, zero.
Asshole. Of course, he's the manager at an ice cream store whose parents pay his bills so...

Moving on, this has really become an issue b/c we all have different levels of income and various financial responsibilites during the holidays. Two of us have full time jobs in the medical field. Three of us are college kids -- two of which don't have jobs. Three of us work shitty retail while going to school and paying for cars, phones, food, etc.
So of course the 'rich' people want to spend a ton of money and have a ton of money spend on them. Now I WISH I could spend that much money on my friends, but I make $6.70 an hour and simply can't.
I think $30 is plenty.
Some think $20 is too much. And then there's the a-hole who wants it to be $100.

I thought of putting it to a vote but...God only knows what kind of outcome that'll have.
Any other suggestions?

[BlueEyedFunOne]

Who the hell says you have to get each other presents, or participate in this grab-bag thing? Can you make a suggestion to do something else?

My crew of friends and I do a big pot-luck dinner before Christmas. That way, we're all together, enjoying the holidays and each other's company, and having good food. To me, that's what the holidays are about, not setting a dollar amount on grab-bag presents.

[Ciderhillnh]

My friends and I do presents.....but we dont let it get out of hand.

We typically do a big dinner with everyone that can attend on a certain date....

As for gifts, I make an annual CD with all the songs that meant something from the past year....its become a bit tedious since it used to be just 10 and last year it jumped to 25 and this year its 70........but its something small and sweet.

[DontHate]

I like that CD idea, Ciderhillnh. I've always thought grab bag, or Secret Santa was a bad idea. A better idea would be for each person to buy or make something to distribute to the whole group. That way you don't have to worry about figuring out what someone wants, or even worst being forced to smile when you've realized you're on the recieving in of a crappy gift idea.

[TranquilSkye]

Well as much as I think its lovely that you want to show your friends how much you care with a gift I don't feel that it is any of their business how much you plan to spend or actually will spend. All they really need to know is that you took the time and effort to get them something that you felt they would like and if they insist on playing the who spent more game tell them to go pound sand. You should not feel guilty or pressured into setting a spending limit that is out of your range, just tell these rich people that you are happy to provide gifts but are declining to state what you will be spending on each of them because the time and effort you put in is worth way more than the gifts price tag will ever be. And if thats not good enough, then like I said before, tell them to go pound sand.

[GreenwithEnvy]

^ this is actually what I've proposed several times, but SOME people (mainly my friend's boyfriend) is a complete, materialistic asshole. I just know that someone will go out and buy, like,a laptop, and someone else will buy a toothbrush.
I'M not materialistic...I would love it if someone bought me flowers and my favorite candy or something...but there are like one or two people who are just so damn caught up in this commercialized Xmas crap...ugh it's so annoying!!!
Maybe I should suggest that we have a 'rich people' grab bag and a 'poor people' grab bag.

[LaFille]

i did a secret santa in college with 7 friends and i seriously think the limit was $10. it was great because we were all so broke. my one friend bought school supplies for my other friend. i got pajamas one year. my other friend tried to do a different craft each year for someone's gift and it always turned out shitty. it was always really fun and no one took it seriously.

i can't believe people would want to spend $100. sorta takes the creativity aspect out of it. you should do $20 gifts and spend the remaining $80 at the bar.

[WorkInProgress]

I can't even imagine what someone would put in that costs $100, honestly.

Plus, it's not like anyone's saving much if there's a $100 limit. It might actually be cheaper to get individual gifts, thus defeating the purpose of the grab bag.

The lower limit grab bag and the upper limit grab bag might be the way to go, although even that sounds kinda lame.

(Does this conversation remind anyone of that Friends episode where they go out to a fancy restaurant and have to discuss how to split the bill?)

[LaFille]

there are like one or two people who are just so damn caught up in this commercialized Xmas crap...ugh it's so annoying!!!

can you gang up on them and decide that you're going to do it the way you want? why should one or two people dictate what the others do?

[pisces2473]

Ha, I think you should be grateful that you have enough friends to even THINK about doing a grab bag with. Why not all just get dressed up and go out for a super nice dinner?

[WorkInProgress]

Ha, I think you should be grateful that you have enough friends to even THINK about doing a grab bag with. Why not all just get dressed up and go out for a super nice dinner?

That sounds like a great idea to me.

[DontHate]

Ha, I think you should be grateful that you have enough friends to even THINK about doing a grab bag with. Why not all just get dressed up and go out for a super nice dinner?
Or better yet, get dressed up and have a nice potluck. The dish can = your gift.

[pisces2473]

Or better yet, get dressed up and have a nice potluck. The dish can = your gift.
Ooooh that is always fun!