How to talk to your boss without sounding like an idiot?

[pisces2473]

Or a whiner, or that you can't do your job, etc?

I've been at this job almost 3 months, and as some of you know, I haven't been super happy. My boss and I are having a meeting tomorrow (she's meeting with a few people, actually) about my workload and how I handle things and all that good stuff. I think EVERYONE is stressed, not just me, but being the lowest (the next newbie has been there a week longer) on the totem pole, I don't want to look like an ass.

I feel that they are putting too much on me--there isn't time to get everything done and it's like everyone thinks that I'm their assistant. I can't do work for everyone, and get my things done. I can't be getting this stressed out--and I can't be everyone's hero, answer phones, deal with deliveries, etc. I know it's about multi-tasking and balancing, and believe me, I worked many retail jobs so I know all about stress--but this job seems different. I also didn't think I'd be doing so much reception, either.

Also, some people treat me like a stupid bimbo. I'm intelligent, I went to college, I didn't think I'd be doing ALLLL these admin type things here at this job.

I don't want to be ungrateful and I am hoping to move up with the company--and I want them to see this!

[pisces2473]

Anyone?

[yankeeyosh]

Jen, it's for totally different reasons, but I'm trying to figure out the same thing...how to talk to my boss without sounding like the 'E' word.

[pisces2473]

Jen, it's for totally different reasons, but I'm trying to figure out the same thing...how to talk to my boss without sounding like the 'E' word.
Oh yeah...that too. I think my stressing out is becoming apparent and I'm afraid I'll look bratty.

[winneythepooh7]

I think telling her what you told us is a pretty good start. I mean, of course leave some of it out, but focus on how you are feeling that you are being stretched into a million different directions. Is it your role to be assisting everyone else? How many employees does that add up to? If you are phone and gopher girl and that's not really part of your job description, maybe the company could afford to hire someone at least P/T to do those things? That's how I got my assistant! She works from 9-2 every day and is a huge help.

Really discuss how you like the company and you are interested in professional growth within, and as you gain experience, moving up in the company.

Maybe bring in something written down with all your key points so it makes you look super-organized?

[pisces2473]

Ha, Winney...I was telling my mom before how they should just hire someone to work 10-3 doing phone stuff.

It is my role to be assisting others, but we are growing SO fast that I can't keep up with the workload. It's not "Oh I'm new, I don't know what I'm doing" because I've got it under control in that respect. It's the "Jen, can you do this?" "Jen, we need you in here working on this packet with us" "Jen, where's the artwork for that stuff" that keeps coming at me.

They told me at the interview that they were the type of company that would want me to grow with them...and that they would love to help me mold my interests, and that sort of stuff.

Now, I realize that this is only 3 months in (well, less than that) but I just feel like it's too much, too soon.

[winneythepooh7]

Ha, Winney...I was telling my mom before how they should just hire someone to work 10-3 doing phone stuff.

It is my role to be assisting others, but we are growing SO fast that I can't keep up with the workload. It's not "Oh I'm new, I don't know what I'm doing" because I've got it under control in that respect. It's the "Jen, can you do this?" "Jen, we need you in here working on this packet with us" "Jen, where's the artwork for that stuff" that keeps coming at me.

They told me at the interview that they were the type of company that would want me to grow with them...and that they would love to help me mold my interests, and that sort of stuff.

Now, I realize that this is only 3 months in (well, less than that) but I just feel like it's too much, too soon.

It was like that at my job when I was promoted to Program Manager. Prior to that, the program was very small. We expanded really quickly and it got to be a lot for me. There are lots of little things that I just don't have time to do, or honestly, really don't want to be bothered with. I also really didn't have time to go through all of our client and employee records and organize everything, and these were a disaster prior to my coming on board. They created the assistant position to help out in these areas. Also, because God forbid, I am not ever reachable, the sky may fall, is another reason they hired my assistant, so there would be someone there during the main part of the day to answer the phone.

[TinyDancer]

Or a whiner, or that you can't do your job, etc?

I've been at this job almost 3 months, and as some of you know, I haven't been super happy. My boss and I are having a meeting tomorrow (she's meeting with a few people, actually) about my workload and how I handle things and all that good stuff. I think EVERYONE is stressed, not just me, but being the lowest (the next newbie has been there a week longer) on the totem pole, I don't want to look like an ass.

I feel that they are putting too much on me--there isn't time to get everything done and it's like everyone thinks that I'm their assistant. I can't do work for everyone, and get my things done. I can't be getting this stressed out--and I can't be everyone's hero, answer phones, deal with deliveries, etc. I know it's about multi-tasking and balancing, and believe me, I worked many retail jobs so I know all about stress--but this job seems different. I also didn't think I'd be doing so much reception, either.

