Poll: Am I a negative person?

[tina1979]

This is mainly for those of you who have interacted with me alot, or have read my posts. Do I come across as being a negative person? Of course everyone has bad days,but in general am I a negative person. I really want to know since I have been accused of being negative and needing to have a more optimistic view in life.

Thanks to you all!!!

[AshleyJordan]

I don't "know you" but I've read your posts and I'd say you're a realist-- neither negative nor postitive per se. This also means you seem grounded. . . that's about as much as I can say that from only having had very limited interaction with you. Not meant to be a cop-out, just my objective read on ya.

[tina1979]

Thank you Ashley!! I want honest opinions.

I want to know if I really am negative so that I can work on it if I am.

[and1grad]

I put that you have your good days and your bad, making you pretty "normal."

[AshleyJordan]

Seriously-- has anyone in your life (family, SO, friends, colleagues, etc.) implied that you're a dark stormcloud? Pissing in everyone's Cheerios? A wet blanket? If you *feel* happy, and no one credible thinks you're negative, why borrow trouble? That would be negative.

[wordsmith]

I don't think you're negative. I know you're going through some stuff, which can put anybody on edge and make you impatient with people pushing your buttons. Been there. But, no, I don't think you're negative.

[embrassezla]

you come across to me as a very stable person, emotion-wise. Never over the top in any way. I guess "realist" is a good interpretation of that, yeah. I wouldn't call you negative, though. In your "I might get banned for this" post, I LOLd thinking, "Like Tina would EVER get banned! BAH!". You're steady, all the way.

[Kitty]

I think you're more on the positive side.

[pisces2473]

you come across to me as a very stable person, emotion-wise. Never over the top in any way. I guess "realist" is a good interpretation of that, yeah. I wouldn't call you negative, though. In your "I might get banned for this" post, I LOLd thinking, "Like Tina would EVER get banned! BAH!". You're steady, all the way.
I thought that too!

I voted for #4.

[J-girl]

This is mainly for those of you who have interacted with me alot, or have read my posts. Do I come across as being a negative person? Of course everyone has bad days,but in general am I a negative person. I really want to know since I have been accused of being negative and needing to have a more optimistic view in life.

Thanks to you all!!!

No way and I am being honest. I wouldnt have even replied if I thought you were!

[winneythepooh7]

You are one of the last people on here I would ever think is negative or a "downer". I'm sorry anybody implied that this is how you are, because, I really do not see it. If anything I think some people in general on this site have problems with people being "real" about day to day stuff, or, if they do not get the answer they want to hear like the others have already stated.

[PenforPrez]

you come across to me as a very stable person, emotion-wise. Never over the top in any way. I guess "realist" is a good interpretation of that, yeah. I wouldn't call you negative, though. In your "I might get banned for this" post, I LOLd thinking, "Like Tina would EVER get banned! BAH!". You're steady, all the way.

That's about how I feel. :)

[mishl982]

I put #4, although even on your bad days it's not bad!

[yankeeyosh]

Let's just say this...compared to me, you're Ms. Happy Go Lucky :)

[AshleyJordan]

Might it be that people sometimes confuse honesty for negativity?

[tina1979]

Might it be that people sometimes confuse honesty for negativity?
Thats what I am thinking.. I think someone didn't like what i had to say so they tried to rain on my parade too. :rolleyes: obviously didn't work.

thanks guys!!! I'm so glad I participate on a board that has people like you guys on it. you are the ones who are saving graces for the "few" people on here that make me want to scream and leave.

(((hugs))) to you all

[tina1979]

just out of curiosity...

who voted that I am a negative person and why? I mean seriously. If I am negative I would really like to know specifically what I need to work on. I don't like to think I am a negative person. I'm not going to get made and you won't hurt my feelings. I just want to know.

