Connections at work

[CityGal]

How many of you know someone who got hired because they had a friend or a relative in the company? How many of you got hired because of a friend or relative? That is exactly how my department is with I guess me as an exception and the guy I replaced. In a way I think that its totally wrong because you should be more open to new people but hey if you can get in with connections go for it. The only thing that has become really irritating is that they constantly help each other out and because of this I swear they will never get fired. NOW that is totally unfair. Fine you got them the job but they are grown enough to handle things so let them do it. I sometimes feel at a disadvantage because of it and it is totally NOT cool. One part rant and one part question…phew out! Thanks.

[winneythepooh7]

How many of you know someone who got hired because they had a friend or a relative in the company? How many of you got hired because of a friend or relative? That is exactly how my department is with I guess me as an exception and the guy I replaced. In a way I think that its totally wrong because you should be more open to new people but hey if you can get in with connections go for it. The only thing that has become really irritating is that they constantly help each other out and because of this I swear they will never get fired. NOW that is totally unfair. Fine you got them the job but they are grown enough to handle things so let them do it. I sometimes feel at a disadvantage because of it and it is totally NOT cool. One part rant and one part question…phew out! Thanks.

Honestly I feel completely different then you as someone in charge of hiring. It's pretty hopeless the candidates I have gotten through advertising alone. I would love to hire based on recommendations. It's my opinion based on the randoms I interview that the majority of them are shit-freakin-crazy. At least most people are not willing to recommend someone unless they are really good, because that's their reputation on the line. I am totally open to new people, but all the "new people" just are completely out there.

[Kitty]

No one that I know of..

[winneythepooh7]

It sounds too that you may be a little jealous, maybe not being in their circle or something?

[weary]

It sounds too that you may be a little jealous, maybe not being in their circle or something?

she has posted about feeling left out @ work before. can't say that i blame her, but i also agree w/ you winney on the hiring from employee referrals. no idiot is going to refer someone to work at their place of employment who isn't good b/c it's going to reflect on them. i've had some GREAT hires through ER's. a few gems from other sources, but ER's are almost always golden.

[workaholic?]

i don't know if this necessarily qualifies as a friend or relative, but when i was looking for a job, i decided to email the Vice President of my corporation (large company...over 50,000 employees) because he's a fellow alum from my university. he took the time out of his busy day not just to read my email, but also to schedule about an hour's time to talk with me on the phone and then put my resume in front of the company's campus recruiting director, who then called me personally and then passed my resume on to an actual recruiter. when i went for my interviews, i had several people in the office ask me, "how did you know Mr. XYZ?" obviously his name had been left on my recruiting notes, and his endorsement really helped me out.

since then, i've gotten to meet him and spend some time with him on trips...he also emails me occasionally when some significant sporting event happens, which makes me feel special that he even though of me on the weekend.

so...as you can tell, i really don't have any issue with making friends in high places. i know my performance will be the key to my success, but having someone important in your corner never hurts.

[CTGirl]

Why is it a problem for people at work to know one another and work together to help one another as a group? I don't know what kind of work you do, but a lot of people at my job were hired on referral from current employees, and if anything, it just helps us to be a more cohesive team because some of us know one another really well.

[AshleyJordan]

Love the referral system (helped me get my job.) Also, if there's someone who I think would be a good candidate, I'm sure to pass his or her info along tomy contacts. . . once I'm sure that it's worth it for me to put in a good word.

I wouldn't want to lose any credibility so I'm very careful about who I refer. And my colleagues know that. This often works for jobs that aren't advertised formally. . . and for a lot of other stuff (apartments, referrals to services, etc.,) in my little universe.

[wordsmith]

I work in a small town, who you know is a big deal. If somebody can vouch for you, you have a leg up over an unknown commodity. I had a leg up on the job b/c I'm local, which is, essentially, being known by everybody, or at least known OF. Had the job come down to myself and a nonlocal, all other things (background, experience, expertise, quality of interview, etc.) been equal, my being a known commodity would have given me the extra bump over the line, I'm sure.

There are pros and cons to this in my field.

On one had, if you're a local in a small town, your job as a reporter is a lot easier. People will talk to you, and more candidly most times, because they're chattier and less wary than they are with people who are "not from around here." You also don't have as much of a learning curve, you already know who's in charge of what, who your contacts are, how to get ahold of them, who's connected to who, you don't have to learn it through trial and error. You already know a lot of the history and subtext behind various issues without somebody having to tell you or spending a lot of time researching it. You're a reasource for other reporters and writers.

On the other hand, a fresh, completely neutral perspective is valuable in a reporter, and that's easier to come by in somebody who's a blank slate, literally, has no ties to anybody. And, also, not only do you come without specific biases, nobody has any biases, at least not right away, against you personally, other than just not knowing you, which, as said above, can be a bias, too.

[WorkInProgress]

From the outside looking in, at my company, we can look awfully incestuous, if I'm being totally honest.

