Your opinion: Dinner with girlfriend’s parents and mine

[kneedrag32]

I was casually chatting with some female coworkers about a dinner my girlfriend and I plan to host with our parents [ed - As in both parents together]. “Do you know what that means!?!?” one exclaimed. I originally didn’t think much about it, but now my coworkers have me wondering. Does this mean way more to my girlfriend than I realize?

About US: We have been dating for 6 months, haven’t said the “L” word, we’ve both spent ample time with each other’s families, our parents very casually met once, briefly... we haven’t talked about “our future” besides acknowledging that we are very happy together. She is the closest thing I’ve found to someone I’d consider marrying, but really, I’m not planning to propose at any time.

Am I overreacting here? I originally thought it would be cool to get our parents together... not big deal. Am I just being A GUY??:question:

[WorkInProgress]

You might want to talk about it with your gf. If it's already been discussed and planned, then you might just be psyching yourself out now.

But it is the sort of thing that I think a lot of people think of as appropriate when big announcements are being made.

[Winter Storm]

I'll admit, some girls have a tendency to overthink this and make it a big deal, but considering its only been 6 months and you two haven't said the L word, I'd think it is no big deal and not worry.

When I met my guys' family, my friends were all 'that's a big step' and 'wow, things are getting serious'. It's not, we just hung out and had crabs. No more serious than 6 months ago.

[wordsmith]

Everyone I date, no matter how seriously or not seriously, meets my famiy pretty much immediately, because I spend a ton of time with them, so it's a package deal, more or less. It's not a "big step," it doesn't mean "we're serious," in my case it just it means that you're dating somebody who spends a lot of her free time with family, so you're invited to do so, too.

Due to this, I wouldn't personally read ANYthing into meeting a guy's parents. But there are women who do, obv.

[shimma]

When I met my guys' family, my friends were all 'that's a big step' and 'wow, things are getting serious'. It's not, we just hung out and had crabs. No more serious than 6 months ago.

And the family that gets crabs together, stays together!!! ;):

[wordsmith]

But if you're not planning on marrying your GF, you need to let her know now.

Huh? I don't think that's necessarily true AT ALL. I've certainly dated guys for longer than six months, and at no time did I feel that they needed to clue me in to whether or not marriage was on the table.

[Winter Storm]

But if you're not planning on marrying your GF, you need to let her know now.
Does a marriage talk really need to happen now? At just 6 months of dating?

[WorkInProgress]

I thought the OP was talking about a dinner with both sets of parents, rather than one of the SOs meeting the other's parents.

[Winter Storm]

Everyone I date, no matter how seriously or not seriously, meets my famiy pretty much immediately, because I spend a ton of time with them, so it's a package deal, more or less. It's not a "big step," it doesn't mean "we're serious," in my case it just it means that you're dating somebody who spends a lot of her free time with family, so you're invited to do so, too.

Due to this, I wouldn't personally read ANYthing into meeting a guy's parents. But there are women who do, obv.
Totally agree. I have known a few of my friends who met their guy's family, got all excited thinking things were progressing, only to get dumped shortly after.

I've learned not to overthink ANYTHING in dating anymore.

[shimma]

Does a marriage talk really need to happen now? At just 6 months of dating?

No, of course not, but if I were dating a guy for 6+ months and then found out, he plans to never get married, I'd be pissed he wasn't more honest about that sooner.

[shimma]

I thought the OP was talking about a dinner with both sets of parents, rather than one of the SOs meeting the other's parents.

that's the impression I got....

[Winter Storm]

No, of course not, but if I were dating a guy for 6+ months and then found out, he plans to never get married, I'd be pissed he wasn't more honest about that sooner.
Yeah but we're not talking about never getting married, but marriage isn't in the cards right now.

[embrassezla]

getting BOTH sets of parents together seems like a "serious relationship" move to me. I definitely wouldn't be doing that if I were in the OP's situation. Hell, I haven't done that in my current relationship (3+yrs & very serious), and I don't really plan to anytime soon.

Having said that, I am very close to my SO's family, and he's very close to mine. Just haven't brought the two together.

[wordsmith]

Eating dinner with both sets there doesn't seem any diff to me than eating with one set. Maybe that's just me.

[tina1979]

Everyone I date, no matter how seriously or not seriously, meets my famiy pretty much immediately, because I spend a ton of time with them, so it's a package deal, more or less. It's not a "big step," it doesn't mean "we're serious," in my case it just it means that you're dating somebody who spends a lot of her free time with family, so you're invited to do so, too.

Due to this, I wouldn't personally read ANYthing into meeting a guy's parents. But there are women who do, obv.
I agree with this.

However, I think that in this case it could be misconstrued. Maybe not by you or your gf, but possibly by the parents...

[shimma]

Yeah but we're not talking about never getting married, but marriage isn't in the cards right now.

Ok, my bad, the

I’m not planning to propose at any time

comment threw me... Carry on!

[and1grad]

Maybe not by you or your gf, but possibly by the parents...
Thats what I'm thinking which makes me think this is the wrong move.

[Krishna]

Does a marriage talk really need to happen now? At just 6 months of dating?

I wouldnt necessarily say it needs to happen after six months. BUT. At least for me, I assume that dating has the possibility to lead to marriage. If someone felt differently, I would hope they'd speak up before things got too serious.

[wordsmith]

I assume that dating has the possibility to lead to marriage.

I would never assume this at this stage of life.

If I'm in an actual relationship, yes, I would assume that there's at least some slim possibility that there is a future of some sort being looked toward. But when it's just in the dating stages? Nah. That's still in the "trying things on" realm.

[kneedrag32]

You guys rock! Thanks for the pulse check... I think I'll just have a casual chat w/ her about the dinner's purpose. I think it would be cool because we are both very close with our families... I believe she's on the same page.

[Winter Storm]

I assume that dating has the possibility to lead to marriage. If someone felt differently, I would hope they'd speak up before things got too serious.

I don't assume anything anymore. I got as far as picking out engagement rings, dividing up household bills and deciding where furniture would go and NONE of that came to pass.

I can hope there's a future, but I can't assume anything anymore.

You guys rock! Thanks for the pulse check... I think I'll just have a casual chat w/ her about the dinner's purpose. I think it would be cool because we are both very close with our families... I believe she's on the same page.

Good idea!

[Krishna]

I can hope there's a future, but I can't assume anything anymore.


Maybe "asume" was too strong of a word...

[shimma]

I don't assume anything anymore. I got as far as picking out engagement rings, dividing up household bills and deciding where furniture would go and NONE of that came to pass.


I hate your ex. I want to kick his ass. And you know what, he totally missed out.

[weary]

I don't assume anything anymore. I got as far as picking out engagement rings, dividing up household bills and deciding where furniture would go and NONE of that came to pass.

I can hope there's a future, but I can't assume anything anymore.

i've been there...exactly. like WS, i don't assume anything either. (don't really date anymore either though.)

[CTGirl]

I don't assume anything anymore. I got as far as picking out engagement rings, dividing up household bills and deciding where furniture would go and NONE of that came to pass.

I can hope there's a future, but I can't assume anything anymore.


lol, I hear that! We even talked about what we were gonna name our future children and what pets we wanted to get :rolleyes:

[Winter Storm]

lol, I hear that! We even talked about what we were gonna name our future children and what pets we wanted to get :rolleyes:
Yep, names were picked out, houses were looked at and we were playing around with ideas on daycare.

And I'm sure that all did happen....for him and his new wife.