[weary]

just out of curiosity...

who voted that I am a negative person and why? I mean seriously. If I am negative I would really like to know specifically what I need to work on. I don't like to think I am a negative person. I'm not going to get made and you won't hurt my feelings. I just want to know.
hhmmm...do you really have to ask (who)? ;)

for the record, it wasn't me!:)

[embrassezla]

just out of curiosity...who voted that I am a negative person and why? I mean seriously.
Seriously. Tina will FREAKING KILL YOU.

[coll214]

tina- you are NOT negative. I think dealing w/ all you have, you actually have a positive outlook; i'd little miss black cloud next to you anyday :D

[tina1979]

hhmmm...do you really have to ask (who)? ;)

for the record, it wasn't me!:)
Oh I'm sure I know who, without being able to see it. I just thought i'd give said person a chance to explain

[pisces2473]

Oh I'm sure I know who, without being able to see it. I just thought i'd give said person a chance to explain
Maybe in a PM?

[Chameleon]

Tina, you aren't a negative person, I don't know what the person who contacted you was smoking.

[Ciderhillnh]

I was going to let this lie but since you want an explanation:

I don’t find any issue with your honest, truthful responses. In fact those are what I appreciate most since I don’t like yes people around me. Agree when you agree with me, tell me you don’t when you don’t.

As far as your negativity, it seems that when someone posts something YOU don’t agree with, or you don’t like what they post you seem to go off the deep end and mainly focus on the negative. You seem to have a hard time looking at a positive point to something if you don’t agree with it.

You also seem to feel that if someone hasn’t personally experienced something, then they have no ability to have an opinion. You have to have personally gone through something to have any ability to understand.
While personal experience is important and very valuable, so is reading and speaking to people who have gone through it.

Point being stated, if we go with your thoughts abuse counselors can only be helpful if they themselves have been abused. OBGYNs can only be female because only they have a vagina as well.

This doesn’t seem to make sense and thus can be applied here as well.

I also just think that yes you have been through many things lately (its been noted on your posts) and yes that will affect how you think/feel/interact with others, I think you might benefit from being able to see the sunshine behind the clouds and find optimism even where you might not have any.

There are studies that those people who smile and laugh and can do this live healthier happier, less stressful lives.

Im not posting this to be mean, but to be real and truthful just as you are when you post. I tried to talk with you about this over PM, you brought it to the public forum and asked for opinions, and more specifically mine as you posted 2 times looking for who posted that they think you are negative.

[pisces2473]

Hey Cider, why do you care that Tina is negative?

[winneythepooh7]

I was going to let this lie but since you want an explanation:

I don’t find any issue with your honest, truthful responses. In fact those are what I appreciate most since I don’t like yes people around me. Agree when you agree with me, tell me you don’t when you don’t.

As far as your negativity, it seems that when someone posts something YOU don’t agree with, or you don’t like what they post you seem to go off the deep end and mainly focus on the negative. You seem to have a hard time looking at a positive point to something if you don’t agree with it.

You also seem to feel that if someone hasn’t personally experienced something, then they have no ability to have an opinion. You have to have personally gone through something to have any ability to understand.
While personal experience is important and very valuable, so is reading and speaking to people who have gone through it.

Point being stated, if we go with your thoughts abuse counselors can only be helpful if they themselves have been abused. OBGYNs can only be female because only they have a vagina as well.

This doesn’t seem to make sense and thus can be applied here as well.

I also just think that yes you have been through many things lately (its been noted on your posts) and yes that will affect how you think/feel/interact with others, I think you might benefit from being able to see the sunshine behind the clouds and find optimism even where you might not have any.

There are studies that those people who smile and laugh and can do this live healthier happier, less stressful lives.

Im not posting this to be mean, but to be real and truthful just as you are when you post. I tried to talk with you about this over PM, you brought it to the public forum and asked for opinions, and more specifically mine as you posted 2 times looking for who posted that they think you are negative.

Honestly, the biggest thing I have learned being a Social Worker is the last thing I want to say to a client, if I hope to have any kind of positive relationship with them is "I understand" if I haven't been through what they've been through. No. I. DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. I can certainly relate and feel for them, but hell no, can I understand what it's like to live life in their shoes. It's very dangerous to think like this, and I know you don't believe in helping professions, but it just needs to be said anyways.