Also, some people treat me like a stupid bimbo. I'm intelligent, I went to college, I didn't think I'd be doing ALLLL these admin type things here at this job.

I don't want to be ungrateful and I am hoping to move up with the company--and I want them to see this!
I'll bite, Jen. :)

I think that a good way to frame this is that you WANT to do a good job, but it's difficult being pulled in so many directions by so many people.

Is there a way that work that people give you can be filtered through your direct supervisor so that he/she can help you set priorities? Even if that's not the best option, I think that you have to ask about how you can set priorities. . . because you want to do the best job possible, but that there aren't enough hours in the day to please everyone and get everything done.

I think that you could address the admin-type work *if* you feel like the timing is right and you won't come off as a whiny person. It's tough though. I think that you could mention that you were surprised at the level of administrative work, based about what you gathered during the interview process, BUT I would say that you're happy do to whatever you need to do. (If you truly want to work your way up and stay there, you may have to go this route in the way you frame it. . . this still sounds a bit whiny though) Our entry level jobs definitely require a lot more admin work, but it's something that you do when you're paying your dues and learning. I still do a fair amount, because dealing with customers, and even filling out paperwork, I learn stuff. I would be very careful how you tread with this one.

It might be best to separate these conversations. . . the more that I think about it. It's kinda tough for you to say, "I am willing to do whatever it takes to do well. . . oh, and by the way, I'm tired of the admin stuff. I'd rather not do that."

I'm not sure what the best way to address the stupid bimbo thing is. . . but maybe if you have some realistic goals, your work quality and interactions with people will be better. . . and will change people's perceptions of you.

You could bring this up to your boss. . . or is there anyone else at work that you can talk to about it? I'm lucky that I have people that I can go to (other than my boss) and say, "How do I deal with this person?" or "What approach do you think would be best in influencing so-and-so?"

[winneythepooh7]

I second the filtering work through your boss idea. We've adopted this where I work. Even though our VP and agency director are in Buffalo the majority of the time, they still want all emails CCed to them, as well as myself. We've really been able to catch on to some problems right away that way, especially where supervisors need to intervene and physically help out with a problem.

[pisces2473]

Yeah, I definitely like the filter idea, too. I even mentioned something in my email to my boss yesterday about setting up a procedure to handle incoming tasks--I'll go into more detail with her when we meet tomorrow.

Also, some coworkers are giving me the impression that I do nothing but sit around all day, waiting for their assignments. Well, it's really only one--this old guy who tries to pawn stuff off on everyone (found out from coworkers, haha)--and he treats me like crap--at least that's my view of the sitch. He just throws work at me and is like "do this." Sorry buddy, that's not how I roll.

[winneythepooh7]

Yeah, I definitely like the filter idea, too. I even mentioned something in my email to my boss yesterday about setting up a procedure to handle incoming tasks--I'll go into more detail with her when we meet tomorrow.

Also, some coworkers are giving me the impression that I do nothing but sit around all day, waiting for their assignments. Well, it's really only one--this old guy who tries to pawn stuff off on everyone (found out from coworkers, haha)--and he treats me like crap--at least that's my view of the sitch. He just throws work at me and is like "do this." Sorry buddy, that's not how I roll.

Good for you!! It really helps, trust me. Email is my best friend. Often my supervisors won't reply to every one, but some emails that have been sent to me (and not just from staff, but outside providers) have really helped them see needs for our program, and also advocate for my needs and the other staff needs.

I know I'm not telling you anything that you already don't know, but some people are just completely stupid in what they write and the way they present themselves in emails. It's a good way to keep a paper trail. Sorry for the slight twist in the thread.......

[pisces2473]

I'll bite, Jen. :)

I think that a good way to frame this is that you WANT to do a good job, but it's difficult being pulled in so many directions by so many people.
Thanks! I was hoping you would chime in, given your job. :) Oh yes, I want to do a good job, and that's where a lot of my stress is coming from. Being so harried and not knowing what the hell I'm doing is making me feel like I'm not doing a good job. I was definitely going to start out positively with: I like it here, I want to learn more, I feel that I'm doing an OK job, but I see room for improvement, and then I'd say the part about being pulled all over. I have tried to tell my boss this before, but she keeps saying things about multitasking. Today she even said that she doesn't get everything done.

Is there a way that work that people give you can be filtered through your direct supervisor so that he/she can help you set priorities? Even if that's not the best option, I think that you have to ask about how you can set priorities. . . because you want to do the best job possible, but that there aren't enough hours in the day to please everyone and get everything done.
I totally agree with this, and like I said in a prev. post, I want to implement some kind of structure.

