Group meeting problems

[cheshrcarol]

So most of my classes this semester involve team projects. I have one group where we invited someone who didn't belong to any groups yet to join ours. One girl said he was a really good contributor so fine. Before he joined, we set our group meeting time (conference call) to be at 6:30 on Mondays.

Today I get an email from him saying our regular meeting time won't work for him and he'd prefer weeknights after 10 because it's more convenient to meet after the kids are in bed. Now, to me that seems inconvenient and selfish. Some days I have classes that go until 9 pm. I'd really prefer to be winding down by 10, not starting up another 1+ hour meeting. And I know that this guy works from home. And, he attends class live (distance student, so he's online) on Tuesdays from 6-8:50.

I'm not even sure how to respond to this. I absolutely do not want to meet that late. In fact, the latest I'd say would be to start at 7 or 8. I think that's more than enough time to have dinner with his family, etc. IMO, if you have outside obligations that get in the way of fulfilling your responsibilities, then maybe you shouldn't be in grad school.

Am I the one being selfish, or am I right that this is a ridiculous request?

[Kitty]

Just say after 10:00 doesn't work for you. If he wants to change the time then he needs to find a new time that is convenient for everyone.

[coll214]

Just say after 10:00 doesn't work for you. If he wants to change the time then he needs to find a new time that is convenient for everyone.
Ditto that. That's absurd to try and change time because it suit his schedule only... the time should work for everyone! I have a long-standing group project this semester too and I hope we don't have any issues....

[WorkInProgress]

I agree with Kitty. There's no way I would agree to meetings after 10 either.

[weary]

Am I the one being selfish, or am I right that this is a ridiculous request?
you are right and this IS a ridiculous request. even going to school as a single parent with a very limited amount of time i could meet for group projects, i would never suggest something like that. if it didn't work for me, i'd ask someone to fill me in later or take the call with the kid in the room w/ me or something. what a prick.

[winneythepooh7]

After 10PM? That's totally absurd IMO. Not too many people I know are that focused that they can function really well at that late hour. He needs to talk at a normal hour, or be booted from the group.

[wordsmith]

The time frame wouldn't bother me (but, I'm often working that late), but I think it's asinine that it would be recheduled around one person's preference.

[mishl982]

I wonder if the other group members think it's crazy as well. It's not fair for everyone to accommodate one person's schedule, especially because he's the newbie of the group. He needs to find a time that's a little more reasonable for everyone.