Feeling rushed. Is it worth the move?

[CityGal]

My roommate has been feeling a bit bummed lately because she doesn’t have as much spending cash as she once did. Her lack of spending money is mostly due to our recent 14% rent increase—normally the annual increase has been 3%. On Monday she sends me listings of places that look great and worth checking out so I agree to go check out some places with her. The place she saw on Tuesday she loved and wants to move into. I was really surprised because she can sometimes be very indecisive about things. Anyways….she wants to move into the place!!!! The rooms will only fit a full size bed and NOTHING else. She is mostly in love with this place because it has a living room and windows and I think this is what blinded her. The room is UBER small and it only fits a full bed and nothing else. Sometimes she has no clue about what fits into what ‘comfortably’. When I try to tell her you can tell she gets a bit annoyed. Currently, her room has her bed wall to wall and a sort of cabinet thing. She has to jump over her bed to get into the room. She’s had to unscrew the closet door open to access the closet. HELP! None of my stuff will fit there. I understand her and why she wants to move. She’s been dying to have a living space where she can entertain but jeez at what cost. The best thing about the place is the rent. It will be about three hundred dollars cheaper than what I pay now. Technically, I should suck it up and move because that price is pretty cheap for any place in the city—for around that price you are pretty much lucky to get a window and a door. Ha. Should I move? I am feeling so rushed on this. We were just talking about this Monday and Wednesday she is pretty much saying we are moving. It’s like jeez can I have time to digest this all. This all feels too rushed for comfort.

[Chameleon]

You have a choice in this, if you don't want to live in a box and resent her for the rest of the lease, don't move. She can't railroad you into moving into a place you don't like if you don't let her.

Just say "No, let's keep looking" if you interested in moving to a place that will make BOTH of you happy.

[SmilesSoSweet]

Just say "No, let's keep looking" if you interested in moving to a place that will make BOTH of you happy.

I wouldn't just move into the first place I saw. There has to be some compromise. It's not like you're a married couple and you have to continue to be roommates either.

Continue to keep looking and see what the pros and cons are of each place. Cheaper rent is always a good reason to move to another place, but you also have to consider the other factors as well.

[shimma]

ditto ditto ditto

[WorkInProgress]

I'm with the others.

[winneythepooh7]

There are decent sized places in the city that are well worth moving into that are affordable, especially with a roommate. You don't have to take the first place you see. Plus, if you haven't already, factor in the cost of the move itself, security, first and last month's rent, and the fact that tommorrow is December 1st, meaning Christmas is 25 days away. Do you really NEED to move right now? What about her moving out and you getting a new roomie?

[Winter Storm]

She is mostly in love with this place because it has a living room and windows and I think this is what blinded her.

Really? This is what sold her? So you guys don't currently have a living room or windows?

[winneythepooh7]

Also, do you live in Manhattan? There are a ton of great apartments if you are willing to venture out to the boros (sometimes with quicker commutes then Manhattan itself). Also there are a lot of great apartments above 96th street.

[CityGal]

My major concern are the costs of moving. The broker's fee is 15% and whatever other initial fees are due. I recently paid off my credit card so I have literally no funds to really move besides the security depoist for the place I am now. I've been thinking about this all morning and in a way it makes sense to move. Although I think I'll be hit the most with move-in costs (u-haul, broker's fee, and other furnishings). Another major concern I have is the fact that I cannot really sign a lease because I don't have a real guarantor. If my roommate and I part ways, I'll have to find a place that won't require a gurantor and that's nearly impossible because I don't make enough to lease an apartment on my own. The next choice will be to bunk in with new people. Ugh. So stressful. I hate moving and all this is becoming overwhelming.

[CityGal]

Really? This is what sold her? So you guys don't currently have a living room or windows?

Ha. It is a converted two bedroom so no living room. The only windows in the apartment are in the rooms and the bathroom. She feels isolated because of this and wants more windows.

[winneythepooh7]

My major concern are the costs of moving. The broker's fee is 15% and whatever other initial fees are due. I recently paid off my credit card so I have literally no funds to really move besides the security depoist for the place I am now. I've been thinking about this all morning and in a way it makes sense to move. Although I think I'll be hit the most with move-in costs (u-haul, broker's fee, and other furnishings). Another major concern I have is the fact that I cannot really sign a lease because I don't have a real guarantor. If my roommate and I part ways, I'll have to find a place that won't require a gurantor and that's nearly impossible because I don't make enough to lease an apartment on my own. The next choice will be to bunk in with new people. Ugh. So stressful. I hate moving and all this is becoming overwhelming.

Yeah but how soon are you going to see your original security deposit? And if you don't have a guarantor or the money to actually move your stuff, again, I must ask you: is this a good idea? I mean, don't do this just to appease your current roommate. You have to look out for #1.

[CityGal]

Yeah but how soon are you going to see your original security deposit? And if you don't have a guarantor or the money to actually move your stuff, again, I must ask you: is this a good idea? I mean, don't do this just to appease your current roommate. You have to look out for #1.

My major concern with all this is the rush. Our lease isn’t up yet and she wants to move out already. My roommate has a habit of getting enamored with things and going at them at full throttle without realizing other possibilities. Although she does think through things extensively, she often follows things at the spur of the moment—I would say too often. I understand the need to rush things and go at them if your heart tells you to, but at the same time certain things do demand more cautiousness. I know that in NY the market is pretty fast but even so I still think things need to be thought out in their entireties. I have looked at probably hundreds of apartments in NY and know what kind of money gets you what. This apartment is reasonable for the price. There is great lighting throughout the apartment. Although the rooms are small they do accommodate at least a full size bed.

Update:

I went to check out the place again with my roommate and it seems like it could probably work out. There will be some adjustments to make but I believe they are doable. My reasoning was that if she moved out and I stayed with the apartment, I would have to sign the lease in our current place and it is nearly impossible to do by myself. The person moving in would have to sign a lease and we would also probably need a guarantor which the other person would need to provide. The chances of finding someone who could sign a lease and provide a guarantor are slim to none within the next few weeks. So staying in my current place will be almost undoable. If I move to some other place, I would still have to provide the essentials at move-in and hope to find something decent for what I pay now or better less and drama-free roommates. If I stay with my roommate and go to this place, we will be moving in together so that awkwardness of moving into someone’s place won’t be there because it’ll be ours. God, why is she rushing into all this? Either way because she is rushing out, I will need to do some rushing of my own-either to stay and get a new roommate or find another place to live in two weeks.

[winneythepooh7]

Is there a penalty for breaking your lease? A client of mine moved out early due to health issues, and they still had to have their rent paid for several months (like over a grand) because no one moved into her apartment. Great way to spend those tax payer dollars right? But this could be your dollars if there is a penalty.

[CityGal]

Is there a penalty for breaking your lease? A client of mine moved out early due to health issues, and they still had to have their rent paid for several months (like over a grand) because no one moved into her apartment. Great way to spend those tax payer dollars right? But this could be your dollars if there is a penalty.


Roommate said the landlord OK'd it and that we would only have to pay 250. Considering that she is the reason we are breaking it, I don't think I should pay it though. Should I be?

[winneythepooh7]

Roommate said the landlord OK'd it and that we would only have to pay 250. Considering that she is the reason we are breaking it, I don't think I should pay it though. Should I be?

No, but it sounds like she may be the type to continue to walk all over you to get you to pay, considering she already appears to have talked you into a move that may not be in your best interest. Just an outsider's perspective from what you've written.