I think it's a good guess that most people who work for my company knew somebody going in, whether it was a friend, a former coworker or a family member. Of those working at the same site I do, I think absolutely everyone falls into that category. Part of that has to do with the type of work we do, the fact that my company was a small business not that long ago, and the fact that when there is an opening, there is a definite, "Hey, anybody know someone who would be good for this?" kind of thing going on. Often the answer is, "I might know a guy...lemme check."

My first job with the company (a summer job, while I was still in college) was definitely a, "hey, you've got a kid who's going to x college, right? Is she looking for a job, because I've got some work to get done..." sort of situation. Did I get hired because I knew someone: arguably yes, the first time (also arguably no, since there are any number of coworkers' kids who didn't start working here). But I worked my butt off, so the answer is definitely no after that first time, for other breaks from school, nor for my initial part time, nor for my full time work.

[Kitty]

At my last company, EVERYONE got in because of a connection. They were all Berkeley grads and new each other that way or were friends of the president's son, etc. It was really creepy..there were like married couples within the company (of only 50 people!). I was THE ONLY person who didn't get in because of a connection; I got the job from craigslist. It sucked at times because I didn't feel like "part of the family" but they were all a bunch of ass holes, so I didn't really want to fit in.

[wordsmith]

there were like married couples within the company (of only 50 people!)

There is a married couple here (and the wife's brother is also an employee, the GM, in fact, though he was hired long after her), and there are only NINE of us.

It's not really a big deal at this level, and they don't act weird or get perks nobody else gets or anything, but the whole company that owns the paper has its share of this. There is a father-daughter dynasty in advertising at the biggest of our regional papers, and they are ASSHOLES. The marketing coordinator for the entire company (of over 100 papers across the country is the owner's son, and he's a tool and a half. Our regional manager has a son JUST out of college, and the son was given, upon getting his bachelor's (and I do mean given, not earned, there's no possible way he could have earned the position in the time frame involved, didn't intern, nothing) the position of publisher at an entire string of papers in one of our more appealing geographic locations.

[Kitty]

Scandal at my last job happened because of the marriages. So, this one guy joins the firm and marries a fellow employee. The have 3 kids, etc. Then, this same guy starts SLEEPING with another employee. SO, all three of them are working together. The wife finds out and then files for a divorce, etc. Still, all three of them are working there. Then, this guy moves out of his house and moves in with the woman he's been sleeping with. The wife quits the firm. The guy then gets engaged to the woman he was cheating on his wife with. NUTS.

[WorkInProgress]

It sucked at times because I didn't feel like "part of the family" but they were all a bunch of ass holes, so I didn't really want to fit in.

I hope anyone in my company who isn't "in" doesn't feel like that. In my office & at my site, we try not to be exclusionary.

[CityGal]

It sounds too that you may be a little jealous, maybe not being in their circle or something?

I am totally jealous. I am the only person in my department who is 'different.' The only one who really interacts with everyone else in the office. They have their own little click and stick with themselves. I am totally accepting of the connection part and getting in through a friend or a relative but my issue is with the continuing to help the person long after they've been hired. It doesn't seem fair to baby them along their steps. If they eff up then they should get marks against them like anyone. My concern is that because they are so chummy chummy they will never be reprimanded as the rest of us.

Ugh...I just get a little upset when I see people getting babied esp. because no one has really babied me with anything. With most of my jobs, I have had to do the tough grueling work myself. I didn't have anyone show me the ropes and tell me want to do or what not to do (this also feeds my QLC)...for the most part I think this is where my fear and frustrations kick in. Throughout my life, I have never had someone tell me how to do things or tell me what to do and when. I always feel shortchanged with that...especially seeing people take easy routes because someone has helped them out. NO one has really helped me out. Whatever disasters/accomplishments I have done, I did all on my own. It just sucks and sometimes I feel like crying because I feel no one ever thinks of me to help. Often I have helped others get to their next step, but I never really have someone help me with mine.

Is there something so wrong with me that not many people feel the need to offer help? Do I look all put together? Do I have to have the look of despair on my face for someone to bother giving me a second glance?

[Kitty]

I am totally jealous. I am the only person in my department who is 'different.' The only one who really interacts with everyone else in the office. They have their own little click and stick with themselves.

Yeah, I know how that feels. It SUCKS. Sorry I dont have any sort of solution..

[CityGal]

Yeah, I know how that feels. It SUCKS. Sorry I dont have any sort of solution..

Neither do I. It totally sucks.

[Skyblade]

I was hired based on an employee referral. However, the guy who referred me worked in a totally different department so its not like he was able to baby me, when he didn't know much about my department. He also left the company a couple months after I started working here.
I usually feel the jealousy in the workplace thing is a waste of time. I've spent many days spinning my wheels at why such and such person gets paid more or has an office or is employed at all. In the end, I have only myself to vouch for and I do think what goes around comes around. Maybe now she is being babied through the process, but when she finally has to do something on her own and nobody is around to help, she'll fall flat on her face.

[weary]

CG - you'v posted these kinds of feelings about your job before. i'm curious...why did you decide to stay instead of taking th other job you were offered? i know your current job countered and all, but it seems like it may not be worth the $$$....