I think that you could address the admin-type work *if* you feel like the timing is right and you won't come off as a whiny person. It's tough though. I think that you could mention that you were surprised at the level of administrative work, based about what you gathered during the interview process, BUT I would say that you're happy do to whatever you need to do.
I might save this for a later time...possibly during a review? Not sure.

(If you truly want to work your way up and stay there, you may have to go this route in the way you frame it. . . this still sounds a bit whiny though) Our entry level jobs definitely require a lot more admin work, but it's something that you do when you're paying your dues and learning. I still do a fair amount, because dealing with customers, and even filling out paperwork, I learn stuff. I would be very careful how you tread with this one.
I guess I didn't think I'd still be entry level at 26 and with 4 years of book experience. *sigh*

It might be best to separate these conversations. . . the more that I think about it. It's kinda tough for you to say, "I am willing to do whatever it takes to do well. . . oh, and by the way, I'm tired of the admin stuff. I'd rather not do that."
Hahaha, yeah, I see what you mean.

I'm not sure what the best way to address the stupid bimbo thing is. . . but maybe if you have some realistic goals, your work quality and interactions with people will be better. . . and will change people's perceptions of you.
Maybe. I think it's mostly this one guy that I mentioned before.

You could bring this up to your boss. . . or is there anyone else at work that you can talk to about it? I'm lucky that I have people that I can go to (other than my boss) and say, "How do I deal with this person?" or "What approach do you think would be best in influencing so-and-so?"
Yes, there is one woman who's been VERY helpful in assisting with troubleshooting.

Ugh, I just feel like by now, I should be able to handle this crap at work!

[pisces2473]

Good for you!! It really helps, trust me. Email is my best friend. Often my supervisors won't reply to every one, but some emails that have been sent to me (and not just from staff, but outside providers) have really helped them see needs for our program, and also advocate for my needs and the other staff needs.

I know I'm not telling you anything that you already don't know, but some people are just completely stupid in what they write and the way they present themselves in emails. It's a good way to keep a paper trail. Sorry for the slight twist in the thread.......
Yes, I have started CC'ing my boss and sometimes the other owner on things...just so they can see what I'm doing.

Oh no one's been a jerk to me in emails, except for that numbered list with the punching holes thing the other day.

[winneythepooh7]

Honestly, the biggest reasons for my stress when I first transitioned to this role were dealing with other staff bombarding me with their work. We now have a pretty good system down. Sometimes other people don't understand what their roles are either, as well as responsibilities. I mean, it takes like 2 seconds to make a freakin' copy. That's not something that needs to be pawned off all the time.

[Kitty]

Definitely keep your tone positive and phrase things like, "I'd like your input on what my priorities should be, what my deadlines are, reasonable timelines for projects, etc."

It's also better to go into these things with solutions you've already thought of - you won't come across as so complain-y if you do that. For example, "I've been having some difficulties with x and I was thinking we could do x and x to help that problem."

I'd also just flat out ask what is expected of you, what your duties are, etc.

[pisces2473]

Yeah, seriously. Punch your own damn holes in paper!

[TinyDancer]

Oh yes, I want to do a good job, and that's where a lot of my stress is coming from. Being so harried and not knowing what the hell I'm doing is making me feel like I'm not doing a good job. I was definitely going to start out positively with: I like it here, I want to learn more, I feel that I'm doing an OK job, but I see room for improvement, and then I'd say the part about being pulled all over. I have tried to tell my boss this before, but she keeps saying things about multitasking. Today she even said that she doesn't get everything done.
I think that this is completely common, and I'm sure that is why your boss can relate. This is also the reason that I have a tendency to work way more hours than are healthy!

Quite frankly, your boss may not even realize how much work you are doing until she has people going through her or you're coming to her to set priorities. I had someone working for me that was super efficient and waaaaay too nice. Little did I know that another admin was dumping on her and giving her tons of work that SHE should have been doing. I didn't find that out until after she'd been here a year and I started doing some snooping around. I felt bad that I was so ignorant to this fact. . . but sometimes as a manager, it's difficult to pick up on this stuff unless people come to me.

Hang in there and best of luck tomorrow! You absolutely won't sound like an idiot. ;): . . . and keep me posted on how things go!

[SpaceMonkey]

Wow. I'm dealing with exactly the same stuff, only 4 months in instead of 3. I don't have many suggestions, unfortunately, but it looks like you've gotten lots of advice from others. I never thought this job would be so stressful.

