Discouraging Coworkers

[Nowtide]

Hello,

I have started a new job as an apprentice mechanic and to say the least am very insecure about this decision (see "Trying a Trade" for more info if interested). As of yesterday I posted an update saying that I was feeling better about my decision and getting used to my new career path.

One of the mechanics seems to be constantly telling me to run and get out of the field and is constantly presenting reasons for me to leave the trade (the cost of tools, the physical work, constantly having to learn new systems etc). To be honest I chose this trade for most of the reasons he says the trade is no good.

Yesterday I went to work and asked a question about something he was working on and he sai "this trade really isnt for you is it?". this was pretty devastating for me as I was asking so that I could learn what he was doing and instead he tried to shake my confidence. Because it was unexpected it really through me off.

Perhaps he is able to see something that I can't and the trade really isnt for me. He also seems to be going through a midlife crisis and is cheating on his wife which makes me think that he is projecting his own regrets onto me and trying to discourage me.

Anyway, if I was more sure of myself I suppose it would not have affected me at all but since I am struggling with my decisions as of late and trying a new career it was a pretty dark experience making me really doubt myself and my abilities.

Any thoughts? Has anyone had a situation like this dealing with unhappy and discouraging coworkers?

Nowtide

[cache]

No one in this world knows what's best for you better than you. This guy sounds like a jerk who is pissed off because he is in the business not because of a conscious choice, but because he got stuck in it. You, who have made a conscious choice to do this, are better than this guy. Don't listen to him, listen to yourself.

You're right, this guy is trying to project his misery onto you. The old saying holds true here: misery loves company. He may even dispise you because you represent what he is not: someone who is eager and excited to be in the business, while he is bitter and disappointed with his life choices.

Try not to let him affect you, keep working hard at it if it is what you want to do. And good luck.

[tina1979]

ditto that. if its something you want to do don't be discouraged by your coworker. There are people like that in every industry.

[CTGirl]

There are always going to be coworkers like this in any field that you work, cuz there are always people who hate their job, no matter how great it may be. My office culture is practically a utopia, and we still have people whining about their jobs.

Don't let him get you down, and most likely, if you continue to show him that you arent miserable like him, he'll leave you alone and whine to someone else who reinforces him instead.

[arrow]

He also may feel threatened by you. You are young with more energy and potential and you may end up taking his jobs/making more money. I know it sounds paranoid, but people can be very manipulative when trying to protect themselves.

[Nowtide]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your replies. I think I felt all that you have said but needed to hear it from other people. It is a bit of a weird situation becuase as an apprentice I have to work directly with a mechanic and the shop is small so I don't have the choice to work with another person.

That said, he spends a lot of time trying to discourage me from the trade, he said his son wanted to enter the trade and he discouraged him as well. Most traesmen I find are quite proud of their work and have quite a bit of wisdom about life and work that they are happy to pass on...not this guy.

He has definately made a mess of his life and is regretting the path he chose and is probably a bit frustrated that many of the reasons he dislikes this trade are the reasons that I entered it. You always find people who are negative in every job, it's how you deal with it that counts. I will use his negativity as motivation to learn more and be the best mechanic I can.

Cheers,

Nowtide

[winneythepooh7]

I work in Social Work and there are definitely things about it I hate. There are also populations I know I cannot work with. I vent, but I need to remember that just because I don't personally like something, doesn't mean someone else may not love that. I agree that this dude is probably pissed off with his own life. If you are liking what you are doing, don't let him or anyone else get you down.

[spokes]

as an aside, and i don't mean to generalize, however i am guessing that a garage is not the most "enlightened" work place.......perhaps you just need to find the right shop to work at - i am sure there would be someone somewhere a little more supportive to mentor you......in the meantime i say good for you for going down this road - the work is not easy, however there are lots of cars out there and they are getting more and more complicated for the average person to work on (i know it takes me almost 3 hours just to change the spark plugs on my truck - it not difficult just hard to maneouver in a tight area).

one you are a liscensed mechanic you skills will be very portable - good luck with your choosen field.

[winneythepooh7]

as an aside, and i don't mean to generalize, however i am guessing that a garage is not the most "enlightened" work place.......perhaps you just need to find the right shop to work at - i am sure there would be someone somewhere a little more supportive to mentor you......in the meantime i say good for you for going down this road - the work is not easy, however there are lots of cars out there and they are getting more and more complicated for the average person to work on (i know it takes me almost 3 hours just to change the spark plugs on my truck - it not difficult just hard to maneouver in a tight area).

one you are a liscensed mechanic you skills will be very portable - good luck with your choosen field.

I didn't want to go there, but that is what I am thinking too. And I also agree that once you gain more skills, the sky is the limit. I've heard of some very rich mechanics actually ;).