capella
11-29-2006, 06:32 PM
I am not a flip flopper kind of gal. I am the classic Type A, always knows what she wants, how to get it, and what she'll do when she gets it kind of gal. So why am I so fuzzy about what I want to do??
I hate my job some days. Then I love it some days. Then I hate it. Love it. Hate it. Love it. You get the picture. I totally love the actual teaching part. It's all the other nonsense and bullshit that ruins it for me. It's the life eating aspect of it that bothers me the most.
But I am unsure of what I want. I have so many questions rolling around in my head and heart.
Do I want to teach elementary again since I LOVE and ADORE the students? If so, should I teach, say, 4th grade since the kids are a little more independent? I couldn't ever teach anything younger than 3rd... the not independent at ALL thing would drive me insane.
Do I want to avoid elementary since the paperwork and the planning is so overwhelming? Should I stick it out to see if it's any better post-NCLB? (And I firmly believe things are so over-testing crazyness that it will have to balance out eventually and there WILL be a post-NCLB era).
Should I go back to middle school since the workload was SOOOOO much less stressful even though the kids could be downright awful some days? It was a lot easier to plan one subject a day and I feel like I did a MUCH better job.
Do I want to get out of teaching altogether? Is it just my shitty school and district this year? Should I try somewhere else and see if it's different? If I left teaching and got a whole other degree, would I be any happier? Would I miss teaching?
Will I feel any differently after we move and I actually make a decent salary for what I do? (It's around 33K here and 45K there for the same job and experience level).
I will definitely miss the summer off and the breaks, but are they worth it if it means I have to sacrifice my life the rest of the year? Should I just settle on "good enough" and stop letting it eat my life up? Can I deal with that?
Ahhhhh!!!! I don't know what I want. I hate that.
*Warning, these thoughts, opinions, and drivel are subject to change without notice or reason*
I hate my job some days. Then I love it some days. Then I hate it. Love it. Hate it. Love it. You get the picture. I totally love the actual teaching part. It's all the other nonsense and bullshit that ruins it for me. It's the life eating aspect of it that bothers me the most.
But I am unsure of what I want. I have so many questions rolling around in my head and heart.
Do I want to teach elementary again since I LOVE and ADORE the students? If so, should I teach, say, 4th grade since the kids are a little more independent? I couldn't ever teach anything younger than 3rd... the not independent at ALL thing would drive me insane.
Do I want to avoid elementary since the paperwork and the planning is so overwhelming? Should I stick it out to see if it's any better post-NCLB? (And I firmly believe things are so over-testing crazyness that it will have to balance out eventually and there WILL be a post-NCLB era).
Should I go back to middle school since the workload was SOOOOO much less stressful even though the kids could be downright awful some days? It was a lot easier to plan one subject a day and I feel like I did a MUCH better job.
Do I want to get out of teaching altogether? Is it just my shitty school and district this year? Should I try somewhere else and see if it's different? If I left teaching and got a whole other degree, would I be any happier? Would I miss teaching?
Will I feel any differently after we move and I actually make a decent salary for what I do? (It's around 33K here and 45K there for the same job and experience level).
I will definitely miss the summer off and the breaks, but are they worth it if it means I have to sacrifice my life the rest of the year? Should I just settle on "good enough" and stop letting it eat my life up? Can I deal with that?
Ahhhhh!!!! I don't know what I want. I hate that.
*Warning, these thoughts, opinions, and drivel are subject to change without notice or reason*