[Adam Strange]

I find that, no matter how serious the situation, my boss appreciates it when you listen, think and then reply. She hears too many excuses and too much BS that this is a change.

[pisces2473]

Quite frankly, your boss may not even realize how much work you are doing until she has people going through her or you're coming to her to set priorities. *snip* I felt bad that I was so ignorant to this fact. . . but sometimes as a manager, it's difficult to pick up on this stuff unless people come to me.
I spent a 1/2 hr this morning before work, going over my notes and making a list of things I wanted to discuss. I printed out the replies from last night when I was working at the bookstore, and used it for reference. So thanks a TON, TD and Winney! I actually put down on my list something about the boss being able to see what I'm asked to do if it goes through her, so I'm glad I was on the right track with that!
Hang in there and best of luck tomorrow! You absolutely won't sound like an idiot. ;): . . . and keep me posted on how things go!
Thank you!!! I will report back to you all on what happens. I have two pieces of legal paper with notes on it (only one side, and I skipped lines) but I think this will help.

[winneythepooh7]

Good luck today!!

[red]

good luck! it sounds like you have a good plan.

[mishl982]

Good luck! Keep us posted.

[pisces2473]

We've had 1/2 of our meeting, which is going well, I think. Then she had another meeting, but we're going to resume in a little bit. She made a comment about "the customer is always #1" which I know, but I think I'm going to start our next phase with that comment...and how it's often hard to keep the customer #1 when there's so much going on, and that's why I don't feel that the job isn't being done well. Too much stress, too much work = customers not being taken care of fully. Maybe this will help bring it home?

Be back with another update later.

[pisces2473]

Heading home soon, but I wanted to give another update.

We talked more after the bosses went out for a lunch meeting. They strategized and decided to take one HUGE task away from me and give that to someone who does a lot of the same work anyway.

I will be meeting more regularly with the people who I'm to be supporting, to gauge where they need my help, their deadlines, meetings, etc. This will help a lot.

I feel MUCH better.

[red]

great! i am glad it went well.

i hope the task they took away from you was the hole punching ;-)

[TinyDancer]

I will be meeting more regularly with the people who I'm to be supporting, to gauge where they need my help, their deadlines, meetings, etc. This will help a lot.

I feel MUCH better.
Horray! I think it's a really good idea to meet with your customers often. Also, I'm not sure how often you have formal meetings with your boss. . . but if you don't, could you suggest a weekly or bi-weekly meetings to talk about what you have going on? If that's not possible, make sure to talk to her when you're having issues. Don't let things bottle up inside and communicate when you've got too much going on and you're going to drop the ball on something.

Good work!!! :)

[pisces2473]

great! i am glad it went well.

i hope the task they took away from you was the hole punching ;-)
Hahahaha, no. I'm not doing "your" job anymore ;)

Horray! I think it's a really good idea to meet with your customers often. Also, I'm not sure how often you have formal meetings with your boss. . . but if you don't, could you suggest a weekly or bi-weekly meetings to talk about what you have going on? If that's not possible, make sure to talk to her when you're having issues. Don't let things bottle up inside and communicate when you've got too much going on and you're going to drop the ball on something.

Good work!!!
Oh no, I don't meet with customers...I'm supporting those coworkers who deal with our customers. My boss might be out of the office for awhile soon, so I'm going to be briefing daily with a coworker and then I'll be speaking weekly with the other 2 coworkers who I'll be supporting--just to catch me up on their priorities and stuff.

Yeah, I've definitely learned a lesson about speaking up. I thought "oh it'll get better, I can handle this." Guess again.

Thanks everyone for your ideas and support!!

[winneythepooh7]

Awesome!!!!

[Kitty]

Yay! Glad to hear it went well!

[yankeeyosh]

Good deal! :)

[Suidoken]

Pisces

From now on keep track of the time it takes you to do all your tasks. Managers want explanations not excuses. Upper management likes documentation to. I don’t have the time issues your job seems to have but I do have elements of not be giving the lead on major projects in my mix. What I do after each assignment is send an email to my boss and his boss formatted like this:

To: Boss and Big Boss
Subject: (whatever the assignment is)

Assignment: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _____________________

Problems: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________________

Analysis/Recommendation:
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________

The more detailed the problems and your analysis is the better you will look in the eyes of management.

Regardless of how many Aholes there are in mgmt there is at least someone who is sane in the chain of command. When certain people know your name and start recognizing your ability to analyze situations things will change.

These emails are your backup document to protect your butt to. Hopefully you will never be under scrutiny like I have been but if so it’s always okay to cover your basis. Lack of documentation in a situation cost me $10,000 about 4 months ago.