[cache]

Agree when you agree with me,


Has that ever happened?:haha:

[meatwad]

Hey Cider, why do you care that Tina is negative?

She's just answering the poll. She's entitled to express her opinion about others, just like most of us have about her.

[Ciderhillnh]

Pisces.....the reason is that I posted a PM to Tina to take the conversation offline so it wouldnt be public.

I told Tina that she was negative and might want to try looking on the more positive sides to things as it is healthier and she might be happier trying to do so.

Rather than respond to me via PM she posted this poll.
Had Tina PMed me I would have gladly explained my comment just as I did in my post above.

Cache...yes it has happened, sometimes here (most recently in the circumcision thread) but all the time in my real life, but my friends also disagree with me and I learn from them when they do but we never get into spats or fights when we dont agree, mostly we are able to listen to what one another think and get closer because of it and the fact we respect that we have differnt ideas and thoughts.

[winneythepooh7]

Damn I need some chocolate right now.

[pisces2473]

No Cider, you aren't following. I know that you took it to PM.

Why did you feel it necessary to comment about her negativity in the "why do you not want kids" thread?

You're stepping in unsolicited, that's what's causing issues.

[Ciderhillnh]

I didn’t think anything negative was said directly about Tina.

All I posted about were my friends experiences and why I personally felt that having a doctor cut was not the best way to go.

I never said what she did for herself was wrong, or her opinions on the topic were wrong.

If I missed something, please point it out. But I am VERY careful to make I and personal opinions and general statements as to not have my comments felt that they are directed at any individual, specifically because of the mass amounts of miscommunication that take place.

[pisces2473]

What aren't you getting?

I have asked you the question--WHY did you feel it necessary to comment on her negativity?

I don't care if you said it in PM or in a thread, that's my question.

I KNOW you didn't say SHE was negative.

[Ciderhillnh]

[QUOTE=pisces2473]
Why did you feel it necessary to comment about her negativity in the "why do you not want kids" thread? QUOTE]

I answered this, I read the postings, I did not comment about her negatively in that thread. I asked you to point out where I did.

She posted the thread in response to the fact that in PM I said she was negative. Here she called out whoever posted on the poll that she was negative, which was me, and I responded.

What are you missing here?

[pisces2473]

[QUOTE=pisces2473]
Why did you feel it necessary to comment about her negativity in the "why do you not want kids" thread? QUOTE]

I answered this, I read the postings, I did not comment about her negatively in that thread. I asked you to point out where I did.

She posted the thread in response to the fact that in PM I said she was negative. Here she called out whoever posted on the poll that she was negative, which was me, and I responded.

What are you missing here?
No sweetie, it's what YOU are missing.

WHY did you call her negative in the PM then?

[tina1979]

Actually I did respond to all of your PMs . All of which had a request to stop PMing me in some form or another. You are the one who decided to make it public that this was between you and I.

As to why I took it to a poll... I just thought I would get a wider opinion than just my own. You wouldn't have been happy if I had said I don't belive that I am a negative person , or I don't believe I view things with the glass is half empty attitude as per your example. I figured I'd get a cross section on opinions before I responded, but then I decided that responding with, don't pm me again and see poll for my negativity would put an end to it. I figured if you were the one who chose that I was negative that I would give you freedom to post away.

You have. thank you for your submission.

[Ciderhillnh]

Her entire PM was basically negatively based, I finally voiced what I had been feeling about her posts and comments on the boards, privately. Trying to make sure it didnt get aired out publically.

Your a mod, why dont you just look at the PM interactions?

Tina and upon your request to not PM you, I did not respond now did I.

[pisces2473]

Oh Cider, I can't VIEW people's PMs. I can only see when people are in the act of PMing. Don't worry, Tina has already complained about your harassing behavior.

Thank you for finally answering my question.