The "Must" and "Must Not" List

[jwsthe3rd]

In another thread I recently posted, I made a "must" and "must-not" list that has the qualities I do and don't want out of a potential life partner. In other words, I have written down the "deal-breakers". If I stay true to this list, and do my best not to allow exceptions, then I think I might end up with someone decent next time I give out my heart. Basically, I need to screen them more carefully and sort of interview them for the position. I reccommend that all single people do this list and stay true to it.

I want to share my "must" and "must-not" list with you all to see what you think about it. I tried limiting myself to a list that is less than 10, so I wouldn't have too many limitations and requirements for each potential partner.

*MUSTS* :heehee:

1. Be affectionate
2. Be good at conversation
3. Be sociable / not reclusive (willing to have fun in moderation)
4. Be equally interested in a long-term relationship for the right reasons
5. Be financially responsible for themself (car, place to live, job)
6. Be someone that I could easily see myself taking home to meet my family
7. Have decent hygiene (especially fresh breath)
8. Have some goals and directions in life
9. Have a sense of humor
10.Be mentally and physically attractive to me

*MUST NOTS* :mad:

1. Be heavy into drugs or alcohol
2. Be mentally or physically abusive
3. Have any terminal illnesses or STDs
4. Be a conceited snob
5. Prioritize sex
6. Be discriminatory, prejudice, or close-minded
7. Be on the rebound or constantly talking about a past relationship
8. Be a newbie to homosexuality
9. Be overly materialistic
10.Be a negative or pessimistic person

If you'd like, share your "Must/Must Not" list with everyone else and let's critique one anothers.

["kelly"]

I just tried to think of a list and I can't you know. I think I prefer it that way, keeping an open mind.
Of the last two guys I dated, one was a cambridge grad and the other was a pot head. Loved em both, and they both brought their problems.

[embrassezla]

Aside from the obvious stuff (don't be a druggie/alchy/abuser), I need to be with someone who has a sense of humour. I dated an MBA student when I was in grad school. He had won some entrepreneurship contest at our college, started his own bidness and was super smart about a ton of stuff. I liked Everything about him, except he was NEVER FUNNY. NEVER. I mean, never never never said anything funny, never really laughed. What a downer. Lasted less than a month.

[SunDevil]

*MUSTS* :heehee:

1. Be affectionate
2. Like traveling, camping, sports and spending time together
3. Be sociable (willing to have fun in moderation)
4. Be equally interested in a long-term relationship for the right reasons
5. Be financially responsible (more how they spend, than what they have)
6. Be someone that I could easily see myself taking home to meet my family
7. Not have past boyfriends they still love or compare me to
8. Prioritize sex
9. Have a sense of humor
10.Be mentally and physically attractive to me

*MUST NOTS* :mad:

1. Be into drugs, smoking or alcohol
2. Be mentally or physically abusive
3. Have any terminal illnesses or STDs
4. Worked as an escort, porn star, or have had a bunch of one night stands or F*** buddies
5. Complain, nag, make a scene, argue loudly
6. Be a workaholic
7. Be on the rebound or constantly talking about a past relationship
8. Have kids or want kids anytime soon
9. Be overly materialistic
10.Be a negative or pessimistic person

[The Happy Hodag]

I also kinda sorta have a list myself, not that I'm really looking:

Must. . .

. . .be a woman
. . .be affectionate
. . .like to travel, even if only in state
. . .be attractive to me in some way

Must not. . .

. . .be a man
. . .be a Republican

Short, I know.

-The Happy Hodag!

[PenforPrez]

I have a problem with having a lengthy list for potential partners. I've learned that a lot of things are negotiable or even tolerable. With my miserable lack of ability in meeting single women, I find this a good attitude to have.

There are a few very ironclad things for me. A woman MUST be emotionally available. That way, they'll be less likely to run when they start falling for me, as happened the last time. Never dreamed that would ever be an issue, but it is.

A woman has to be somewhat intelligent and has to follow the news on a semi-regular basis. I can't stand people who haven't had an original thought since they left school. I need somebody I won't be bored around.

No Republicans. Period. Non-negotiable. On your way. An independent I can tolerate, though.

Say N-O to B.O. I do.

Beyond that, everything else is cool. :)

Paul

[shadeofgreen]

I can't see myself ever having a serious relationship with someone who was devoutly religious (regardless of religion) or far to the right, politically. I also can't see myself dating someone with a kid.

I wouldn't rule someone out based soley on one of those qualities if they're amazing in every other way, but I sincerely doubt I could deal with these things for the long term.

The only requirement I have is that a guy I date is just going to have to deal with the fact that sometimes I will smell like a horse barn. I take showers and change my clothes before going anywhere, but if it's a serious relationship, at some point he's going to see me in my post-barn best, and if that's gonna bug him, it's just not going to work out.

[bridgetjones]

Sounds like a good list to me! I'd say if you follow it you'll find someone decent. There are no overly superficial points on either list. They are definately points on my list.

[SunDevil]

The only requirement I have is that a guy I date is just going to have to deal with the fact that sometimes I will smell like a horse barn. I take showers and change my clothes before going anywhere, but if it's a serious relationship, at some point he's going to see me in my post-barn best, and if that's gonna bug him, it's just not going to work out.

Just find a guy that grew up on a farm. :)

You will have to deal with smelling your partner as well. But that might be a good thing.
http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2007/02/06_sweat.shtml

I wouldn't worry about it too much. In fact I think it is a good thing that you can feel comfortable enough to be yourself and not smell like roses all the time. And when you camp, hike, exercise and rock the bed, nobody always smells great.

[shadeofgreen]

Just find a guy that grew up on a farm. :)
My current boyfriend knows nothing about animals, but he has a terrible sense of smell, so I think we're a good pair. :) He comes to my horse shows and I go to his autocrosses. It works out.

My sister once dated a cowboy when she was in South Dakota for a year. I have to admit I judge all cowboys based on that guy, and have resolved never to have anything to do with any of them.

[wordsmith]

-Doubtful that I'd last with a hardcore right winger, although living where I live, it's inevitable that anybody you date will have their conservative viewpoints on at least a few issues, so I'm pretty used to picking my battles on that score.

-I will absolutely not tolerate anybody who thinks they're going to condescend to me or pick on me over my religious views. They don't have to hold the same ones, but they may not attack or slam me over them.

-I prefer to date sombody who has an intellectual bent. That doesn't have to mean having had post-secondary schooling, but typically does work out that way, as it happens.

- I have to be with somebody who's emotionally open. Strong, silent types, to whom I'm drawn, unfortunately, have proven to be an Achilles heel. They do me more damage than good. Fact is, though, I want to know you. That means that you do have to let me in on who you are. If you can't or won't do that, nothing's gonna go very far.

-If you know for a fact you don't ever want kids, I'm not your woman.

- You must respect the fact that I am and will always be close to my family, and you are absolutely welcome to be a part of it, and that I will under no circumstances be blowing them off.

-You need to have a wry, clever streak. I'm perfectly capable of being cerebral and serious, but I do need somebody to toss some silly my way from time to time. The more sophisticated your wit, the better.