[CityGal]

CG - you'v posted these kinds of feelings about your job before. i'm curious...why did you decide to stay instead of taking th other job you were offered? i know your current job countered and all, but it seems like it may not be worth the $$$....

Weary, this is such a comfortable job. The pay is often sucky but the people (besides those in my dept) are amazing to work with. I guess I was scared of starting something new and falling flat on my face...going from the semi-secure to the really unsecure everyone is watching. I also figured that if i finally get accepted into grad school I would have been leaving that job after a few months.

[winneythepooh7]

CG - you'v posted these kinds of feelings about your job before. i'm curious...why did you decide to stay instead of taking th other job you were offered? i know your current job countered and all, but it seems like it may not be worth the $$$....


Ah, I remember now. Yeah, that's true. If you aren't happy in the environment, it's time to look for another job. Even if it's the same thing, depending on the environment could make or break your experience.

[weary]

Weary, this is such a comfortable job. The pay is often sucky but the people (besides those in my dept) are amazing to work with. I guess I was scared of starting something new and falling flat on my face...going from the semi-secure to the really unsecure everyone is watching. I also figured that if i finally get accepted into grad school I would have been leaving that job after a few months.

i can understand that. my job right now is pretty damn cushy. if i left i'd most certainly have to work much harder all while getting to know new people and systems, for the same or not much more pay. (my pay right now is nice.) the only things i would like to do would require i get specific [and in some cases costly] training and also be a significant pay cut. so...i'm sticking it out here until i have some more freedom (read: the kid is finished or almost finished w/ school) to explore other options. i don't think i'll leave unless an opportunity too good to pass up drops in my lap or something awful happens here (work).

have you sent off all your applications and materials for grad school?

[CityGal]

i can understand that. my job right now is pretty damn cushy. if i left i'd most certainly have to work much harder all while getting to know new people and systems, for the same or not much more pay. (my pay right now is nice.) the only things i would like to do would require i get specific [and in some cases costly] training and also be a significant pay cut. so...i'm sticking it out here until i have some more freedom (read: the kid is finished or almost finished w/ school) to explore other options. i don't think i'll leave unless an opportunity too good to pass up drops in my lap or something awful happens here (work).

have you sent off all your applications and materials for grad school?

Same here. Too cushy to leave and I would have to work a lot harder in another place. As for the applications, I have sent out none. It is all procrastination. I spoke to my therapist about it and she said that it is all due to not being confident in yourself to pull off the task. I am def. scared to send them out and get rejection letters for the second time. Don't know if I can handle going back to do all this again. One of these days I am just going to send them off with no hesitations. I got all the components taken care of but they have yet to be put together.

[PenforPrez]

What bothers me is when somebody's connections shields them when they should be punished, which frequently happens.

When I worked at Wal-Mart, we had this manager who was a complete B-I-T-C-H!! She harassed anybody when she felt like it, she treated everybody as she wanted to, and nobody said a word.

I and a coworker of mine were once on the receiving end of one of her unreasonable tirades. Of course, the store manager had known her almost from birth, so he never said or did anything. His boss shielded him, and likewise up the line. Made me sick. :mad:

I wish I could get somebody to recommend me somewhere. Everybody says I'm well-qualified, capable, nice enough, etc., etc., but nobody wants to suggest me to anybody, that I'm aware of. Makes me feel inadequate. Like I need help with that. :googly:

Paul

[weary]

Same here. Too cushy to leave and I would have to work a lot harder in another place. As for the applications, I have sent out none. It is all procrastination. I spoke to my therapist about it and she said that it is all due to not being confident in yourself to pull off the task. I am def. scared to send them out and get rejection letters for the second time. Don't know if I can handle going back to do all this again. One of these days I am just going to send them off with no hesitations. I got all the components taken care of but they have yet to be put together.

do i need to send you weekly emails pestering you to do this??? 'cause i will. ;):

i know it's hard to do it w/ the fear of rejection...but, a closed mouth don't get fed!

[CityGal]

What bothers me is when somebody's connections shields them when they should be punished, which frequently happens.

When I worked at Wal-Mart, we had this manager who was a complete B-I-T-C-H!! She harassed anybody when she felt like it, she treated everybody as she wanted to, and nobody said a word.

I and a coworker of mine were once on the receiving end of one of her unreasonable tirades. Of course, the store manager had known her almost from birth, so he never said or did anything. His boss shielded him, and likewise up the line. Made me sick. :mad:

I wish I could get somebody to recommend me somewhere. Everybody says I'm well-qualified, capable, nice enough, etc., etc., but nobody wants to suggest me to anybody, that I'm aware of. Makes me feel inadequate. Like I need help with that. :googly:

Paul

I feel you Paul. I must say...I do find your posts very amusing at times...esp the underwear ones. ha.

[CityGal]

do i need to send you weekly emails pestering you to do this??? 'cause i will. ;):

i know it's hard to do it w/ the fear of rejection...but, a closed mouth don't get fed!

ha. You should maybe I'll get my act together then.