Bit of a bump in the road

[canucksgirl]

Hi All,

I haven't posted a msg in awhile but I felt compelled to update/ramble. I am doing really well for the most part and on my way to being out of this almost 3year mess. DEBT FREE and living on my own. Here is a brief rundown of my QLC:

March 2004 graduated with a Fashion Merchandising Diploma, struggled to find a job in the field. I took out a credit line for $5000 (I was in a little bit of debt from school and gave $3500 to a friend in need and along the way I lent her more $$) In Nov 2004, I finally realized the huge mistake I made and that she was never gonna give it back and started the process of suing her and repairing myself. Prozac and lotsa therapy helped. Eventually I was able to forgive myself and realized I was a good person who just made a huge mistake. Went to court and had to serve her with more papers, but then I got a notice that she filed for bankruptcy (32G's!!!!!!). She had owed me a total of just over 6G's. Then there was $1600 that she had racked up on her phone that I had cosigned. You know you've hit rock bottom when you're bawling in the cell phone store! Anyways so I was finally able to put all that past me. I went back to school in Sept 05 for a certificate in desktop publishing. And I was able to LIVE and to spend $$ without feeling guilty. I even went on vacation!!! Something I hadn't done in a really long time!!! THREE crazy, intense days in NY and a wedding in IL!!!! :>

Fast forward to where I am now. I am a much stronger person. I no longer have dreams where I'm beating the crap outta her. Even tho I'd still like to ;) I've been slowly chipping away at paying off debt now it's just school. I have one more class to take in January and then I'm done my certificate.

So my new QLC... I had a job in my field, through my mom (so I didn't have to go through the daunting job hunting process) and I was a contract desktop publisher at a hospital, creating brochures whenever the work got too much for this other woman. They didn't call me that often but it paid twice as much as what I make at my other job (clothing store). So the paycheques were so nice! But recently they told me that the hospital is no longer using contract people cuz of over budgeting. Which sucks. Cuz I had a plan, I would finish off school and work both jobs and then after the contract was up in March, after getting confidence and experience I would apply for fulltime jobs. Now I have to rethink my plan. Have to start looking for jobs now. Gotta let the clothing store what hours I want for Jan (cuz someone is leaving) and work around the one class (providing it doesn't get canceled again).

It just sucks when you think you've got things worked out and then things change. Not all that much to work through but I think it's just the fact that I have to job hunt sooner that I expected. Which completely scares me, but now I've got a little bit of experience under my belt. And my plan was to have my debts paid off by the end of April and then a few months to save and MOVE OUT!!!!! I just really hope that is a reality. The hospital job provided that extra bit of breathing room. I just wanna be debt free soooo bad and I'm ALMOST there. Trying to find balance between having a bit of a social life and saving is hard. Cuz I want to save so bad but not at the cost of getting depressed again cuz I'm not going out. I've gotten past pretty much all the emotional crap from my situation but it's actually seeing the balance of zero. Cuz it's a reality that hasn't been there in so long. Few years ago I thought I would be a slave to my debt and that the end would never be in sight. $3000 to go. Just gotta keep trekking. Almost paid of $14G in 3yrs. It's a beautiful thing that the end is near just antsy waiting for it!!!

Thanks for reading!

Jules

[nikorock28]

Hi Jules! So, the plan is to start looking for a full time position after you get your certificate in January? I lack confidence in the whole job search/employment/professional/make decisions environment too. The classic saying is "fake it til you make it", but I have never been one to fake much of anything... oh well, I guess I will learn someday. At least you came out stronger through all of your turmoil. And, a bit of advice for everyone out there: NEVER EVER EVER cosign for ANYONE... just don't do it. It is not necessary. Good luck with everything Jules!

[canucksgirl]

Thanks! :) Yah I think I will continue working the same hours at the clothing store. Class starts Feb 2 and runs 3wks. Maybe start applying even before it starts. Hopefully it doesn't get canceled. There are 2 other options and they start mid Feb and they are 6wks long. Haha yah I can't fake stuff either, couldn't even fake a no when asked for $$!!! Oh believe me I've learnt my lesson. No borrowing $$ from me ever again. Still have some trust issues over the whole thing. It's worse if a complete stranger steals your credit card but when it comes from a "friend" it's even harder to take. I think when I start applying for jobs etc is to rock the interview as best I can and either they like me or they don't. And eventually someone will like me and hopefully employers will appreciate the fact that I'm real and not fake!

[nikorock28]

Yeah, I can understand why you still have trust issues after what happened to you... but, the reality is whenever you do trust someone you are vulnerable to get hurt. I'm not saying don't trust anyone (because that is no way to live), but you have to be wise about who you do trust and constantly look after the condition of your own heart.

Yeah, things in life change all the time... I never thought life were so. When I was in high school, I NEVER thought of anything that happened after high school and I still believe I am suffering the repurcussions of that. I think I am the type that needs to visualize and contemplate things well beforehand. That being said, I really have no idea where my life will take me (but I have contemplated this, so it's all good :P) I don't understand people who say they want to own a home at 25, be married by 28, have kid number one at 31, kid number 2 at 33, bceome vice president at 36, etc... if it works for them, that is great. My goals, however, are much more simple: I will do something. Yep, that is it. I don't know what that something is (it may be different at any given time), but I will simply do something. I don't feel the need to put any pressure on myself like I have to do this and that... if it is meant to be, I will WANT to do it and it will get accomplished. Sorry, I am rambling!

[wanderer9]

You always here people say ‘money isn’t everything, money can’t buy happiness’, but its amazing how much less stressful life is when you are debt free. I’ve been debt free-for a year and never want to return to that place! So congrats and good-luck with the progress. Maybe money doesn’t buy happiness, but it definitely helps!

And Nikorock, I love that ‘I will do something’ :) . I’m with you on that. If only I’d thought of it when I was seven. I’d love to see the look on people’s faces when they ask what I wanted to be when I’m older and I replied ‘I will do something’!!

[nikorock28]

I agree with you wanderer. It is just reality that we need money to live in this world.