Not speaking up at a meeting

[dreams82]

Does anyone feel like an idiot when you just sit there not contributing in a meeting? I was a part of a volunteer lunch to recap our fundraiser we held last Saturday night. While I did agree and disagree when asked my opinion, I didn't offer up any suggestions like some people did. I just sat there, I had nothing to offer. I've never liked to speak in public, I don't like having all eyes on me, what if I have food on my face or something!? Anyway, it probably has more to do with self esteem and feeling like what I have to say doesn't matter, just wanted to see if anyone else has found themselves just sitting there, not contributing much. What do you do when you just have nothing to say? Make stuff up?

[cache]

Sorry, I usually have something to say even when I am not supposed to. :huge:

[WorkInProgress]

If I have something to say, I say it. If I don't have anything to contribute, then I don't, but I've yet to be in a meeting (or work for an employer) where my relevant thoughts/opinions/suggestions are unwelcome.

[Kitty]

I usually force myself to say something early on - for some reason, that makes me more likely to continue to contribute throughout the meeting.

[wordsmith]

I was never comfortable contributing to group meetings or discussions (shy, not the highest self-esteem, so I'd worry that people would think that what I had to contribute wasn't worthwhile). But when I started college, I forced myself in lecture classes to sit in front and make a point to participate at least twice each class period...and I got over it and started to like it. Now that I'm a reporter, nothing about speaking in group meetings or discussions bothers me at all. I still don't like public speaking, though.

[CTGirl]

If I'm in a meeting with higher-ups (especially now that i'm brand new at this company) I'll often keep pretty quiet and just listen. They'll ususally ask for my input though either during the meeting or right after. In all other meetings, I'm pretty vocal, as I'm a very opinionated person, lol.

If you genuinely have nothing to say/contribute, then you obviously dont wanna be making things up just to talk, but if you have an opinion on what's being said, you should share it.

[steph78]

Does anyone feel like an idiot when you just sit there not contributing in a meeting? I was a part of a volunteer lunch to recap our fundraiser we held last Saturday night. While I did agree and disagree when asked my opinion, I didn't offer up any suggestions like some people did. I just sat there, I had nothing to offer. I've never liked to speak in public, I don't like having all eyes on me, what if I have food on my face or something!? Anyway, it probably has more to do with self esteem and feeling like what I have to say doesn't matter, just wanted to see if anyone else has found themselves just sitting there, not contributing much. What do you do when you just have nothing to say? Make stuff up?
How long have you been working in this job? When I first started out of school I often sat through meetings just listening because I was still in a learning phase - there were always so many new things coming at me that I mostly just tried to absorb what I needed to know. I was kind of afraid that I'd end up looking dumb or showing my lack of experience in front of clients so I'd save questions for my project manager afterwards. Now that I've been in the same job 5 years, I am a LOT more comfortable with the topics being discussed and I don't hesitate to jump in and ask a question or point out something I think needs to be addressed. And now it's often me meeting with clients alone rather than me and my superior...so I have to be heavily involved in the discussions or there would be no point in having it! It was just a gradual process getting to this comfort level.

[dreams82]

I have been with this agency in my position for a year and 4 months. We did this same fundraiser last year, but I didn't have any new thoughts or suggestions, I pretty much just sat and listened. I hope this doesn't make me look stupid. When I heard something I agreed with, I nodded in agreement or made it known that I agreed, but other than that, I didn't have anything new to add that wasn't being discussed. I think I am just not in that comfort level yet to speak up, or maybe I am just not creative.

[J-girl]

How long have you been working in this job? When I first started out of school I often sat through meetings just listening because I was still in a learning phase - there were always so many new things coming at me that I mostly just tried to absorb what I needed to know. I was kind of afraid that I'd end up looking dumb or showing my lack of experience in front of clients so I'd save questions for my project manager afterwards. Now that I've been in the same job 5 years, I am a LOT more comfortable with the topics being discussed and I don't hesitate to jump in and ask a question or point out something I think needs to be addressed. And now it's often me meeting with clients alone rather than me and my superior...so I have to be heavily involved in the discussions or there would be no point in having it! It was just a gradual process getting to this comfort level.
I think thats it. I feel more comfortable just writing notes and listening ntently than just to contribute for the heck of it. I always ask my super questions later though.

[Empressallie]

I usually don't contribue because I don't really give a shit about most things and I think most people blow things out of proportion.

If its a small meeting I am much mroe apt to participate. In large boardrooms forget about it. They lay into you so bad if it's not brilliant.

Although, my bosses boss once said that whenever I say anything in a meeting she listens becuase I am "memorable'. With my current attitude I really don't see how that's possible.

[cache]

I usually don't contribue because I don't really give a shit about most things and I think most people blow things out of proportion.



OK, I agree with this one.

"What, we are out of plastic spoons in the lunch room? We better have a conference call to set up a meeting so we can form a committee to get to the bottom of this."

[Empressallie]

"What, we are out of plastic spoons in the lunch room? We better have a conference call to set up a meeting so we can form a committee to get to the bottom of this."

OMG I KNOW! It's so ridiculous the stuff they get ruffled over. Like, come on now, there are bigger things in life. And when I look through files and see work going on as usual, or getting upset about trivial things, with the datemarked 9/11/2001 it really makes me crazy.

[wordsmith]

I only do small workplaces, so there's not much bs/bureaucracy to get through in meetings, and we're to the point and in and out quickly, thank God.

[Empressallie]

Yeah, the more layers of management you have the more inefficient a place becomes. Everyone assumes someone else will handle an issue, or it takes so much friggin "approval" to do anything that you end up moving at a frustratingly slow pace.

I just don't understand people who have had it really rough, like cancer survivors, who freak out about dumb shit at work. We have this one woman (cancer survivor) who constantly sends bitchy emails about dumb shit. It's like, aren't you lucky just to be alive? Appreciate it!

[FockeWulf]

I used to be in the same predicament. Oddly enough, my programming degree required that I take some 4 public speaking classes. They really do help out when it comes time to voice your opinion or contribute to a group discussion. If you don’t have anything to say, I wouldn’t sweat over it; unless of course, you boss gets on your case about it.

[ya never know..]

I can relate to this, as just this year I was nominated to be Secretary for the one club I belong to. I'm not comfortable speaking in front of people, but I have to read the minutes and correspondence. It's a 2-year commitment, and since I'm just getting the hang of it, so hopefully when the 2 years are up I'll be a pro at talking in front of old people!! LOL