CityGal
01-15-2007, 11:31 AM
The relationship/living situation between my roommate and I is slowly dwindling away--so much so that I am considering moving. At first, I was OK with her looking at apartments because in the past she has entertained the idea and quickly dissuaded herself or never followed through. Once she told me she was going to put a deposit down for a place, I was like OK wake up because she is really going through with this. Moving was not in my immediate plans or even in the near future. It came all out of left field even if I did tell her it was OK to LOOK…not to rent. Anyway, I let myself be talked into moving mostly because I didn’t want to crush her dreams of having a bigger space or feeling guilty for keeping her tied to a small space she has grown to hate. Honestly, I should have thought about myself first and what I could and could not do. As you all know, I am SLOWLY paying down a two thousand dollar broker’s fee that will take me until the summer to pay off—good thing it isn’t a credit card that charges interest. After all the initial stuff was settled, I thought moving wouldn’t be so bad after all because we would be moving into ‘our’ place. Boy was I wrong. She picked the couch, hung the paintings where she wanted, and set up everything in the house to her liking. The only space that I had some say so was my room and even that is a touchy situation because she won’t let me paint it—we still have the third person living with us and he isn’t leaving until May so I took the smaller room (her room) for a month or two to take a breather from him. I have now come to the realization that I was seriously delusional in thinking that this new place was going to have more of me in it. Although my name may appear on the lease, I am nothing more than a subletter.
The main reason for my post is because I am doing it again. I am noticing the pattern that happens whenever I am about to lose a friend—which is not great considering that my friend count is rather low at the moment. The roommate is becoming rather annoying with her complaining about the third person. She has the same complaints as when we lived in the other space. I believe this is mostly because not many people could get along with each other or the little things that they do get on the other’s nerves. Well….he is getting on her nervous. One of the biggest complaints she has about him is that he doesn’t recycle (albeit I barely do it either), he is a bit of a squatter now because he is on winter break from school, and because of several other little things—which I can admit can get pretty irritating. I don’t know but for some reason hearing all this from her is becoming really annoying. It is like she doesn’t understand that this is a living situation. Yes, I know that there should be some ground rules and some communication and there is. However, it seems that she gets annoyed over every little thing. If I really talk to her about this, she will get defensive and think it is a personal attack on her. The past few times we have had conversations about the living situation, I have spoken up quite a bit (considering that I thought I would have more of a say so) and she gets really defensive and puts this look on her face like I am attacking her. Honestly, I really don’t like confrontations at all. I am beginning to see that she really enjoyed me as a roommate before because I had moved into her place and was pretty much the silent partner who agreed with everything she wanted. She really gets annoyed when I try to get involved into the apartment situations. SH*& she still maintains control of the mailbox key and everything in the apartment.
What should I do? Should I suck it up now that I realized I am back to square one and am just a subletter whose name is on the lease? I still have to pay her the rest of the broker’s fee and I do not have the funds to move again. It has gotten to the point where I really don't want to talk to her much and keep to myself in my room with the door closed.
The main reason for my post is because I am doing it again. I am noticing the pattern that happens whenever I am about to lose a friend—which is not great considering that my friend count is rather low at the moment. The roommate is becoming rather annoying with her complaining about the third person. She has the same complaints as when we lived in the other space. I believe this is mostly because not many people could get along with each other or the little things that they do get on the other’s nerves. Well….he is getting on her nervous. One of the biggest complaints she has about him is that he doesn’t recycle (albeit I barely do it either), he is a bit of a squatter now because he is on winter break from school, and because of several other little things—which I can admit can get pretty irritating. I don’t know but for some reason hearing all this from her is becoming really annoying. It is like she doesn’t understand that this is a living situation. Yes, I know that there should be some ground rules and some communication and there is. However, it seems that she gets annoyed over every little thing. If I really talk to her about this, she will get defensive and think it is a personal attack on her. The past few times we have had conversations about the living situation, I have spoken up quite a bit (considering that I thought I would have more of a say so) and she gets really defensive and puts this look on her face like I am attacking her. Honestly, I really don’t like confrontations at all. I am beginning to see that she really enjoyed me as a roommate before because I had moved into her place and was pretty much the silent partner who agreed with everything she wanted. She really gets annoyed when I try to get involved into the apartment situations. SH*& she still maintains control of the mailbox key and everything in the apartment.
What should I do? Should I suck it up now that I realized I am back to square one and am just a subletter whose name is on the lease? I still have to pay her the rest of the broker’s fee and I do not have the funds to move again. It has gotten to the point where I really don't want to talk to her much and keep to myself in my room with the door closed.